One Giant Leap

The anxiety I was feeling was palpable. Sweat skid down from my forehead down on my neck. For some reason, I was hyperventilating. My anticipation was high for this expedition. I took in long deep breaths to try to get my act together. From left to right, I could see push buttons blinking in diverse colours of the spectrum. The navigation panel had many push buttons radiating different colour codes.

Radio chatter spewed from my comrade's earpiece, who happens to be Blair, the captain pioneering this vessel. I gazed upon the reinforced windscreen plastered with an ultraviolet array of yellow and orange. The splendour was fantastic as always. But at this moment, my nerves were too high to take in the beauty.

Blair flips on and off switches rhythmically, portraying his prowess in handling this beast of a metal chunk. The countdown continues:

"Liftoff in 10, 9, 8,7…….."

I rendered my eyes shut when the countdown hit one. I felt an overwhelming invisible force press my entire body on my seat. It paralyzed me as the horizon of blue sky with minimal cloud coverage came into view, drawing ever closer to it.

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But let us not ahead of ourselves. For a moment, this was a dream that I had multiple times over the years. Ever since the moon landing of 1969. A fascination for space grew exponentially, super speeding our curiosity for our planet Earth. Ever since I was young, I considered myself not of this world but a being who happened to drop from this Earth at infancy only to be adopted and raised by my family. At least, that is what I wish would have happened.

But numerous embarrassing photoshoots of my birth and infancy proved me none the wiser. Only a person wishing on a reality that never was, nor will ever be. I was baptized and given the name: Nathan Applebaum, the last born in my family and not a highly gifted individual. At best, I was average, just like any other typical 20-year-old teen.

I recently graduated from high school and decided to take a sabbatical. My parents thought it foolish. They saw it best to get through with studies the fastest time possible. But being quick-witted, I made a remark that demolished their stand:

"A youthful life engrained continuously in books is no life."

I wanted to undo what these couple of years of tests, exams, school clubs, assemblies, and early mornings had done. It was time to let loose and not have a care in the world: go on a party rave for an endless 72 hours, binge watch my favourite series from start to finish at a go. Tour the world. So much happened within these four years. 

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I can clearly remember the dread I felt when I walked in and witnessed the glowing marbled floor surrounded by stacks of lockers stretching the entire length of the hallway. But things were not as bad as I thought they would be.

I quickly made friends with Jack and Rory. Our union forged not of blood but years of planning mischief, been wingmen to each other, partying crazy and many sleepovers. We weren't very similar in character.

I wished that our friendship would last forever, but things don't always work out. Rory was talented both on the football field and in academics. He broke the stereotype that all jocks are dumb with nothing to plan for in their lives, apart from their football career. But Rory had a plan. He was great with numbers and understood the market, stocks, shares, and other business management principles. When it came to money-generating projects, he was the go-to guy. Jack would streamline businesses and take them out of debt.

A perfect example is the famous old renowned fast food restaurant Gibby's: the town's pride since its opening debut. Many families maintained a loyal customer base from generation to generation. Parents would pass it on to their children as a birthright, never forsaking it. However, in recent years customers dwindled in numbers. Numerous complaints streamed in from unsatisfied customers. Initially, the restaurant seemed to have a gaping hole in its financial pockets that saw revenue decline despite its large customer base.

Sooner rather than later, finances were lacking in doing regular repairs and maintenance. As a result, Gibby's slowly decayed, becoming a shadow of its former self. 50-year-old Rogers, who was the sole proprietor, felt embarrassed and disappointed. As a young boy, his father raised him within the same restaurant currently facing a 'Notice of Closure'. Apparently, the dilapidated cookware was unimpressionable to the health inspectors.

Mr Rogers, having known Rory through the years as a frequent customer, called him to review the business financial papers. It took Rory 48 hours to go over the stacks of financial paperwork to find the problem. Someone had been channelling considerable sums of money to subsidiary accounts under Mr Rogers name. When Rogers heard of this, he was shocked. He had no clue of any subsidiary account or ever releasing finances to such them.

The culprit was none other than Roger's financial manager, who had teamed up with a couple of ex-employees to rob him of his earned cash. The revelation was quite shocking but offered relief. Last I heard, the ex-employees turned on the financial manager leaving him to deal with the court. But at least, Gibby's is rising again. And like many, who doesn't like a comeback.

