Drowning Inside

What time do you call this, Maggie?

I know. I’m sorry. The traffic—

Don’t give me that. You’re never late. 

I had things to do.

Things? Like what?

Jimmy, don’t start.

What’s with the sunglasses?

They’re just sunglasses.

Take them off.

Jimmy, please.

Take. Them. Off.

Fine.

What the hell happened?

It’s nothing.

Damn it, who gave you the shiner?

Jimmy, leave it alone.

Was it Neal?

No.

Terry, then.

Jimmy—

It was, wasn’t it?

Fine. Yes. It was Terry.

That son of a— Why?

Jenkins! Keep your voice down. 

You don’t know about my problems, Sir.

We don’t want to hear about your private life, Jenkins.

I didn’t come here to fight, Jimmy.

Then why did you come?

Because we need to talk.

Talk about what?

Us.

Us? There is no “us” while I’m stuck in here.

You’re wrong. There’s still an “us”.

Doesn’t feel like it. You’ve been different lately.

How would you even know that?

I see it. The way you look at me, or don’t. The way you talk, or don’t.

I’m tired, Jimmy.

I bet you are, love.

It’s not easy by myself.

But you manage.

Barely.

What are you saying?

I’m saying I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.

Keep what up?

This… life. Alone.

You’re not alone.

That’s what it feels like.

You’ve got the kids.

They’re not you.

Then wait for me.

Wait? Jimmy, you’ve four more years.

So? You knew that when I got sentenced.

I didn’t know it would feel like this.

Feel like what?

Like I’m drowning inside.

You’re stronger than this, Maggie.

Maybe I’m not.

Don’t say that.

It’s the truth.

You’re just having a bad day.

It’s not just a day. It’s every day.

You want me to feel sorry for you?

Jimmy, don’t make this worse.

I’m not the one making it worse. Why did Terry hit you?

He thought… he thought I was cheating on you.

Cheating? With Neal?

That’s what he said.

Are you kidding me?

I didn’t do anything, Jimmy.

And Terry thought it was okay to hit you over a rumour?

It’s not just that.

Then what is it?

I don’t know. Maybe he thinks I owe him.

Owe him? For what?

For keeping an eye out for me and the kids.

That’s rich, coming from that piece of---.

Jenkins! I’m warning you---

Stay out of this, Sir!

I see your sort every day, Jenkins and hear how doing time affects families. 

You don’t know nothing about me and my brood, Boss.

Yes, but I know how kids drift with absent fathers.

When I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it.

Touch a nerve did I, Jenkins? 

Jimmy, stop! He’s not wrong.

What?

Bernie’s angry. Linda’s angry. They’re lost, Jimmy. 

It’s not like I abandoned them.

Maybe not, but you’re the one who took the fall.

I didn’t want you and the kids dragged into it.

I can’t do this on my own anymore.

Maggie don’t.

Don’t what? Tell you the truth?

Neal and Terry were supposed to have my back. Instead, they’re wrecking my family.

You wrecked it, Jimmy. When you got caught. Again.

You think I wanted that Post Office job to go sideways?

It didn’t just go sideways. It exploded.

I was the one who got burned, Maggie.

And the rest of us didn’t?

I did it for you.

You always say that.

I mean it.

And what about Linda?

What about her?

She’s in trouble at school, Jimmy.

Trouble?

She got caught smoking.

Not Linda?

Yes, Jimmy. Linda.

At least it wasn’t weed…

What makes you think that?

God damn it. Why didn’t you tell me?

And say what? That I can’t handle my own daughter?

Maybe I could’ve talked to her and told her---

From inside? How do you reckon that’d work out?

Linda listens to me.

She misses you, Jimmy.

I miss her too.

She’s angry. At me, at the world. Linda feels abandoned.

But I haven’t forgotten about her.

She doesn’t see it that way.

What am I supposed to do, Maggie?

Maybe you should’ve thought about that before taking on another job.

I didn’t plan for things to go wrong.

But they always do.

This was supposed to be my last job.

That’s what you said last time.

I mean it this time.

Linda doesn’t believe in you anymore.

Don’t say that.

It’s true. She was a Daddy’s girl and now…

She’s street-smart and---

And now she’s fallen in with a bad crowd.

I hate missing her grow up.

Then why do you keep ending up in here?

I don’t know.

Yes, you do.

It’s the life, Maggie.

Then change it.

You know it’s not easy.

It’s easier than losing your family.

You make it sound so simple, Maggie.

I’m serious, Jimmy. It’s your choice.

You’re giving up on “us”?

I’ll survive.

Without me?

Without Neal. Without Terry. Without all of this.

Give me a chance. I’ll fix it.

I don’t think you can.

I can. I will.

Jimmy—

Maggie, I swear to you. I’ll get out, and I’ll make it right.

How?

I’ll get out of the life. For you. For Linda.

I’ve heard it all before.

This time I mean it.

You better, Jimmy.

Maggie, there’s something else, isn’t there?

What do you mean?

The bruise, the sunglasses… you’ve been crying. There’s more.

It’s Bernie.

Bernie’s tough. He’ll be fine.

He wasn’t fine last night when he crashed his motorbike.

What hap---?

He’s in the West-Middlesex.

Why didn’t you tell me sooner?

You’ve enough to worry about.

But he’s my son, Maggie!

Your son? He barely talks about you.

What do you mean he---?

You two never got along.

That’s not true.

It is, Jimmy. He’s angry, just like Linda.

Is he going to be all right?

The doctors think so.

What happened?

He saw the bruise. He got angry. Went out on his bike to blow off steam and lost control.

Because of Terry?

Because of everything, Jimmy.

Maggie, I—

Don’t. Just stop.

I’ll make it right.

You keep saying that.

I mean it.

Then prove it.

Time’s up, people. Let’s be having you.

Maggie, please. Don’t give up on “us”.

You know I can’t promise that.

You can’t leave me now.

Goodbye, Jimmy.

I’ll change. 

We’ll see.

The End