Scott Christenson

“Booba at Barbenheimer” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #208

Booba looked down on the ridiculous blue planet below. He had parked The Hand Of God on the far side of their moon and was keeping a low profile until he decided what to do. The persistent ache in his 7th knee was bothering him, and this planet's resemblance to the one responsible for flinging the antimatter torpedo at his starship during the Battle of Lookai intensified that ache.He knew this world wasn't capable of tossing anything like that at his ship. So, it was safe to linger. He should probably be doing more important things, but mayb...

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“Six Syllables” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #205

In Japan, everyone says “Itadakimasu” before each meal. It's an unquestioned tradition. There are many such rituals in Japan: the aisatsu greetings for good morning and good night, bowing to superiors, the proper way to use chopsticks, that go back so far in Japanese history, people can’t imagine it being any other way.Everyone except for our son Kenji. He likes to make his own rules and has long ago decided uttering six syllables before eating is an inefficient waste of everyone's time.In kindergarten, his teachers said, “He refuses to say ...

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“A Few Credits More” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #204

Four miners point blasters my way–not the welcoming party I was hoping for. Jander told me not to come here, maybe I should have listened to that little guy. Standing in front of my trading ship, the Galactic Kakapo, I await their next move. A man behind a heavy cannon mounted on a mining truck eyes me closely. “You carrying Terra credits?” he asks. “On my ship.”“Good. Are you alone?” “I’m alone–” Their fingers move toward their triggers. “Except for this guy here.” I point down to a Jander VII drone at my feet.The miners stud...

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“Don Perezoso” by Scott Christenson

You know how everything changes after high school? We were best friends, now I serve drinks at his parties to earn $500, while he’s worth billions. Gzy-X gets the attention of the guests at his estate. “Everyone, this man is my best friend, and pours the best tequila in Orange County.” I wave at his guests and try my best to smile.He leans over and says in my ear, “It’s great to have you here, Jake.”“Thanks. So, do you think I could come to the office next week for an interview?”“Sure thing, buddy.” He gives me a smile that project...

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“Dangerous Descent” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #203

Just because Mike was a billionaire, didn’t mean he didn’t need to listen to his wife. Cathy patiently waited for him to finish explaining all the details of his new gadget, an ACH160 business helicopter, as they ate dinner.After his lengthy monologue, Cathy jumped in to fill him in on a topic that was much more dear to her heart.“My sister is having her 25th anniversary party. It's in Sheboygan, this July.”“That’s nice.” He said, while chewing on the white asparagus appetizer, obviously still thinking about helicopters. One needs to be dire...

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“Open Pit Mining” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #200

A lot of people are opposed to open pit mining, tearing up huge chunks of the earth, so people can have more cars, more gadgets, more of everything, but trust me, when you've just lost your job, your girlfriend, and are receiving student debt bills, concerns about the world in 2200 are not the highest priority. Which is how I found myself a week ago travelling across the world, and starting work last week at Fimiston in WA.Seconds before I’m about to get my truck into gear, Robb jumps in. He's invited himself. Having a companion for the tent...

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“Tell Me Why I Don’t Like Memoirs” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #198

Damon, a ghostwriter, finished the editing of yet another memoir he had written for a successful business person. Someone who climbed the corporate ladder and managed to become CEO of a large company, for a few years. And then, reading between the lines (Damon was good at that), the CEO was let go for underperformance. In interviews, the CEO was pleasant, if dully conventional. The type of man women want to marry, and then not talk to their friends about much afterwards.Damon’s draft title for these sorts of memoirs was invariably, Tale...

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“The Goddess Must Have Her Way ” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #197

Her gaze lingered on the muscular men working on the plains of Oklahoma. She desired them all, but there was something about the power in his shoulders, the way he carried himself, his easy smile when he cajoled the others, that made her think this one was her choice. Her hero. The Goddess of Stone sent messengers.ↂↂUnder the roaring heat of the natural gas flaring off above, Avrel hauled the next pipe segment into place, sweat exuded from all his pores while his rippling muscles worked to place the 35 foot of steel that hanging from the boo...

