Whatta time is it?

‘In Venice they say, what time is it?’ Giuseppe started slurring his words in between taking a gulp of the local Donnafugata red wine we were all enjoying.

‘That’s because we, we say, how do you say…the stereotype is that Venetians are always drunk.’ chimed in Chiara in her perfectly pronounced English.

‘And in Milano they say, ‘Whattime is it?’ Giuseppe said very quickly raising the tip of his nose up with his finger. They have no time to even speak. It’s all work, work, work.’

‘And then in Florence they say Madonna, fuck, what time is it? They swear a lot in Florence so excuse me.’

‘In Rome they say what ….time ….is ….it?’ Giuseppe took so long in between words I did wonder if he was running out of steam. ‘In Rome they are very, very lazy. They cannot even be bothered to speak.’

‘Brilliant. This is brilliant.’ Marie was laughing hysterically. ‘Sorry go on will ya.’

‘Of course. And in Corleone they say ‘whatta time is it? Don’t disrespect my family or you sleep with the fishes.’

‘That is my husband doing his best Don Corleone impression. You know from The Godfather.’ Chiara felt the need to whisper this last detail as several customers at nearby tables wondered what on earth we were talking about.

‘Wonderful. Bravissimo.’ Cheered Helen. We all clapped and raised our glasses.

This was the second time I had heard Giuseppes ‘what time is it?’ skit and it still had me in hysterics.

‘That’s great isn’t it. So many stories in such a simple What time is it?’ Marie tried to echo one of the accents. Strangely enough it didn’t quite sound the same in her soft Irish lilt.

Lots of laughter continued around the table.

Marie continued to laugh her head off revealing that she smoked about forty a day.

‘I told you he was good. Thank you for doing your skit again, Peppe.’

I was out for dinner at Cantina de peppe, a family run trattoria just outside Marsala, a short drive from Trapani where I was living. We were with my friend Pietro’s good friends Chiara and Peppe. Pietro had rung me in the week and asked if I’d come for dinner with his married friends. Sensing a slight double date dynamic, I had panicked slightly and said ‘you know who would love to join and would think the world of Chiara and Peppe…. Marie and Helen.’ I secretly think Pietro loved the idea of bringing three ladies to dinner. Pietro had picked me up first that evening and true to form had come up to my apartment with a gift of something sweet and waited in my dining area while I finished preening.

I looked in the mirror, my skin looking a lot less pasty than when I arrived and with the warmer weather coming in, I certainly had a rosy glow. Last weekend I had visited one of the many beautiful islands off Sicily, Favignana which was well known for the ritual of the fisherman catching the tuna. My hair had now grown significantly since arriving and I was able to scoop up into a short ponytail. As I applied a final layer of powder to my chin and forehead, I noticed my skin was so much clearer that when I was back in the UK.

As I popped on my low heels and walked over to Pietro he greeted me with 3 kisses and said ‘Rebbie, you are looking wonderful.’

‘Why thank you, signor wind. Pietro’s surname was Vento and we loved to call him ‘Mr windy’ as a term of endearment. ‘I put it down to all that wonderful company.’

‘Aah the Sicilian charm is rubbing you up.’

‘Rubbing off on you.’

‘Cosa?’

‘Don’t worry. Andiamo’

‘Indeed Andiamo’

Pietro drove a couple of blocks to Marie and Helen’s apartment on via alcamo and I popped out and buzzed for them. A few moments later they appeared. Marie all in black which accentuated her trim physique and Helen dressed in a beautiful green dress and cardigan that complimented her auburn locks. As they jumped in the car, I got a waft of both of their perfumes mixed with the smell of espresso and nicotine.

I had met Pietro’s good friend Peppe and Chiara a few weeks after arriving in Trapani. They lived in Marsala, famous for the dessert wine and I think it was that meal with them that really started my love affair with sicilian food. It was wonderful getting to know them both and hearing their story. Chiara and Peppe had known each other at school and just before starting their degrees chiara had fallen pregnant with their daughter Francesca. Their parents had stepped in and offered to help look after the child while Chiara finished her degree and started her career in the law.

At the end of the evening Pietro drove us home and I pitied him driving with three drunk ladies.

‘Pietro can you put the radio on?’ Marie hollered from the back seat.

‘Of course,’ he said nervously wondering what would be asked next.

As King of the Bongos started to play and Marie and Helen carried on nattering in the back I placed my hand on Pietro’s and said ‘tutti va bene?’

‘Yes, Rebbie I’m sorry I’m a bit distracted at the moment?

What’s wrong?

Conscious he may be overheard, he said ‘I’m ok I’m just a bit concerned about Sabby at the moment?’

‘Why?’

‘She’s not in her head at the moment.’

‘Oh in her right mind?’

‘Yes exactly. She is studying in Florence in the day, working in a very busy restaurant in the evenings and then she rang me to say when she finished about 2 or 3am sometimes, she goes off clubbing. I am just worried about her.’

‘Of course you are.’

Pietro and Sabrina had dated secretly as there was a bit of an age gap and they still had strong feelings for each other. Last week when we had driven to Palermo to collect my new mobile phone, he had called in to see her as she was visiting her parents for the weekend. He had seemed noticeably tearful when leaving.

‘When is Sabby coming home?’

‘Next weekend.’

‘Perhaps you can catch up then?’

Sensing that pietro didn’t want to talk any further about it, I changed the subject.

‘So what time is it?’ I started with my best al pacino accent.

‘That was brilliant.’ Marie added.

As we pulled up outside Marie and Helen’s apartment, Marie in her truly hospitable way said, ‘fancy a night cap guys?’

