The Wedding Party - Burnished Bronze - Chapter 5

Submitted into Contest #93 in response to: Set your story at a party that has gone horribly wrong.... view prompt

8 comments

Drama Fiction

Shelly - March 12, 2010 - 12:39 pm

The garment bag, which held my wedding dress, was slung over both arms. I kicked open the double swinging doors, walked through, and they swung shut behind me. I turned left to head to the elevator and was face to face with my ex-boyfriend’s friend. “Cayden? What are you doing here?”

Despite being over six feet tall, his green overalls hung on his body like someone wearing their older brother’s clothes. His brown hair was piled high on his head, like an exaggerated pompadour, but the sides were shaved almost bald. “Oh, hey Shell, just preparing the stage for tomorrow.”

I closed my eyes. “Don’t call me that.” I reopened my eyes and scowled at Cayden. “Since when do you work for Dawn and Eventide Events? I thought you worked for the senator?”

He shuffled his feet and scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, he fired me.”

“Why?”

He looked over his shoulder and then back to me. “Reasons.”

Dawn stepped out of the elevator. Her red dress flowed around her body. Her light brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Various strands had escaped their entrapment and traced over her face. She carried two large baby blue flower pots with maroon and pink roses intermingled with white calla lilies, with their heads peaking above the roses. “Ah, Cayden, here, help me with these.” She blew at some of the stray strands of hair and jerked her head to the side.

Cayden ran to her and grabbed the vases from her arms. His breathing was a little more labored than earlier. “Sorry Shell, I have to get these flowers to the stage, but we’ll catch up, yeah?”

I turned my body to Dawn and squared up to her. “Why in the world would you hire that dirt bag?”

“Hi Shell, are you ready for tomorrow?”

I tilted and squinted at Dawn. “Don’t hi Shell me. I really don’t like him being here the day before my wedding. Why is he working for you?”

Dawn brushed the flower petals from her dress. “I’m sorry Shell, it didn’t even occur to me. I forgot that he was, I mean is Jason’s friend. His dad asked me to get him a job so I did.”

I turned toward the doors which were no longer swinging from Cayden passing through. “Wait, he fired him and then found him a job? What did he do?”

Dawn shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t ask.” She grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face her again. She was wearing an oversized smile. “Forget about him. Your big day is tomorrow and I have everything exactly how you asked for it. Your wedding is going to be absolutely fantastic.”

She continued to rehash all of the wedding plans, which my step-mom and her had made, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Jason being this close to being involved with my wedding. I’ve spent too many years trying to forget him and him and his friends just keep popping back up in my life in one way or another.


Jim - March 12, 2010 - 1:58 pm

I stepped off of the black mirrored elevator as Shelly and Dawn were hugging. They kissed the air next to each other’s cheeks. Dawn relieved Shelly of her garment bag and walked into the reception hall. I caught up to Shelly and gave her a passionate kiss on her mouth. “I cannot believe I get to marry you tomorrow.” I stepped back and stared intently into her eyes.

Shelly’s cheeks darkened a half-shade of red. “I’m the lucky one James. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened in my life.” She shuffled her feet and placed her hand on her hip. “Did you know that that dirt bag Cayden is working for Dawn?”

“What?”

“Jason’s friend, Cayden, is right through those doors.”

I was shaking my head. “No, I heard what you said. I just can’t believe it. Why would Dawn even hire him? Besides, he works for the senator. Surely he doesn’t need more money.”

Shelly pursed her lips. “That’s what I said. Apparently he…”

The double doors behind Shelly slammed into the wall, Cayden shouldered between us and Dawn’s voice was on the edge of hysterics. “I swear Cayden, you will never work in this city again. I’m going to guarantee it.” Her voice was muffled by the double doors swinging back shut.

Cayden pushed the elevator call button in rapid succession as he looked left and right. His right cheek had the distinct hand print from where Dawn had slapped him. The double doors reopened as Dawn stomped straight toward Cayden. Both of her hands were balled into fists. “You’re not going anywhere loser. When the senator finds out…”

Cayden took a mad dash toward his right and in a few seconds disappeared down the corridor under the emergency exit sign. The door to the stairs slammed against the wall and then whooshed back into its frame. Dawn stopped stomping and held her hands on her knees. “I should have known better.” She looked up at Shelly. “Anyone who’s a friend of Jason is obviously a dirt bag. Why didn’t I learn that from what happened to you?”

