Tree

“We are so dead.”

“Oh lighten up will you. We had fun right?”

“My Dad is so going to kill me.”

“Oh please, the damage will buff right out.”

“I don’t think the whole front of the truck being smashed against a tree is something that will buff right out Hester.”

“You just aren’t trying hard enough. The crash was pretty fun huh?”

“You trashed my Dad’s truck.”

“Well I had fun.”

“How can you even think about doing your makeup at a time like this?”

“Would you lighten up Sammy? Town is not too far from here.”

“Okay I’m going to ignore you.”

“And where do you think you are going?”

“I’m looking for a pay phone. Are you going to help me or not? There’s got to be one around here.”

“Do you really think you’d find a pay phone in no where’s Nebraska?”

“Oh my god Hester shut up. Do you even know where we are?”

“Now that you mention it…?”

“Were you even paying attention to the road signs?”

“I’m drunk Sammy. I am drunk.”

“I can’t believe this. Stranded in the middle of nowhere with Culver High’s most likely to be airheaded.”

“You agreed to come along Sammy girl.”

“Yeah but… it was just supposed to be to Sid’s Party?”

“And we got to that party remember? I seem to recall you sidling up to a certain special someone eh?

“Yeah.”

“You remember how much fun that was?”

“Sure.”

“Yeah and remember hooking up with him. You were practically fused to him right.”

“Right.”

“See, you got to look on the bright side sometimes.”

“My Dad’s truck is still wrecked.”

“Yep.”

“Wrecked. In a tree.”

“Sure is.”

“Wrecked in a tree that spontaneously appeared in front of us in the middle of the road.”

“Ten four Sammy girl.”

“How is there any kind of bright side here?”

“Well if you just shut up and find that precious pay phone of yours maybe you would find that bright side.”

“Do you see any pay phone’s here?”

“Mwa, done. Check out my lipstick. Looking good, good looking.”

“It’s like I’m talking to a brick. That's what it is like talking to you.”

“Yeah well that is your decision.”

“I’m going to talk to this tree. Maybe it will magically sprout a pay phone like how it magically sprouted in front of us.”

“Have fun. I’m going to check the trunk, I’m a little hungry.”

“I am going to scream. Hello there tree. I don’t suppose you will just spontaneously spawn a pay phone like I just said.”

“Afraid not ma’am.”

“Yeah I thought so.”

“Sorry. I am just not that kind of tree.”

“Can you believe Hester? She is so irresponsible.”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had a human friend before.”

“Am I… really talking to a tree?”

“I don’t know am I really talking to a human?”

“Um Hester… can you come here please?”

“Audibly crunching a crunch bar. Yeah what is it?”

“Does this tree talk or am I just crazy?”

“Well I mean a tree can have a name too. No one’s bothered to name me you see.”

“Ha. Ha. It is a talking tree. How lame.”

“You can hear it too?”

“I am not lame. At least I don’t think I am. I was just born this morning you see.”

“Pick your jaw up off the ground. You did say something about magic Sammy girl. Well here it is a talking tree.”

“I identify as a he personally but okay.”

“H-how many drugs did I take last night?”

“It was the whole bag. That is why I turned to strong drink.”

“Oh my god Hester I’m freaking out. I just touched it. I just touched a talking tree. Hester oh my god.”

“Uh Sammy you are getting a little red there.”

“She looks bluer to me. But I don’t have a concept for colors.”

“This is so messed up. My Dad is going to kill me for trashing his truck we are lost in the middle of nowhere I can’t find a payphone I took so many drugs and I don’t have a grasp on reality I’m losing my grasp on reality and I can’t breathe.”

“Yeah you might want to sit down little lady. You may be having a panic attack.”

“You think so you tree thing?”

“Sit down with me Sammy. Take a deep breath. And repeat with me.”

“In through the nose…”

“… Out through the mouth.”

“Repeat.”

“Guh…”

“Do you feel any better?”

“I-I want to go home.”

“Hey Sammy look at me. Take a deep breath. We will get home. That is a promise.”

“We are so far away.”

“I know. I know what will cheer you up. Let’s go find that pay phone. How does that sound?”

“That sounds… I, I think I would like that.”

“Yeah let’s go. I’m sure we’ll find a pay phone.”

“Yeah there has to be one. There has to be one on a road this long and aimless. I’ll get our bags from the truck.”

“You do that.”

“There’s a pay phone and a town not too far from here. You could get a mechanic to fix your truck.”

“That should cheer her up. Thanks talking tree.”

“Ha well you know. I do my best to give sound advice.”

“You do need a name. I got one for you.”

“You do? Wow I have never been named before.”

“What do you think about Trent? Does that ripple your leaves? Excite your photosynthesis or whatever?”

“Oh wow, I’ve always wanted to be a Trent. I don’t even know what a Trent is. Thank you.”

“Well you know Trent; it’s Hester to the rescue.”

“I’m back. I got everything.”

“Including the booze?”

“You know it.”

“There’s the Sammy I know. Listen a town is super close. We’ll be back on the road in no time once we find a mechanic.”

“And back home?”

“Yeah. That’s my promise. You know I always keep my promises.”

“You try to at least.”

“And what does that mean?”

“Nothing. Thanks Hester. Let’s go.”

“So long Trent. Nice talking to you.”

“Who are you talking to Hester?”

“Hmm, huh, no idea. Well I guess that calls for another drink.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

“Audible clink.”