Tommy Goround

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Apr, 2022

Stories (21)

21 Stories

3751 karma pts

?

“Out of Hand” by Tommy Goround

Submitted to Contest #268

All right, the omnipresent omni-powerful phone thing is getting out of hand.  I mean a guy can’t even take a girl out anymore without her trying to wrap his phone in a wad of tin foil. They follow us into the restroom on the first date. Not to make sure we are washing hands but to make sure we do not defile the stalls with the lust which is founded in the Wall Street Journal.  “I can see your feet!”  Olivia is screaming at me and I thought it was a private place and the waiter understood. He would fill her cup with iced tonics...

9 comments 9
Read story

“Psst...(Jill killed Jack)” by Tommy Goround

⭐️ Shortlisted for Contest #256

“I very much need some socks pretty please with sugar on top.” This was the text that I sent to my estranged ex-wife. The one who wanted to drag me out to the wilderness under the guise of talking about financing our first childs’ entrance into college. I knew that she was old fashioned and wanted to push me from a hill. Just like Fellini. So my last request was not very sinister. I mean, even death row inmates should get some free laundry or a meal. Maybe even a prayer? I looked into the pantry of my rental and decided there ...

46 comments 46
Read story

“So help me, I'm Yours” by Tommy Goround

Submitted to Contest #209

-1-Merryl Schenosi has a paper bag because she cares for the Earth. She’s on my porch in heels, a blue skirt that matches the blouse coat, a realtor’s badge near the place reserved for handkerchiefs. “It’s time to evacuate, Mr. Goround.” My realtor has come at 10:02 pm on a Sunday before the Dance of Cyclones, opening storm, 2023 because she cares. Someone gave her a copy of my car keys, or she must have broken into the dealership? Or we were lovers and I forgot.“Everything you ever needed is in the bag.” Alright. She can guid...

22 comments 22
Read story

“The Swatter” by Tommy Goround

Submitted to Contest #201

One would not normally use a fly swatter to remove a pizza from an oven. It doesn't matter that they are the same basic shape.I'm trying to explain this to Bedo who looks forlorn. His yellow plastic flyswatter is the only item he brought through customs besides the necessary change of clothing and one toothbrush. It's less than satisfying because most people get wonderful gifts when they host a child.My neighbor Henry points to his Hyundai in the yard."Come on Bedo." We walk right past the green bedazzled Hyundai as my neighbor is trying to ...

19 comments 19
Read story

“No more laundry.” by Tommy Goround

⭐️ Shortlisted for Contest #169

It's a mortuary fact that dead bodies should not be buried without a banana. Most of the dead people around our town drink too much coffee and spout their mouths out in public, then they just die, die, and the explosive parts of their personality gather energy.For example, Hilda Benderhole used to have the most terrible intergestion about the way my dog urinated all over her flowers. We all know that flowers need the dogs, especially in a drought. When Hilda died, her husband wouldn't even use those flowers for her gravesite. Bad Muju.Well, ...

71 comments 71
Read story

“The Benefit Society” by Tommy Goround

⭐️ Shortlisted for Contest #169

There's a graveyard in Old Home, California, that hasn't changed its prices since 1978. The locals know it. They are suspicious of strangers coming to their town with pickup trucks because everyone in the world would like a free plot of land just to bury their kin.One time Sally Greenbow told us that the military did not pay enough to bury her husband after Iraq. The commercials on the television say that the average funeral cost is the same price as a used Toyota. The same price as a 5-year-old car that will get you to work. I'm sure that m...

33 comments 33
Read story

Author bio

I write movies And sit on couches. tpgoround@gmail.com

Shortlisted 3 stories ⭐️

Contest #256
Psst...(Jill killed Jack) – read story
Contest #169
No more laundry. – read story
Contest #169
The Benefit Society – read story