Shelly shrugged her shoulders. “I’m sorry Dawn, but the bright side is that I doubt you will ever hear from him again.”

Dawn nodded her head and chuckled. “I believe you are correct. Hi Jim.”

“Hi Dawn. I would say it’s nice seeing you, but I guess you wouldn’t much appreciate it at the moment.”

She looked up at me confused. “Of course I would. It’s not your fault that I allowed the senator to talk me into hiring that jerk.” She stood up straight and put her hand on my elbow. “Shelly is lucky to have you.”

I grinned. “I’m the lucky one.”

Shelly grabbed my hand and laced her fingers with mine. “Maybe we’re both just blessed to have each other?”

I pulled her closer to me and hugged her. Then, I looked at Dawn. “Besides the jerk who just left, how’s everything else going?”

She sighed to settle herself. “It is nice to see you Jim. I promise you, tomorrow is going to be fantastic. Everything is going exactly as planned. I have to get back to work, now that I have to do it all myself. Almost everything is finished anyway, so I only have the last minute details to tie up.” She returned back into the room she had exited a minute before.

Shelly looked up into my eyes and sighed. “I’m so excited about tomorrow, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Seriously Jim, are you as nervous as I am?”

I bent my head toward her and kissed her on the mouth again and then squeezed her side. “Nah, it’s no big deal, we’re just getting married, what’s to be nervous about?” I chuckled. “I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

“Neither would I.”


Jim - March 13, 2010 - 2:37 pm

My mouth hung open while I shook my best man’s hand. “Excuse me Jaquin.” My father’s arms were interlocked with my mother’s. My father’s hair and beard were trimmed short, both of which were an unnatural black. My mother’s long curly blonde hair was streaked with white strands of greying locks. “Mom? Dad, you look great? You came together? Did you…are you…”

My mom’s eyes sparkled like miniature crystal balls with swirls of grey and gold clouds. “Your father stopped drinking and we’ve been working on restoring our marriage.”

My father’s head bobbed slowly up and down as he adjusted his purple tie. “Yeah, it was a long road, but I’ve been going to counseling and have spent the past five years making things right with your mother. She’s been nothing but wonderful to me.” His eyes seemed to glisten with tears. “I will spend the rest of my life making up for the trial I’ve put her through for the last fifteen years. She never deserved my irrational wrath and I never deserved her love and patience.”

I hugged my father. “I cannot even tell you how happy I am. Having you two here together and working things out is the best wedding gift I could ever receive.” I released my father and hugged my mother. “Thank you for giving Dad another chance. I cannot believe you guys kept this a secret from me.”

As we separated, she grabbed my hands. “We didn’t want to talk about it until we were sure. I’ve never loved anyone besides your father. He is a good man who endured a terrible tragedy.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. “I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am that we’re back together.” She stood back down and released my hands. My father’s smile matched her larger than life smile. She turned toward my dad. “Oh, there’s something else.

Should I tell him Frank, or would you like to?”

My father looked at me and then back at her. “You sure we should tell him?”

“Oh come on, one of you tell me.”

My mom laughed. “It’s not that big of a deal, really, it’s just…” She shook her head. “We’ve been in talks with the person who bought our home, and they’ve agreed to sell it back to us.”

It was just a house, but it was where I grew up, and I thought it a nice surprise. “Really?”

My father placed his hand on my shoulder. “The closing is in a few weeks and we’re planning a huge get together to celebrate your new marriage and your mother and mine restored marriage. I really hope you and your new wife can make it.”

“Of course. I mean, I have to talk to Shelly about it, but I can guarantee you that she will be ecstatic, there’s no way she’d say no to that.”

My mother grabbed my dad’s hand. “Ok, ok, we can talk more later, Jim here should probably talk to more of his guests. I bet everyone would love to talk to him before the ceremony starts, right Jim?”

