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General

9:30 p.m.

Mom and Dad are away tonight. They have to go for some wedding. I was mercifully spared from accompanying them and babysitting my annoying cousins. They left after leaving some food on the table, with clear instructions to go to bed on time. I wish I could. But, sleep is something that has eluded me for as long as I can remember. In fact, I am called a night owl by my friends. Of course, I did not tell them why I couldn’t sleep.

My parents locked the door from outside, to avoid waking me up when they return. It is also a safe move. After all, with the events of burglaries in my area, they are bound to be paranoid. I keep assuring them that it is unnecessary, but they insist.

I am sitting on my couch, watching television. It’s a horror movie. The guy is in his house alone, watching television, when he suddenly hears a noise. He goes to investigate, but finds nothing. I always wonder why these protagonists want to investigate the dark. After all, can’t they understand that the darkness is not something to be trifled with?

10:00 p.m.

The movie is still going on. Now, the protagonist is convinced that there is someone in his house. The same jump-scares, same running footsteps. It’s so cliched! Don’t these scriptwriters find anything new to show? I can almost predict how this movie will end.

11:00 p.m.

The movie has reached its climax. Hell! It was amazing. Although it was like any other horror movies, with strange mirrors and warped reflections, I loved it! My bag of nachos is almost over. I have to go get some.

11:05 p.m.

Got some nachos, but what in the world was that sound? Is someone trying to open the lock? I just peered out the peephole, but I saw no one there.

11:10 p.m.

There was another sound. This time, it was the backdoor. Like someone was trying to force it open. I went outside my house and checked, but once again, there is no one. The door though, is wide open. I am scared.

11:15 p.m.

I am sitting in my room. There is definitely someone in my house. I don’t know who, but he is hiding somewhere. Before coming up after the movie, I heard someone running down the backstairs. This is not a post-horror visualization. I am confident about it. Also, the door to my parent’s room is unlocked, when they are very particular about locking it at night. I wonder what sort of game is going on. Is the movie turning into reality?

This is giving me a good excuse to stay awake. My doctors have prescribed several tablets to me, but none of them work. I feel sorry for them, they are trying their best. This has been going on right since childhood. Its not that I don’t sleep at all. I just need very few hours of sleep.

11:30 p.m.

I am wide awake, and the stairs in my house are creaking, like someone is walking . How in the world did they get in here? I called my parents, and they said that they would leave immediately. I have to prevent making noise. I don’t want whoever that person is to come up into my room.

11:40 p.m.

There was a huge crash in my parent’s room downstairs. I am curled up under my blanket. I did not expect this. Somebody is speaking downstairs. I don’t know what, but I definitely heard a voice.

11:42 p.m.

This is not good. There are police sirens sounding in my area, but I cannot do a damn thing . I don’t even know what’s going on. Some policeman is yelling to keep all the windows and doors closed. There is a serial killer by the name of 'The Slasher' had escaped from prison and was now on the loose. He had been sighted in our area. I wished I had known this beforehand. I would have closed the doors sooner.

11:50 p.m.

The policemen have left the area, and again somebody is moving downstairs. I can hear footsteps creaking up the stairs, and towards the guest rooms. My room is at the end of that very passage. I cannot contain my shivering.

12:00 a.m.

So, this person has been thoroughly checking the guest rooms. I have Googled the Slasher and found that he is a master at breaking through doors. Apparently, he is named so because of the way he cut his victims bodies. It was pretty gruesome. Some of the photographs nearly made me wretch. How can someone be so deranged?

Someone is approaching my room. I can hear their soft footsteps as they walk on the wooden floor of the passage. It is almost time.

12:05 a.m.

This person has been trying to open the lock to my room for the past two minutes. He is persistent, but he seems to know what he is doing. Once again, I text my parents. They said that it would take them fifteen more minutes to arrive. Luckily, I have a knife in my room.

12:07 a.m.

This person has entered my room now, and I am hiding in the adjacent bathroom, watching through the keyhole. He is tall, and has a mask over his face. The knife in his hands is almost as big as a butcher’s knife. I do not like this. How long before my parents get home?

12:08 a.m.

The masked man figured someone is in the bathroom, and he is desperately trying to break open the door. I have tried calling the police, but there is no signal. I did not want this to happen. I did not want anyone to see what I become at night.

