MY PREFERRED PRONOUNS

As a young child, Harvey Hickock tended to gravitate towards what one might consider feminine activities. For example, he preferred to play with dolls and flowers rather than the military figures, tanks and building blocks that were his older brother’s fascination. As a teenager, Harvey seemed to be more comfortable around girls, but only in a platonic sense. He did not seem to desire them the way his classmates did.

Therefore, it was no surprise to anyone when Harvey announced that he identified as a woman.

Feeling deep down that he would always be more comfortable living as a woman, he decided to pursue transgenderism.

The first steps in his transition were to don a wig and wear a dress. Despite the incongruity in his appearance, Harvey enjoyed the new look. Observers saw him as a man wearing women’s clothes, but he scanned a mirror and saw a young woman peering back.

As part of his transition, he initially insisted on being referred to as “she,” despite the awkwardness it foisted on everyone around him. To further the transition, he (she) decided to assign him/herself a new set of pronouns. From here on, he/she was to be addressed as “they or them.” In addition, they decided to change their name from Harvey to Harriet.

Feeling a bit alone in their new life, Harriet decided to join a transgender club, where they met others going through a similar journey. They were very happy to make the acquaintance of Cindy (formerly Sidney) and Melinda (formerly Melvin). Cindy was not a traditional transgender, but a two-spirit non-binary gender-fluid waif, whereas Melinda was a gender-expansive intersex tri-sexual queer. Melinda enjoyed greeting people with the salutation, “Hi, I’m tri-sexual. I’ll try anything.”

Then the issue of preferred pronouns arose. Cindy’s preferred pronouns were yo and ye. Melinda’s preferred pronouns were hir (pronounced “here”) and xyr (pronounced “zheer”).

The three ladies enjoyed going to the clubs and bars together, where they could meet others of a similar bent. This particular night, the happy triumvirate hit a lovely hangout where they were able to sit, order drinks, have a snack and talk the night away.

The drinks arrived, and Harriet opened the conversation. They asked Cindy about ye’s transition into transgenderism.

Cindy explained that when yo was a child, yo always felt more feminine than masculine. Yo somehow always knew yo was different.

Melinda jumped in. “When I was a child, my brother loved playing with building blocks and wrestling with my Dad. I never took to that. He always seemed like a boy, whereas I felt more like a woman.”

Just then, two friends shimmied up to the table and joined in.

“Hi, I’m Brianna. My pronouns are per and plu. This is Zoe. Her pronouns are ved and vik.”

Harriet greeted the two with charm. “Hello, Brianna and Zoe. Can we order additional drinks for you?”

Brianna responded, “Yes, definitely. What is yo having? It looks good.”

Harriet answered, “Yo is having a margarita. Hir is having a mojito.” Brianna remarked, “OK, I’ll have what yo is having.”

“And how about you, Zoe?”

Zoe perked up, “I think I’ll have what they ordered.”

Zoe then asked Harriet, “Harriet, are you from around here?”

Harriet answered, “Well, no, I’m actually originally from California. I moved to these parts a few years ago. Where are you and ved from?”

Zoe answered, “I’m from here, but ved is from New York. And yo?”

Cindy responded, “I’m originally from Maine. I moved here with with my boyfriend John at the time. Well, let me clarify that. Xe was becoming John. Xe was originally Jonna. When I first met John, xe was a gender-expansive pansexual neutrois. Xe also occasionally liked to date a sheep that lived nearby. I really didn’t like that, to be honest. Xe would come home with particles of wool all over xip.

Melinda jumped in. “To be perfectly honest, when I transitioned, I wasn’t entirely sure whether I should date guys or women. But then I met Kara, formerly Karl. Wuz hadn’t transitioned fully yet so, although wuz was outwardly female, under the clothes wuz was still fully equipped, if you know what I mean.”

Harriet asked, “So, how did you feel when you slept with woosh?

Melinda responded, “I suppose it was kind of interesting. I had the best of both worlds. I enjoyed woosh’s feminine manner yet also woosh’s masculine physique. I have to admit that sex with wuz was quite good.

Brianna piped in. “I agree with that. I go both ways. Both men AND boys.

Harriet spoke up. “Well, it’s getting a bit late. I think I’m going to head home. But we should definitely all exchange phone numbers. Cindy, why don’t you give Melinda your number, and hir can give xyr’s and yours to Brianna. Brianna can then give plu’s number plus the two others to Zoe. Ved can give vik’s number and the other three to me.”

Cinda suggested to Zoe, “Yes, Zoe, if you give plu’s and xyr’s number to them, then they can be the central hub of our new group.”

With good night pleasantries exchanged between all the new friends, Harriet and Cindy decided to walk home together.

Cindy said, “You know, Harriet, I thought Brianna was a very nice person. I think I’m going to give plu a call tomorrow.”

Harriet inquired, “You mean for a date?”

Cindy retorted, “Sure, why not? Per seems like a nice lady. I also liked Melinda. Xyr has a beautiful smile.”

Harriet admitted, “Actually, hir said the same thing about you.”

“Ah, very cool! If I took xyr out on a date, where would you recommend I take xyr?”

“I would recommend the new restaurant on 24th Street. I think hir would love it.”

“OK, Harriet, I guess I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. By the way, please give my best wishes to your friend, Sherry. Quip is very nice. I haven’t spoken with quack in quite a while. How is quip doing since that accident when quip was hit in the head by a baseball?”

Well, quack’s head hurt for a few days, but quip’s doing fine now. No serious residual. Quip should have ducked.”

OK, Cindy. Have a good night!"