“Yeah, probably. We’ll talk more after today. This day just keeps getting better.”

My mother winked at me. “Just wait until your Shelly comes out here. You’re not going to believe how beautiful she is.” Then she grabbed my dad’s hand and led him to their seats.


Shelly - March 13, 2010 - 3:16 pm

I stared at the reflection in the floor mirror. The veil looked simultaneously straight and crooked at the same time. “Nicole, can you help me with this thing?” I grabbed the edges of it and flung it upward. “I cannot seem to get it to hang right, or maybe I already have, I don’t know.”

My step-mom looked at me with her head cocked. Her bone straight light brown hair hung over her right eye. “Shell, you look absolutely stunning, there’s nothing wrong with your veil, or anything for that matter. I’ve never seen you look more beautiful than you do right now.” Her fingers played over my veil and hair as if they were straightening them out, but the touch was so light that nothing moved.

Dawn came strutting into the room and everyone else in the room gave the door a dirty look as if it was intruding on a secret coven. My step-mom stood in front of me with her hands held out to either side. Dawn’s half smile shared half of a joke that only half of her knew. “Jim’s standing at the altar. He’s waiting for you. Not that you have to go out now, it’s alright to make him wait a little.” She chuckled nervously.

I grabbed both of her hands. “Dawn, I’m so glad you’re here. Look at this veil, what’s wrong with it?”

She looked intently at me. “Honey, if you were any more beautiful than you are right now…oh who am I kidding. You couldn’t be any more beautiful. Everything is perfect, you’re perfect, Jim’s perfect, and the wedding’s going to be perfect. Now please, stop worrying. Nothing is wrong. Are you ready?”

I rose my hands up and placed my knuckles on my forehead as I closed my eyes and turned my head to the floor. “Ok, I believe you.”

My step-mom grabbed my hands for the fifteenth time in the past fifteen minutes. “Shell dear, what do we have to do to get you to trust us?

Someone behind me grasped my shoulders and turned me around to face them. My friend Tiffany’s brown eyes and boxed blonde hair were now in front of me. Her face was turned up to look questioningly at me. “Do you remember when I told you that Jason was a dirt bag and you shouldn’t be dating him?”

I frowned at her. “Why are you bringing that up now?”

“You didn’t believe any of us back then and how did that turn out for you?”

My frown deepened. “It didn’t turn out well at all.”

She smiled back at me and bore her too white and too straight teeth. “Exactly. So, are you going to believe us today?”

I smiled at her. “Ok. Fine. I trust you.”

She laughed. "Good"

My step-mom stepped around to the side of the room I was now facing. “Alright, so are you ready to go show your man how beautiful you are?”

Tiffany took off in the direction of the door and grabbed Dawn’s hand on the way. “Quick, before my charm starts to wear off, let’s tell them to start the music for Shelly to walk in.” They both walked out the door of my dressing room.


Jim - March 13, 2010 - 3:45 pm

The music stopped without warning and there was silence for a minute. Just as suddenly, the wedding march filled the silence. Jaquin, standing next to me bumped my elbow and winked. He whispered, “Alright Jim. Ready or not, it’s go time.”

Everyone’s heads turned toward the back of the room where red-headed toddler twins trod up the aisle. Purple flower petals flew from their hands and floated to the ground. The girl on the left stooped down and picked the petal that fell on her white shoe and her basket of petals spilled onto the ground. The other red-head twirled, threw her petals above her head, and they floated down around her. Laughter sprinkled the room for a few seconds before oohs and aahs filled the room as Shelly and her dad turned the corner. Her father’s face was drawn taught as every step he took was perfectly calculated. He reached the stage, lifted Shelly’s veil, grabbed her shoulders, and kissed her cheek.


Shelly - March 13, 2010 - 3:44 pm

My father grabbed my arm in his and patted my hand. “Shelly, you are beautiful. Jim is a very lucky man. Don’t you ever forget it.”

“I know Dad.” I grinned from one ear to the other.