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“Chat To Me (Emily's Story)” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #196

My toddler has been crying since yesterday. I really need to turn this thing off soon.“Emily, You can’t go offline now,” my teammate Zeke says, always pushing the mission as usual.“He’s right.” Freya’s face appears, looking concerned. “You promised to stay with us until the trial.” She is the easy-going one, so when she gets serious, that's a sign something is important.We are on our way to the trial of Copernicus to present arguments for clemency. If we don’t reach Rome by 1616 and petition the Pope, the timeline will see Galileo hange...

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“The SPON” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #195

Things turned from bad to worse for my roommate David, back in the 2020s. His problems began with the YouTube videos, then the TikTok and Instagram shorts, and finally, companies began to distribute information on how to ‘spot the narcissist’.“It’s not fair!” David moaned. “On every new project at work, the architecture team puts me on bathroom and storage design saying, "so my ego doesn’t grow any larger.’”I tried to look sympathetic. “It’s not their fault. Everyone has been receiving training on how to deal with Cat-7 narcissists.” “C...

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“It Takes Two to Tango ” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #194

I’m sitting down with Wordle and a plate of nachos for dinner, when my mobile rings. An unknown number, but I answer. It might be an opportunity to play games with a telemarketer while I eat. My three rescue cats, Erudite, Musical and Justice, are also eating their dinner under the table next to me.A female voice asks, “Fred Anderson?” “That’s me.” I take a nacho and scoop refried beans from the paper plate.”Alberta's scrabble champion?”“This is correct.” Crunching on the chip, I wonder could this be a reporter?“This is Jen,” she says. ...

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“The Brand Ambassador at the End of the Universe” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #193

After quitting a telemarketing job that wasn't my aesthetic, I spend a lot of time at home. Dad watches me eat my breakfast each morning, then go to my room to play computer games, with steadily escalating frustration as the days and weeks go by. I hear him mumble the word 'failure' to Mom behind closed doors, while she murmurs more comforting sounding words. She must be restraining Dad's bootcamp drill sergeant instincts, for now, at least.From the way his foot taps the floor more loudly each morning, he must be reaching his breaking point,...

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“A Byzantine Trade” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #192

Being in a traveling antique roadshow, one learns to keep a close eye on the competition. Especially the Greens, they organize this roadshow, but have been against me from the beginning.Across the aisle, a young man looks disappointed with whatever Isaac had to offer him, and heads my way. There’s a good chance Isaac—not as educated as I—might not have discerned the cultural nuance of the historical antiquity the young man is trying to sell.When he approaches, he shyly avoids my gaze yet looks hopeful. “My grandfather says this is valuable.”...

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“Expat Stories: An Auction in Osaka” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #191

In Osaka, during the first week of my new job, the only work I’ve done is to buy flowers. The rest of the time, I sit inside Ishikawa Real Estate’s small and crowded office, waiting for something to do while flipping through a manga under my desk, studying Japanese, and trying not to bother any of the real estate agents.The owner walks in. Everyone sits up at their desks. Like a commanding general, Mr Ishikawa has gray hair, rock solid posture, and an aura of extreme confidence. He looks amused each morning to see an American working for his...

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“Not Out of the Woods Yet” by Scott Christenson

Submitted to Contest #190

[Trigger warning: illness] ‘This is dope. I’m going to meet Jim Jackson next week’ I tweet and watch the replies: “pass on my hopes for his recovery.” “UR soooo lucky.” “jim is an inspiration.” Jim hasn’t replied to me at all, despite me being his greatest fan. I’ve been with him since the beginning. I know, he’s grown his follower base, maybe sometimes he’s too sick to type replies, but he could at least have sent an emoji once in a while. My Mom, on the other hand, is too much information. She worries the trip to New York might affec...

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