‘Next time Marie. I’m afraid I need to be up early tomorrow for a call.’

‘You work too much Pietro.’

‘I know.’

‘And Rebs?’

‘I will join you actually. Bonna notte Pietro. Thank you so much.’

‘Speak tomorrow Rebbie.’

Pietro and I had got into a habit of checking in with each other every few days as if he could sense I was feeling a bit lonely and missing home, he would invite me over for dinner and a film. We both had an admiration for Meg Ryan, so we were working our way through her early classics.

As Helen, Marie and I stumbled up to their apartment, Marie said as soon as Pietro was out of earshot.

‘Is it me or is Giuseppe seriously hot?’

‘It’s not just you. He’s super-hot.’ I concurred.

‘He’s got that whole Tom Selleck glossy hair situation and the way he looks at chiara is just so dreamy.’

‘I know, I bet they have fantastic sex.’ Helen pined.

‘There is no doubt about that. I hope Declin looks at me like that when I’m old with saggy tits.’ Marie continued.

‘Oh, Marie I can’t imagine you sagging anywhere.’

‘It’ll happen, once I get off the fags like Declin wants me to so he can pump me full of his Irish fertiliser I’m going to bloat out and stay that way.’

‘You’re so funny Marie.’

It was true Chiara and Peppe were so at ease with each other and the way they looked at each other was heavenly. I don’t think Luke had ever been like that with me at all. Goodness Luke, he left me a message earlier saying he wanted to talk about something urgently.

‘Shit guys I completely forgot. Luke asked me to call him.’

‘Oh don’t worry call him tomorrow. What do you think is urgent?’ Helen slurred.

‘Oh goodness knows.’

‘Maybe he’s booked a ticket out here?’ Marie suggested.

‘I don’t think so.’

‘It’s funny isn’t it. I think the chaps in our lives fear the life we have created for ourselves without them.’ Wise Helen suggested.

‘I think you’re right. I miss Luke but I’m enjoying having some time to figure out who I am.’

‘Cheers to that! Goodness this wine is foul.’ Helen said as she poured Marie and I a large glass.

‘Is it the 90 cents box from the market?’

‘Yep. God we’re going to be hanging tomorrow.’

‘Rebs, why don’t you stay over?’ Helen suggested.

Felling rather worn out, I agreed. ‘I will actually bels, I promote not to dribble on you.’

‘You’re very welcome.’

We all kissed and hugged each other good night and I felt so happy to have met Marie and Hels.

The next morning, I woke up and felt grim. Helen rolled over and said ‘morning.’

She looked so cute with her pixie haircut and didn’t look at all rough considering the VAT of wine we had consumed.

‘Cup of tea?’

‘Would love one Hel.’

I sat at their kitchen table and looked out their window towards the sea. Beautiful.

Marie wafted into the room in her silky nightie, ‘good morning’ and swiftly lit up.

‘Top of the morning! Will you be having a cup of tea will ya?’

‘Ok hels, enough with the mrs doyle impressions.’

and with that we all sat in silence for about a second before Marie started. ‘He’s a handsome one isn’t he?’

‘You mean peppe?’

‘Yes of course who else.’

‘I didn’t think you meant Pietro.’

‘And rebbie I’d like to take you to another temple to have my slimy way with you.’ Helen said in a really creepy fashion.

‘Stop it. He dosent sound that camp, does he? He does a bit bless him, but he was so sweet.’

‘He’s sweet on you.’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘Well when you leave next month he better not try anything with me.’ Helen announced

‘You’re too much woman for him Hels.’

‘Ha!’

‘Right ladies as much as I’d like to continue this delightful chat, I better head to the flat and see what Luke needs to talk to me about so urgently.’

‘Maybe he’s missing you so much he just wants a bit of phone sex.’

‘Oh for goodness sake Helen.’

‘I think I need an Italian lover. What was the name of the chap you smooched?’

‘Don’t remind me. We kissed. That was it. Giuseppe. You can have him.’

‘Ooh yes I wouldn’t mind anything, even sloppy seconds now.’

‘Ok ciao for now bellas. See you later.’

And I left their flat giggling and thinking about how much crap we spouted when we were together.

As I got close to my apartment I thought I’d cross the road to look out to sea and call Luke.

I was surprised that he picked up so quickly.

‘how are you nut?’

‘Fine thanks darling, sorry I got your message just as I was going out for dinner with Marie and helen.’

‘Oh nice. Didn’t you have fun? Yes but minging this morn in but it was a good wag. What’s going on? What’s so urgent?’

‘Well I don’t know if it’s too soon but I’ve been flat hunting. I was going to speak to you first, but I’ve been offered a job teaching in Oxford from May onwards and I’ve a 1 bed flat in Jericho near port meadow. They need to know asap as I suspect it’ll go soon. What do you think? I think we should move in together as soon as you get back from Sicily. I’ve spoken to mum and dad about and all mum said was ‘it’s a big step’ but I think it makes sense. We love each other and there is loads of work at the school. You could easily pick up some teaching work and I’ve got some savings.’

My phone started beeping as the battery was low. I felt hot and a bit nauseous as the volume of red wine and no breakfast started to kick in.

‘Sorry Luke my phone needs recharging.’

‘Ok but can you call me back as soon as possible. I said I’d let the landlord know asap.’

While I loved Luke and missed him deeply, I couldn’t help but think he was acting on the spur of the moment as he was unhappy living at home with his parents who were constantly on his case. I also wasn’t sure about committing financially to a 1 bed flat when I hadn’t seen it and wasn’t sure I could take the risk in case I didn’t get a job. I needed to take a shower and write a for and against list before deciding.