Rory was a star both to his teammates and the teachers. He was the perfect example of a role model—the desire of every parent towards their child. And also, girls were just mesmerized by him. They would always go wild with cheers every time he would play on the field. Of course, this sparked envy amongst many, but for Rory, he never did mind. Unfortunately, his team was not fond of Jack and me, his two closest friends. From time to time, I occasionally would hear the teasing and jokes spoken in the locker room, especially about Jack and me.

We never minded the fact that Rory wasn't defensive of us. But then rumours started going around about how Rory would diss Jack and me after football practice, which sparked my suspicions, and I wanted to confront him. But Rory would brush it off:

"That's how team spirit is built, mehn. Don't get too worked up over nuth'ng."

Unfortunately, this was not the end of it. Rumours continued, but this time it involved secrets that I told Rory in confidence. Heart-breaking stuff. I felt betrayed and enraged. One particular rumour involved my secret crush for Maggie, who was head cheerleader. Students labelled me a loner freakshow who thought I was way over my head to think she would date me. 

I confronted Rory at a Friday night house party. I had planned everything out and wanted to give him a piece of my mind. And also knock a few teeth out along the way. But I was shocked to find Rory and Maggie kissing while seated on the couch.

'That scum.'

After what felt like an eternity, Rory glanced in my direction. I was heaving, shaking with rage. I punched him across his face before he could say a word, and Rory landed on the ground. Before I knew it, a band of jocks held me and dragged me out. It must have been the adrenaline cause it took five of them to push me out.

'Beat it, loser. I don't remember you been invited.' 

Ever since then, Maggie and Rory became a couple. The whole school were happy for the two. But all I felt was the bitter, burning bile rise from my stomach. It gave me a feeling of disgust and disappointment.

For some reason, Rory ignored Jack as well. He was done with us, the moribund of loser nerds—our new nickname. There is only so much I could bear, but the fact that Rory took this abrupt stand against us made me angry. Every time I could come across Rory and Maggie in the hallway, I would wince and writhe in anger. Rory had changed drastically with no clue why.

His persona changed. One time I saw him from across the hallway. He seemed odd and had red eyes. Upon passing him, I smelled a hint of weed. He started doing drugs. Eventually, things took a turn for the worse. He began to fail his classes. His attendance was minimal to none. He even started missing out on football practice.

He faced backlash from the school, which almost made me want to shout out that he deserved it. But deep down, I felt the exact opposite. I was sad at how far gone he was from his plans. His relationship with Maggie also took a turn for the worse. Maggie had cheated on him multiple times while he went on his trippy escapades. Unfortunately, Rory turned into an overprotective, possessive and paranoid boyfriend. The whole fiasco was a dent in the school's image when police arrested Rory for assault despite the school trying to suppress the incident. Eventually, Rory had sealed his fate. But it seemed Maggie was having life easy for her. In less than two weeks, she was giggling off in the arms of another jock. Wonder how long that will last?

During my first years of high school, I was as casual. I didn't have a plan for my life. All I knew is that I wanted fame and money. But I was not too keen on virtues such as commitment and hard work, evidenced by my scorecards and constant meetings with the principal and my parents. At first, I thought of following Rory's path. What was the point of life anyway?

All these books and I could be hanging out in some shack getting my mind doped and high, having no care, exploring nature and humanity. The connection rooted in us that yearns for a deep connection. A metaphysical conversion of man and nature, becoming one with the surroundings. Jack was stunned to hear all this. And after a brief period of dumbfoundedness, he cracked up in so much laughter that his face turned red with tears trickling down his face.

At that moment, I felt stupid and angry. The one friend I had remaining laughed in my face. I almost felt like punching him and went home fuming. I decided to share the same story with my parents. They did not laugh, but they poked holes in my plans until I realized the utter stupidity of my flawed scheme. While I was alone, I smirked and laughed at myself for even considering it.

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After graduation, Jack had an intriguing idea for me. He approached me, looking excited:

'I got a great idea that you can't refuse. Meet me at my place tomorrow.'

That entire night my mind was flooded with thoughts trying to crack what it could be. I held my phone temporary, and the screen light up, showing the time 2:40 a.m. I thought of texting or calling Jack. But after thinking twice, I knew it would be fruitless. Jack enjoys the thrill of keeping people in suspense. I believe he finds it amusing for him. Unfortunately for us on the receiving end, it's torture. One time, he kept me in anticipation for an entire two weeks. Jack had some critical information he wanted to share, but there was no cracking him. His mouth was a fortified fortress. No amount of tricks could let him slip up unless it was according to his terms. 

