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LGBTQ+ Funny Drama

 I walked past the garden, making sure that I wouldn’t be seen. A long line of students had been touring the palace, for this was the old house of Cera, the chancel in which the Princess Xannia had been awaiting her true love in the age old story. I rolled my eyes whenever I heard the silly, silly tale. 

  The line of students were admiring the wonderfully plump peach colored begonias, which sprouted on the left side of the garden. I personally didn’t love begonias, but Ms. Cherrinsy made them look acceptable, at least to my standards. Not that my standards were really considered. 

  Since the death of Princess Xannia, the palace was converted into an orphanage home, where I lived, meaning me and all the other kids had almost unlimited access to run around the place as we wished. We knew every single nook and cranny of the palace, every secret door, room, and corridor. 

  You may ask why the students from the University had come to visit, and why they were so fascinated by the greenhouse gardens. During the holiday season, they come to work and volunteer as desk moderators, work at the library, or do janitorial work. There were new volunteers every year. I never cared much for them, they all treated us like we were small school children. But they were kind nonetheless.

  I turned the corner, trying to not be seen. I had always taken an interest in new people, for the only people I saw other than the new volunteers were Mrs. Cherrinsy, Mr. Popperski, and all of the children at the orphanage. And occasionally the young man who delivered groceries.

  So, because of that, Mr. Popperski (who was a very well-dressed and handsome-looking man, and he was the head director of the orphanage. The orphanage was a small and private one, and during the time I had been there (my whole life) I had never seen anyone be adopted) had decided to host a special cookie party for this occasion. We were allowed to invite whoever we wanted (we had many friends from the village), so I decided to invite Marilla, the town Bitch Girl. She was the rudest girl I had ever met, and I had never met someone as nasty as her. I had a right for my reason, though. 

  My plan was to invite her to the party so that she can see her pretty ex be with another person. I knew she would be horribly surprised, for who knew her ex was gay?

  Her Ex, Maximus, had started to see my fellow orphaned pal, Len. They had met at a picnic that had taken place a few months ago. Marilla had never gotten over it, I suppose they had been dating since they were twelve years old, and I guess she was sincerely convinced that they would get married, even though they were only fifteen. 

  Len and Max were a very sweet couple, and I could only wait to see Marilla’s reaction when she found out they would be dating. I couldn’t help but feel slightly bad for her.

  I crossed the hall, perched through the railing to look at the students down the stairs. They were in the main entrance, about to end the tour. Ms. Cherrinsy was the one giving the tour, and as it ended, she kindly shooed them out. The hall had been lightly dressed in christmas attire, and in the next room, tables were set up to prepare for the party the following Saturday. 

  “Xan, dear, please go ask Mex to help you with washing the table cloths. They were sitting in that attic for much too long!” Ms. Cherrinsy asked as she came in from the main entrance. Yes, I was named after the fateful princess, Xannia, but my trans ass changed it to Xan, a gender neutral name that I appreciated. “Sure.” I said reluctantly. I made my way upstairs, down the hall, and up another pair of stairs where the dormitories were. Mex was an extremely lively kid, my age, and she loved to explore the palace, for she was the great adventurer out of all the kids. 

 I knocked on the door of the second door down the hall. “Mex, help me bring down the tablecloths. We need to wash them, they're probably so dusty they don’t even look green.” I said. The door opened, and Mex, a pretty turquoise-haired kid came out looking drowsy but at the same time very ready to seize the day. 

  “Sup, sleepy head.” I smirked. “Xan, shut up. You haven’t just spent thirty-six hours shut up in your room running on caffeine! I have been writing christmas poems all night for the party.” She said, her eyes so wide I was surprised she wasn’t blinking. “I’m pretty sure you’re taking Cherrinsy’s request quite seriously. I bet the last thing she wants you to do is live off of caffeine for three days just to write some poems. Just work on a few.” I said, putting her arm around my shoulder so she wouldn’t limp. Mex was so dramatic.