The two red heads in front of us were digging in their baskets, spilling petals over their sides. The Wedding March began to play and Dawn bent down to them. “Alright darlings. Go.” She stood back up and the little girls started forward. Dawn turned to me and her face wore no smile. She whispered, “Ok Shelly. Your turn now.” Then she walked out of the back of the room.

As my dad and I made our way toward the stage. Most of the faces wore large and obvious smiles. The lady in the wide rimmed purple hat, with white flowers, wore one that was plastered with paste and wax. A man in a plaid tweed jacket and white tie wore one that was formed from his emotions pouring out of his face. My heart pounded relentlessly in my chest until I noticed my love standing on the stage, in his perfect grey tuxedo. The love in my heart was more pronounced in that moment than it had ever been before.

My father and I arrived at the stage, he lifted my veil, and whispered in my ear, “I love you Shelly. I’m sorry I don’t show it so well, but you know I do, right?”

I smiled at him. “Yeah Dad, I know.” I grabbed his hand and gave it a light squeeze.

A smile uncharacteristically pulled at the edge of his mouth, then he turned and took his seat.

The steps on the stage creaked in their metal fittings as I ascended each one. My Jim grabbed my hands in his and mouthed, “I love you so much.”

Pastor George Smalley’s grey hair lay across the top of his head, failing to hide his scalp. He addressed the witnesses of our ceremony without notes of any kind. He clasped and unclasped his hands many times throughout the ceremony. He led us in the recitation of our vows the same way, with practiced perfection. The rings were exchanged and he announced, “Mr. Freeman, you may kiss the bride.”

Jim leaned his face toward me and right before our lips touched the room to the left of the stage exploded. Jim and I both stumbled over our feet and fell to the stage. Fire and smoke billowed from the hole in the floor where the large planter had stood a moment before. The faces of everyone in the room were open in screams, but the only sound I heard was the ringing in my ears.

May 15, 2021 01:53

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8 comments

Cathryn V
23:20 May 20, 2021

Hi Clinton, This was a cliffhanger for sure. The tension built with each segment. I liked the red-headed flower girls (so true to life) and the bride's worries about a crooked veil. I like the back and forth with POV and time stamps. Shelly's wish to not be called Shell is repeatedly ignored, which is another clever way that you've increased tension for the reader. In terms of critique, I noticed that there are some extra unnecessary words that tend to water down a story's tension. **Almost everything is finished anyway, so I only have t...

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04:11 May 21, 2021

Thank you so much for reading y story and talking the time to comment. I absolutely love that you didn’t just “walk on by”. And, thank you for your critique, you’re 💯 correct, those sentences would have been much better the way you suggested! 💗💗💗

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Cathryn V
05:22 May 21, 2021

You’re most welcome! To me, sharing critique is the best part about this site. By the way, I reread my note to you. and see that I used some “extra unnecessary “ words myself! Lol.

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J. Storbakken
23:19 May 18, 2021

I enjoyed this read- your prose and style- very much so.

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23:47 May 18, 2021

Wow! Thank you so much! These kinds of comments mean the world to me! 💗

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03:15 May 15, 2021

What a cliffhanger! I was literally sitting on the edge of my seat the whole time! There are so many great sentences in this story. I was reading rapidly towards the end of 'The Wedding Party' because I really wanted to know what would happen. Great job! I hope you write a follow-up story because I'm hoping that's not how 'The Wedding Party' ends. This was fantastic! You instilled a plethora of questions in my mind through your writing. I wanted to know more about the characters. Why is Jason considered a jerk? What did Cayden do to make Daw...

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03:33 May 15, 2021

I cannot thank you enough for sharing your thoughts with me. I am very excited that you enjoyed this story. It is actually a work in progress that's building upon itself piece by piece. Whenever a prompt fits the story line, I write a little more of the history of Jim & Shelly. I am planning on making it a novel and I'm about 15% done. I have a follow up story, that's actually my first story I posted on here, and it's called Burnished Bronze. House of Shadows is the first chapter, which is last week's writing prompt. I have the stories liste...

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06:19 May 15, 2021

My pleasure! I'll be sure to check your bio out again! I can't wait! Till next time! Ruthy_May

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