Stay

One gloomy night while we're lying on a sofa. Curious of why my half sister keep this young woman. I questioned Din.

"Why do you love me? Is it because of my money?" She pursed her lips but eyes were smiling and crinkled her forehead, "is it because I’m beautiful?"

"Yeah." Answering me with a tease, she burst a giggle.

I became serious and she saw that as half of my body is on top of her, facing each other.

"Are you mad?" her eyebrows creased seeing my facial reaction.

"No." I change the direction of my eyes. I lied and my doubt on her rise again.

She continue talking while she softly touching my hair and clip it on the back of my ear.

Strand by strand.

"You always save me. In my worst situation, you save me,” caressing my cheeks then my lips, "in my crying times, you lend a shoulder. In my lonely days, you sit with me," flashing a wide smile while she continue caressing my face down to my chin back to my lips.

So my sister did those things to this girl. She's no special. Very simple and kind of a boring personality, I think. But I need to take care of her because of my sister’s wish. It's not that I don't like her but I don’t like the idea that my sister is living with a stranger. They just met in a convenience store and then she let this girl live here in my dad’s house.

This girl who she refers as her 'baby'. I thought she adopt a child but I was surprised to know that the baby she wants me to take care of is her sugar baby. Her female cub.

That means, my sister is a sugar mommy, a cougar. And because we arenlook-a-like, I’m taking her place to pretend I’m her. Though my sister is four years older than me.

Argh. She's making it hard for me. Coming home to this girl pretending I am her. It’s a secret that I was forced to agree because she’s sick and that’s one of her wish. The thing is, I don’t know how long I can last. My only intention is to claim this house. I have a stable online business. With my own earnings. I can travel anywhere and I make money in travelling, too, by monetizing my photos and videos. I can afford to buy my own but I have good memories with this house and I can’t believe my sister wants to give it to this stranger she just met. As her only family, I should be the one inherit it.

I don’t know what’s gotten into her mind. Maybe this lady have some kind of voodoo magic. That’s what I heard from people living in small Asian countries like the Philippines.

As I clean the house.

"What is this?" I was devastated of what I saw. These are expensive adult stuff. These rope are a good quality with soft texture, and the belt it's a genuine leather.

"You haven't touched that for a while," a voice suddenly appear at my back.

"Oh geez. You startled me,” closing my eyes tightly for a second and puff. “I, uhm, busy lately." constantly lying is my new talent the moment I entered this situation.

"Is it hard?" she stares with wet eyes.

"Huh? Hard? What?" I look for a second then continue checking the stuff as if I do kot understand what she's talking.

"Pretending." I stopped placing the objects in a box. My heart is pounding. That's it. She knows. She's not dumb at all.

"How do you know that I'm not her, that I'm not my sister? Is it because of the sex?"

She nod, "specially, when we're near. It's different. I mean, the way you talk to me, the way you touch me, it’s very different," bowing her head and looking on the floor like a shy child. "I felt like there's a barrier between me and you. I don't feel that to Cate. She always give her all whenever we're alone. Besides, your scent and breath is different,” she continues while biting her lip in every word she said.

My mouth left open of what I heard. She amazed me that she knows even the little detail about my sister.

“I want to see her.” Tears fell from her eyes.

I suddenly felt that I wanted to embrace her, to console her like what my sister usually do. But I’m not my sister. Instead, I stare while watching her cry. Silently crying like a baby. I felt my eyes burning.

I hold her hand, “Okay.”

At the hospital.

“You’re early,” greeted by a pale voice. My sister is growing weaker and weaker everyday I visit.

“She’s here,” a whisper, like I am the only one who can hear.

“Who? She…”

Stopped by the presence of her girl. She saw Din appeared at the door. My sister’s eyes narrowed at me.

“What? I didn’t tell her. She knows,” raising my hands up.

Cate sigh deeply. “What are you doing there at the door. Come here.” Waiving her hand at Din to come inside.

“Are you not mad?” Din bites her finger nails and when she saw my sister smile widely she ran and jump onto her. They kiss and hug as if there’s no other person inside the hospital room.

“Wow. You’re mad at me but not to her.” They stopped and look in my direction.

“Because you’re not a good secret keeper,” they both giggle and I rolled my eyes.

I watched them talk. Looking at them I felt warm inside my chest. A different warm. Din never parted with my sister from the moment we came and they constantly kiss and hug every minute. I feel irritated so I left them and went to a cafeteria.

Why I suddenly felt this way? It’s like I’m… jealous? No. I’m not like my sister. Am I not?

I never felt this feeling before. It’s so strong that It’s eating me alive, like a lava exploding inside my chest. Is this the reason why I’m still single? Is this sexuality inherited? But my parents are straight. Only my sister is not. Well, I may not know because we have a different mother. I’m already on my early 40s. I had a lot of exes, male exes and I was never attracted to girls. But those relationships lack of meaning.

I stayed for a couple of hours. It’s a good thing I have my laptop with me. I busied myself by answering emails.

“Hi,” waving her hand.

“Why are you here. You shouldn’t left her alone.” Not looking at Din who sits in front of me.

“She’s sleeping.” Her tone of voice is lonely.

I sighed and offer her a drink.

After her first sip with her cappuccino, “I will sign the papers.”

“This is not the right time to talk about it,” shifting my eyes on her with fierce.

“I’m sorry," biting her nail, scared like a cat. "I just want to let you know.”

She left afterward.

I don’t know her reason but I’m thankful she didn’t fight with it.

Now that the secret reveals. I decided to rent a room near the hospital so I can take care of my sister and to stay away with Din also.

Everyday, Cate tells me how she and Din liked each other. The more she talked about that girl, the more I get irritated.

“Imagine she kiss my finger nails one by one and sometimes she caress my…”

“We made love,” I cut off her speech.

I saw her sudden sadness.

“Are you not going home?” My sister’s voice cracked. “Could you please bring her to me?”

I nod and the room become silent. Not knowing that would be her last request.

~•~

My condolences.

Words I heard for the rest of the day. Din is always at the kitchen. I give her glances she didn’t know.

It’s all your fault, sis. You tell good stories about her. You’re always telling me what a great person she is. You make me fall in love with her.

A warm hand reach mine.

“Cass. I’m going back to my friend’s house. The last guest has already left. Do you need anything else before I leave?” Din asked eyes staring at the floor.

I swallowed hard first. “Stay.”