Oh! Does it seem that I am scared? Yes of course I am! I am scared of what is going to happen to this man once he breaks in.I have never been known to sleep a lot. It isn’t because I like staying awake. It is because I must. I have to protect my parents against the forces that lurk at night. Because, I am the only one who can see and face them. Today would be like any other night, but this serial killer just messed it up for himself. My eyes are turning black. The door has broken open and I see the silhouette of a man through the bath curtains. He is walking towards me. But, he has no idea who the real hunter is.


April 07, 2020 14:55

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18 comments

Zilla Babbitt
15:13 Apr 17, 2020

Cool story! You asked for some feedback, so here goes: Nice tension building, and I like how you use the horror movie to make the reader ask questions about reality-- is this a movie happening in real life? In her mind? Who knows? I think the diary format is not the best for this story. I mean, who is writing in their diary as a serial killer is crashing around in the house? I think a normal short story format would work better. I also think if you built up other clues that the main character might be supernatural/the real hunter/the one...

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Manan Suraiya
15:15 Apr 17, 2020

Yes that is a good suggestion! I wanted to throw the readers off guard, so I added the punch in the last sentence. I wanted the diary to be like an evidence in case something happens to the main character. More like a narrative. But, short story format is definitely more suitable.

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Nice work! It was very intense, the middle of the story, and the mystery is very strong. I can feel the character's doubts, but the last sentence changes everything. She's scared, all right, but when it says "But, he has no idea who the real hunter is." and that is when she was determined. Nice ending! Enjoyed~ Edit- I can relate to those kinds of movies, the predictable ones, but later on it's still exciting. :)

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Manan Suraiya
09:00 Apr 17, 2020

Glad that you enjoyed it! This is my first submission, as I am new to reedsy! Actually, I wanted to create ambiguity regarding the main character- is she human or supernatural? That's why the last part :)

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Your first submission is great! Keep writing! The main character was ambiguous! I love how you made her like that ^^

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H E
12:38 Apr 17, 2020

That was such a twist ending. Wasn't expecting that!

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Manan Suraiya
14:27 Apr 17, 2020

Thank you! I always try to find a twist ending for anything I write :)

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Elliot Douglas
15:59 Apr 16, 2020

I love the ending! I got chills reading it. Excellent job with the buildup and climax, I loved it!

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Manan Suraiya
08:57 Apr 17, 2020

Thank you! Glad that you enjoyed it! This is my first submission so I am pretty new to this platform :)

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Zea Bowman
18:11 May 04, 2020

"I always wonder why these protagonists want to investigate the dark." EEEEEEEKK! This made me laugh so hard; it's true! I loved this story and how you decided to end it. Great ending...fills the remaining gap with suspense.

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Manan Suraiya
18:14 May 04, 2020

Thank you :). The protagonist question haunts me more than the movies haha

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Zea Bowman
18:18 May 04, 2020

😂

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Avani G
18:49 May 03, 2020

Hey, Manan! You had asked me for some advice, so here it goes: Nice tension building, I loved the suspense you included throughout this story - it gave me goosebumps! However, I had found that the story was a little bit, well, it wasn't formatted the best. Who writes when people are breaking into a house, if you know what I mean. But I do understand that this had to be written in the main character's point of view because this was a journal entry. But maybe next time, if you plan to re-write this, you can make it a third-person point of ...

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Manan Suraiya
18:53 May 03, 2020

Thank you! This ending wasn't rushed, I set it as a punch. There had to be a question about the main character's true nature. I purposely did not answer that. Yes, the diary format won't suit this, but that was the prompt. I'll edit it in 3rd person format haha. Stay safe! Its nice that a 10 year old is so mature in her writing! Kudos!

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Avani G
18:55 May 03, 2020

Thanks so much, Manan! Actually, after reading this over, I found out what the ending was meant to be, and I really loved it! Great job, Manan!

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11:34 Aug 12, 2020

Story started slow and as I drove through the lines it became Intense and as I read more and more I became curious to know how the protagonist would escape........and then, what a twist 😏

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Manan Suraiya
11:38 Aug 12, 2020

Hehe thanks!😁

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Felicity Anne
14:32 Oct 30, 2020

Manan, Wow!!!!! Wonderful, fantastic, incredible job! The diary format just kept me on my toes the whole time!!! The way you formatted it really set the mood. I had chills during the whole story! The ending was my favorite line! 'But, he has no idea who the real hunter is.' It's so good! As usual, amazing job! Have a splendiferous rest of your day and don't forget to keep writing! - Felicity

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