The Untold Story of Jack and Jill

Submitted into Contest #94 in response to: Start your story with someone accepting a dare.... view prompt

34 comments

Kids Suspense Thriller

"'Fine. Let's see who does it better. You, or me.'


'It is on.'


'You are so going down.'


'Oh yeah? Think you can beat me?'


'Oh I don't think so, I KNOW so.'


'Fine, we'll meet here, after 5 years and see who was day-dreaming and who was the real deal.'


'Sure.'


That was five years ago. Today's the day they finally meet. Yes, this story is not about me, or you. It's about them. The Twins, or, as you all might remember, The Double Trouble. You all may recall, Jack and Jill, the only set of identical twins in the town, who adored each other and stood by even when things were rough. All of you might now be thinking, what's this girl talking about, right?


Well, this is the untold story of Jack and Jill. We've all heard the nursery rhyme about them and its various interpretations. But what happened behind the scenes of this rhyme is still unknown. So, buckle up your seatbelts, 'cause you are about to ride the most amazing roller coaster ever.


'Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water

Jack fell down and broke his crown

And Jill came tumbling after'


What was the end of this story? That's what I'm here to tell you. Jack and Jill were now safe and sound in their home, rescued by a neighbouring farmer. While their mother went back to fetch the pail of water, Jack and Jill broke into a fight.


'Jill, why didn't you help me up when I fell, you were alright.'


'Oh dear brother, you don't remember, but I came after you, and ended in a state worse than yours. I tumbled down the whole hill and injured every part of my body.'


'Really? I didn't see you anywhere near me! Since when have you started lying?'


'Jack, I am not lying. You lay unconscious while I fell. Please believe me.'


'Yeah right.' Jack said sarcastically.


And so the great drift between the twins began. You all may not remember it, seeing as you were very young, but after this small incident, the distance between Jack and Jill grew further and further apart. They were soon so unaware of each other that if I asked them where the other was while visiting, they would say, 'I don’t know. Must be here somewhere.'


Soon they began fighting over petty issues, all fights concluding with the same two lines. Jack would say, 'You're doing it again. You are trying to run away and ignore the situation, just like you did that day when I fell.' Jill would retort to this comment and say, 'I never did run away from the situation and I never will run away from it. You're the one who disillusioned.'


After this, both would storm off in opposite directions and continue their work.


Their parents were so fed up of these daily shenanigans that they decided to send them away. In different directions. To boarding schools. At the age of six.


Years passed, now both of them were 18. Thankfully and miraculously, their 18th birthday was celebrated without any quarrels in the household. The incident I talked about in the beginning happened the day after they turned eighteen. They were talking to their parents about their future plans and both of them at once, spoke up, in unison, 'I want to open my own business. I will start off with providing mobile phone services and then expand to movies, fashion, groceries and more.'


Everyone in the room became silent. You could literally hear a water drop drop off of the sink at that moment. Then, their mother spoke up, 'Children, you both have the exact same plan. Why not do it together? It'll save you time and you will grow your business faster.'


'Partnership? With Jill? Never.'


'I don't think Jack is compatible for the ideas that I have, besides, he has no training whatsoever in business.'


'Oh really?'


'Yeah, really.'


'Fine. Let's see who does it better. You, or me.'


And the argument continued.


Now, today, at noon, I was the sole witness of this historical event. Jack, from Jack Industries and Jill, from Jill Industries, came face to face, after years and boasted their achievements.


'My company has made it in the big leagues. We're at par with the giants of almost all the industries we're a part of.'


'You poor thing, my company RULES the big leagues.'


'My company holds the record of producing the world's finest garments and the highest grossing movies in the country.'


'Jill Industries is leading in the telecom sector IN THE WORLD.'


'My company...'


Before Jack could finish, I spoke up, 'I've had enough, both of you. TWINS. Do you guys even understand the meaning of this word? You're exactly the same, your faces, your ideas, your companies, everything. Why don't you just let it all go and be the Jack and Jill everyone talks about? Why are you doing this to yourselves, and to your twin?'


That was it. I'd burst the balloon. In came the horrible memories of staying alone, staying away from their family, from their twin. They both first looked at me in anger, then softened up, then looked at each other. They knew I was right.


'I'm sorry Jill. I didn't know how to act, not the day I fell, not the day after that, not the 18 years after that too.'


'I'm sorry too Jack. I should have just let it go that day and apologized to you at that moment only.'


'No need of apologizing. A few years ago, I saw a video. Our video. Of the day we fell. You really came after me, and tumbled down the hill.'


'I am still really very sorry. That day, after our 18th birthday, I read your diary. Your future plans were written in it. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. And when father asked us our future plans, I said what you said, just to make you jealous. I'm extremely embarrassed.'


'That's no big deal, Jill. We both were kids and we both were naïve. We wanted to prove that we were better. And now we know that it does nothing, except harm.'


'Let's both bury our past and start afresh. Jack, brother, would you and your company like to join Jill Industries and make our new company, the best and most successful in the world?'


'Yes sister. I would love to.'


So, now I am here, to announce the partnership of two brilliant companies and two world-famous siblings. This day forth, Jack Industries and Jill Industries will together be known as Jack and Jill Industries. Let us all toast to that." I raised my glass and was about to walk away from the podium.