  “When we get to the attic, I am not carrying you.” I said. “Alright. Fair. I wouldn’t want you to fall down the stairs for me.” She smirked. I smiled and rolled my eyes. We reached the attic ladder and I let her go. We made our way up the stairs, and found where the tablecloths were. As we collected them, Mex asked, “So. I hear you are inviting Marilla Baxter. Why the hell are you inviting her?” She asked. Mex was very blunt, and I appreciated it. 

  “Well, you know there has to be a plan behind it. You don’t think I would actually invite her? I hate her. She hates me.” I said. “Well of course you aren’t inviting her because she’s your friend, but why are you inviting her? What is your plan? Can I be included in this expedition? May I be behind the scenes? Can I be the murder-” I stopped her right there. “Whoa, ok, I was not planning to murder her, but yes, if I find you a part in this, I will gladly include you. All I am doing is inviting her ex-boyfriend to the party.” I said. “Wait, Maximus? The guy who’s dating Len? HAH, that’s gonna be great. I bet she doesn’t know?” Mex laughed.

 “No, she doesn’t know, she must think Maximus is moping around at home, all depressed after their break up. Nope, he’s dating a guy!” I smirked. “My plan is to get Max and Len to kiss in front of her, and then she’ll be shell-shocked, and then she can be even more miserable.”

  “Slick plan. Come on, we better hurry up. We’ve been up here for too long.” Mex hesitantly picked up a box of tablecloths. She hated the attic.

 We had cleaned the tablecloths, for they hadn’t been used in years. We set them up, for tomorrow was the day of the cookie exchange party, and I could hardly wait. As Saturday finally arrived, I had a spring in my step, for Marilla and the rest of the guests would arrive at seven o’ clock for the party. I knew this wasn’t the most exciting secret, not a plan that would be most impactful, but I wanted badly to see Marilla Baxter throw a fit. Who doesn’t want to see their enemy throw a fit? 

   Cherrinsy had had Len and Mesa (who were both very crafty with baking, for they were good at math and very careful, whereas me and Mex were extremely clumsy and couldn’t do fractions if our lives depended on it) had made all of the cookies, and everyone who was invited was to bring their own cookies to share. I knew that with all of those people bringing cookies, there would be no limit to how many we could eat. Everyone at the party would be able to stuff themselves silly.

  Mesa had gone to help Mrs. Cherrinsy bring the cookies out, and me and Len went to grab chairs. As we did so, the plan came up in conversation. “Mex tells me you're bringing Marilla Baxter. Why the hell are you doing that? That’s going to be plenty awkward for Max, and I thought you hated her.” Len looked at me funny as he asked, for he wasn’t aware of the action. “I invited her so we can watch her throw a fit in front of the whole population of teenagers from the village. And so we can have a good laugh.” I told Len. He looked confused.

  “Why would she throw a fit? She knows me and Max are together now.” He said. “What? How could she know? Who told her?” I was very frustrated now. If I hadn’t invited her, then she wouldn’t have come, and since she was coming, It wouldn’t be worth it. “I guess Max told her. I don’t recall him ever doing it, but he told me he did.” Len said. As we headed to the garage that was at the back of the grounds of the palace, I told Len my plan that I thought I could invite her to the party so she could be pleasantly surprised about seeing her ex. 

  Len thought that while the idea would no longer work, he thought it was a good effort to see failure in Marilla. But Len was wrong. My plan worked just as I hoped it would later that night. 

