The Road to Yesterday.

 Journal entry  #35

    I have begun to lose my resolve. I have lost track of the days as I have moved camp several times, and the counts I etched into the walls were my only way of keeping track.  Each day becomes more complicated than the last, A fight to survive, a battle to stay afloat in the ruins of the old world.   

    The world didn’t end in fire or ice. It ended by our hand. As people began more unruly and began to fight each other over everything, the world and its economy began to fall apart as an unknown sickness swept across the earth. The mandates that were put into place made people upset and questioned everything.  They began to disobey openly, protest and eventually riot.  My life came to an end when people stormed into my house, took Derek away, and forced me out of my home barefoot and pregnant. They questioned me over a post I made online about how I thought we should go on vacation on a campground with limited entries if the guidelines put out there were followed. 

    They believed I was a radical, and this was what I wanted to happen. I fought tooth and nail to get them to understand and believe me, and eventually, they did, But  I never saw Derek again after that, and I wasn’t allowed to go back home. I ended up in a homeless shelter, but eventually, it was raided.  I snuck my way out and have been on the run since. I haven’t seen a cop or any public service form since the leaves fell from the trees. The only people that are left are the ones that know how to hide and the ones who are willing to do anything to be on top. The good people learn to survive alone, or they are captured and enslaved. Now all I know is that the weather and the day’s lengths tell me the season, and from there, I guess the month. 

 I have noticed recently, the air's bitter chill is dissipating with each passing day, so I assume spring is coming. The call of warmer weather brings me hope as I will leave and start to grow food somewhere. I have been collecting supplies for said occasion, seeds and plant food sticks. Mostly things that were small, light and easy to take with me. I have a car and gas to get to the countryside, but I was hoping for more time. 

   I've noticed raiders scoping out the area, and they seem to be eyeing the store. It is the biggest in the strip mall and has many things that can make make-shift weapons. I've already started packing and getting Eliana ready to move. I’ve been deciding on what to take, and it is difficult. I don’t have much, but I have to figure out what I will find once I find a place to settles and what I should bring. 

  As I was packing, I realized that I would most likely be done if I came into contact with other people. People would either help her or most likely sell her out to an organization for compensation.  My constant fear of people made me realize it's been an eternity since I've seen a friendly face or at least one I thought to be a familiar face.  Supplies are scarce now, and now that I have Eliana, everything has gotten more interesting. I'm on my own with my child.

    I am afraid of getting sick and not being able to take care of my daughter. I wear a mask when I leave my home, I regularly clean everything I touch, and I wash myself in a kids pool that I have set up in the bathroom and dump down the sink. Everything I find is cleaned and quarantined before use, and I still don’t think it’s good enough. 

    Eliana is a happy baby and is my rock through this whole thing. She is my world and has helped me keep up my spirits and try my ha hardest to find the best home. I talk to her a lot, and Eliana seems to understand, but I’m not sure if I’m making it all up in my head. She not too fussy, but I don’t put a mask on her. I have collected an abundance of baby cold medicine and baby sick care equipment just in case. I am ready to see my new life, and I will update you when the day comes. 

Pages of the journal are torn out, Some pages bits of the pages left, but they are smudged. Eliana has her first tooth and almost says her first words, but the rest is unintelligible. Derek stared at the pages and looked around the house. There was no dust and no webs. They were here somewhere; maybe the journal had a clue to where they went. He adjusted the mask on his face and sanitized his hands again. He felt sticky from his journey and knew he needed to bathe soon. He continued Reading. 

Journal entry #38

    I made it! I found a townhouse that is miles from the nearest neighbour and has a greenhouse. I found a patch of trees that will hide the car, and I left Eliana asleep in the car and checked out the house. It turns out the previous owner had gotten sick and, unfortunately, was no longer strong enough to care for himself and got stuck in the bathroom. Once I cleaned up after his unfortunate accident, I got to work cleaning out the bedroom. Once I felt it was clean enough, I wrapped Eliana up and brought her inside. She was set on staying asleep, which meant I could get more work down. I surrounded her with pillows and left her to sleep for a bit. The greenhouse still has live plants, they are a little wilted, but with some love and care, I can get them growing big and beautiful again. A few of the plants already had some peppers and beans growing. I picked a couple to snack on and made them into baby food for Eliana. 

Eliana didn’t like the peppers but loved the green beans, even more than many of the baby food I have found on my travels. The best part is that the farm has a well which I can pump water from underground; however, since the well can empty because it is more of a natural well, I’m learning how to conserve the water. It tastes a bit like sulphur and calcium, but after it boiled and dripped into bottles and chilled, it’s pretty good.    

    It’s strange to think how much the world has changed, and fear of disease is my new normal. But I have a few things that make me forget the rest of the world.  I have spent most of my day building a crib; it is much more complicated than I thought. But it’s almost done, and I feel proud of it. I’m also proud of my mothering skills as of late. This morning, when I was changing Eliana, she said, momma. She made many sounds lately and heard me talk about myself in the third person a lot as Momma. But I never thought she would pick the word up and call me it. It has made me beyond happy. I have a lot of hope for the future, and I hope to find Derek soon. 

    The front door opened to reveal a disgruntled-looking Sarah is hauling around a grown Eliana in a baby sling. Eliana looked to be a toddler now about three, and Derek realized how much time had passed and that Eliana wouldn’t even know who he was. “Momma, Man,” Eliana whispered, keeping her eyes locked on the man. Sarah looked up with a fire in her eyes that softened and filled with tears upon looking at Derek. 

    “That’s your Daddy, sweetie.” Sarah untied Eliana from the sling and set her on the floor, looking relieved to rid of the weight. Sarah then suddenly rushed Derek and knocked him to the ground with tears in her eyes. Derek patted her back and looked at Eliana, who stood there. She looked much too wise for a three-year-old. 

    They were going to have a fresh start, and it would be worth the wait. Derek felt tears slide down his cheeks. He was finally home.