"That's great news, but who are you?" Someone from the audience asked.


"I'm the one who pushed them down the hill!"

May 18, 2021 19:08

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34 comments

TJ Squared
14:51 May 23, 2021

XDDD that ending was very clever! I never would have expected it, but here it is lol. I seriously enjoyed this one, Dhwani!

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Dhwani Jain
15:31 May 23, 2021

Yeah....it was a surprise for me too...I never knew that it would end like this, until I wrote it. I literally ended up laughing out like anything after reading what I had just typed!!!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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TJ Squared
15:49 May 23, 2021

XDDDDDDD yesh twas funny tho lol

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Felice Noelle
22:17 Dec 30, 2021

Dhwani: Your concept was very clever, yet relatable to all of us with siblings. Is the narrator Old Dame Dobb who patched his knob with vinegar and brown paper? Yeah, I taught preschool for awhile. I thoroughly enjoyed your writing. This was very creative. You could probably finesse it a little to improve the first couple paragraphs. But that will come with practice. The sentence describing the scene as so quiet that you could drop might be reworded to read more smoothly. There are many English phrases and idioms that are a little ...

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Dhwani Jain
10:26 Jan 01, 2022

Thanks I don't know any Old Dame Dobb....🤷 Yeah, we can all improve, and my editing can be a bit better

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Felice Noelle
18:48 Jan 01, 2022

The second verse for my preschoolers: Jack got up and off did trot As fast as he could caper To Old Dame Dobb who patched his nobb With vinegar and brown paper. It's just a silly rhyme and I never understood it's meaning, but my preschoolers thought it was hilarious. Re: editing: Last story Grammarly identified over thirty errors I had made AFTER I selfedited. And I thought I had done very well. M

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Dhwani Jain
03:55 Jan 02, 2022

XD ... I don't understand the 'rhyme' in it XXD

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Jasey Lovegood
08:38 Jun 29, 2021

"I'm the one who pushed them down the hill!" Honestly, I loved that ending. The idea of providing some insight into an old nursery rhyme was really creative. We got to see the future of the twins, which was really cool. I think next time you can add some more dialogue to the resolution (if ur not over the word limit!) so it's not just like a snap and everything is fine. Building up to the resolution with description provides more clarity to us readers. Great work! :)

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Dhwani Jain
08:39 Jun 29, 2021

Yeah....I really like that ending too.... Sure, I can try that...

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Charisa Tullos
20:28 May 26, 2021

Great story! Loved it, especially the ending.

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Dhwani Jain
04:15 May 27, 2021

Yeah, me too. The ending was actually an improvisation. I hadn't thought of it until I had written it down!!!

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Charisa Tullos
12:49 May 27, 2021

I am pretty much exactly the same! My mom tells me I should have an outline when writing stories, but I always just write! Unless it’s for school. XD

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Dhwani Jain
13:41 May 27, 2021

We are literally the same person!!! Even my father asks me to write an outline and STICK TO IT. I do that in school, but over here, I try to do it in an impromptu manner...

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Dhwani Jain
06:36 May 19, 2021

Hello! I hope you like this story. I have written it in the best possible way and have tried my best to bring the characters to life. I would appreciate it if you would leave a review comment below and read my blog : www.djdhwanijain.wordpress.com Thank you for reading and enjoying my story!

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Esther :)
19:27 May 28, 2021

I can totally relate to the bickering. I have a brother and boy, do I know what that's like! XD

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Dhwani Jain
04:00 May 29, 2021

Haha! I am lucky in this case...single child!!!! But whenever I visit my cousins it's a constant war field.

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Dhwani Jain
04:11 May 29, 2021

Hey, I read your bio! You asked for book suggestions, here are some of my favourites: --> A French Girl In New York (series, available on Kindle for free, at least the first book. Total no. of books=6) --> Startstruck (again on Kindle, for free, its a trilogy) --> Crystal Magic (another great series on Kindle, first book free) I am not promoting Kindle or anything, but these are the ones I had read when I was bored.

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Esther :)
05:50 May 29, 2021

Thanks! XD

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Ashley Hassan
15:07 May 24, 2021

I honestly really enjoyed this, your take on this nursery rhyme was so awesome! You really took lemons and made lemonade. Love your take on this Dhwani :)

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Dhwani Jain
15:49 May 24, 2021

Thanks Ashley. Where are you from? Would love to know about your culture...

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Ashley Hassan
17:15 May 24, 2021

I’m Guyanese, but I was born in the US. I relate to Caribbean culture.

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Dhwani Jain
17:18 May 24, 2021

Wow! That's really interesting...I'm from India.

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Ashley Hassan
14:01 May 25, 2021

Thats awesome!

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Hi Bye
07:23 May 26, 2021

Dhwani... Are you from the Youtube channel ''Cute Sisters''?

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Dhwani Jain
07:35 May 26, 2021

Hello No...

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Dhwani Jain
07:36 May 26, 2021

I do have a channel, I don't post there often...Dhwani Jain I do have a blog where I post regularly. You can visit that : www.djdhwanijain.wordpress.com

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