  Later, at six fifty seven, the first guests arrived. It was the neighbors who lived down the road, and they were always early for everything, for they were truly the most social out of all the neighboring properties. Mr. Jordan and Mrs. Leia were a young couple that had a mansion half the size of the palace, but they were extremely humble. We couldn’t seem to connect how they acquired such a mansion…

  More guests poured in, and finally Marilla Baxter stepped in with her stupid long blonde, wavy hair and her stupid low heels that made her look like a grown woman. I was sincerely disappointed, for I knew now that there was no reason to invite her. As she stepped in, she passed me. “Hello there, Xannia.” She said. I absolutely despised her. She dared use my deadname. “Ah, Mar Mar, I see you’ve made it.” I said with a devilish grin. She was the least of my worries, honestly. “Xannia, you’re lucky I even decided to come. I knew there would be a trick up your sleeve. But I’m surprised and quite lucky that there doesn’t seem to be one.” She said, and I wanted to punch her straight in the face. “Well, maybe those tricks have come to an end. We are all older and more mature now, aren’t we?” I said. “Sure. Yes, I suppose.” She walked off. I could tell that she noticed Maximus, but he wasn’t with Len, so I knew nothing would happen. 

  For a while, the party was very laid back, and Mrs. Leia walked straight up to me and Mex, and started chatting about some strange thing she was growing in her garden. “I have these beautiful Tiger Lilies, but unfortunately their season is almost over, so flies are swarming them, and they look disgusting. I had Jordy spray them with a fly killer, and that helped a bit-” me and Mex, trying not to be rude, kindly slipped out of the conversation. We made our way towards Marilla. She was chatting away with Roberto Hill, who was one of the volunteers who was working here. Marilla had at least three cookies in her hand, all of which were ginger snaps that Mesa had specialized in. 

  We made sure to be hidden, we knew she would verbally attack us the moment she saw us spying on her. We hid behind a pillar on the west wall of the room. She was chatting with Roberto about how she had just broken up with her boyfriend Maximus, and about how he was probably moping about at home. Interesting…

  Me and Mex made our way over to Len. He was chewing on a sugar cookie and was chatting with one of his friends with the village. “Len, we gotta talk.” I whispered. “Oh, talk to you in a second, Mary.” He said, and departed from their conversation. “Huh?” he said as he chewed the cookie. “Len, I don’t think Marilla has any idea about you and Max. She was talking about how sad she thinks he must be…” I told him. “Wait, so Max didn’t tell Marilla about you two?” Mex said. “He said he did… I mean, if he didn’t, I guess it would make sense, she’s kind of a bitch, and she would probably freak out and make a scene…” Len said. “Oh, Len, stop being so understanding.” Mex told him. “Ok, you have to kiss Max in front of her. Or we will never get the satisfaction of her suffering.” I said to Len. “Oh, alright, I suppose everyone knows except for Marilla, but I’ll do it.” he said. Me and Mex pumped our fists in satisfaction.

 Me and Mex, totally not expecting as we chatted and whispered by the cookie table, heard a scream. “Maximus, how could you not tell me! That’s so unfair! You shouldn’t be seriously dating someone a few months after a break up with a girl you’ve been dating for three years! THAT IS SO UNFAIR!! I WAS GETTING THE HINT THAT YOU STILL LOVED ME!” I heard from down the hall. In the main entrance in front of the main stairwell, Marilla was fuming over Maximus, who had his arm around Len’s shoulders. He looked attacked. Len was just trying not to look at Maximus with anger as well, for he had thought Max had told Marilla.

  “Marilla, whoever I date shouldn’t be a problem to you. We’re done. Over. We talked about this.” Max was trying to assure her. “Max, you told me that you had told her!” Len cut in. He threw Max’s arm off of his shoulder. “You said that you had had a healthy conversation that you are dating me now! You told me she wouldn’t freak out!” Len accused. I walked over and took Len by the shoulders. “Let’s go, man.” I said. 

  The night was mainly a success, but I felt bad for Len. Len was lied to, but in the end Maximus apologized, and they were all good. Marilla had left that night in a state of rage, and I didn’t see her for a while after that. I was more than excited that her reign as town bitch was still existent, but there were no more hurt feelings. After the cookie party, me and Mex and Mesa helped clean up, and I couldn’t help but think where Len was. I found him and Maximus on the balcony on the side of the dining room laughing and apologizing. 

  That night may have been quite the thrill, and I couldn’t wait for the next time. 

The End

December 09, 2020 18:31

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