On Saturday afternoon, I made it to his house. I knocked on the door once, and there he was standing brimming with excitement.

"Finally, you made it. Not a minute to spare, any second later, and I would have come over at your home and called you out with a megaphone."

He did it once at 6 a.m. one Saturday morning. The neighbours were not pleased.

"you know how you always had this dream of going to space." 

''Yeah..so what does that have to do with me been here?''

''Relax. All will be revealed in good time.''

After five minutes of waiting, having emptied three glasses of orange juice and a plate of delicious meat pie. In came a taller middle-aged man of slight build wearing a sleeveless pullover, checked shirt and brown khaki trousers.

"Hello, you must be Nathan. My name is Mr Cross. Jack's uncle. Jack sure has told me much about you?"

"Pleasure……can you tell me what he's planning? This couple of days been crazy trying to figure everything out."

''Hahaha…so he does that to you also. Thought you got used to it.''

''He always finds a way to up his games.''

Mr Cross' decorum changed instantly from casual and laughable to a straight-faced expression:

'' Anyways, so let me break the ice for you on the whole situation.

Jack mentioned your love for space travel. Now a couple of civilians have been enrolled on tour to the space station. I wanted Jack to come along, but he offered his place to you.''

''Wait, what do you mean?'' I remarked.

''Well, I see you two have gotten acquainted.'' Jack interrupted.

''Jack, this is a great opportunity, but I am not sure if this is my thing..... I mean, I had a fantasy as a child, but it doesn't mean anything.''

"Look, just think it over. I'll give you till Monday to hear your response,'' said Jack in an authoritarian tone.

''I don't think it will make any difference. It's not something I have envisioned myself doing.''

''Oh blah blah blah. Could you spare me the explanation? No answer till Monday, okay. For now, sit your self down, grab a pad. Let me destroy you in Call of Duty.'' said Jack as he turned on the game console and picked the gamepad.

"Oh, it's on."

Later on a Sunday night, I had the recurring dream again. The one I had as a child. Our landing craft had just entered Mars' atmosphere. We slowly but steadily decelerated and landed. Outside, our eyes caught the view of the hills of red sand that topped the landscape. The horizon was ravaged with moderate to fast winds blowing up a dust storm. But after what seemed like a matter of seconds, the horizon was calm. I remember being in a spacesuit, opening the hatchet and sliding down the ladder. I remember stepping down from the ladder, placing my first step on Martian land. But a familiar voice spoke over my earpiece. It was mum's voice calling me. She said something I could not comprehend; then her voice came again. This time I opened my eyes, awaking to the sight of mum standing across my bed.

"Honey, I need you to pick up dad's suit and groceries for me. I have to go to work. Breakfast in the microwave."

Before I was fully oriented, she had already left and was climbing down the stairs. When reality hit, I felt great disappointment that it was all a dream.

Why did it have to be a dream? Why couldn't it be real?

He remembered the tour and wondered: 

Well, there is nothing wrong with touring the station.

On Wednesday at dawn, I was seated on a bus with other civilians on board. For such an early morning, there was so much energy and anticipation. After been cleared, we toured the site. The activity within the station was buzzing. Engineers at work with their equipment. The enormous structures: towering over the hollow hangar that resembles a colossal manufacturing warehouse. The gallery display of astronauts placed on the walls. But the most fun I had was when we entered the Enhanced Zero-gravity Locomotion Simulator, which happened to be my best experience. 

I felt weightless, like a bird floating about in the air. No, this was way better, no force to pull me down. I could swim, fly or jump my way in any direction. It was thrilling. For some, it wasn't easy to adjust to zero gravity reality. It felt natural to me like I was born to do this: spend my life in this environment. That day truly changed the course of my life. I came out knowing full well what I wanted to do. 

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A couple of years later, I dawned on my spacesuit then reached out for my space helmet. All the hard work and sacrifice all these years led to this moment. A few years back, I came and witnessed the space rocket, an enormous structure that is the means to take me to my destination: outer space. As I joined my fellow crew members, we walked towards the elevator majestically, ready to conquer space.