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Murray Burns

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Jan, 2022

Stories (139)

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259 Followers

29 Following

139 Stories

4439 karma pts

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Feathers and Fur

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #183

Feathers and FurThis is a tale,Of forbidden love,Condemned by all creatures,And doomed from above.Noah understood. It wasn’t just man that should not be alone. All of God’s creatures crave companionship. Life is constructed in pairs.The farm was a veritable smorgasbord of livestock- cows, horses, pigs, and chickens. A small army of cats patrolled the area in search of rats, mice, ground squirrels, and other undesirable forms of life. Farmer John and his wife Betsy lived in the big old house up near the road. The only lonely soul was Monty, t...

10 likes

One Day In the Nursery

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #182

One Day in the Nursery Willy: “God dammit! Do they ever turn the #%&! lights off around here?! How the hell am I supposed to get any sleep?!” Nate: “Do you eat with that mouth?! Watch your language, Willy! There are ladies present.” Gert: “Knock it off, Nate. This is the 21st Century. We don’t need any of your machismo-laced, pretentious bravado to protect us. We can take care of ourselves.” Prissy: “I think it’s sweet, Nate. It reminds me of Sir Lancelot of the Knights of the Round Table.” Willy: “Hey, Pri...

12 likes

Herb Goes Hermit

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #181

Herb Goes Hermit Herb peered over the top of his cubicle, mesmerized by the agonizingly slow movement of the minute hand on the clock at the far side of the room. In his one lone, exhilarating act of defiance, he had tossed his watch into the waste basket in the company cafeteria years ago. Everything else in his life was constraining and suffocating. As illusory as it was, Herb could at least imagine he was freed from the bonds of time.Time. 34 years = 408 months = 1,768 weeks =12,410 days = 297,840 hours = 17,870,400 minutes. The last 20 m...

16 likes

My Little Girl

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #176

My Little Girl Chapter 1I’ve had a pretty good life. I really can’t complain. It’s just a little sad to reflect back on everything when you get old. I didn’t even know I was old until someone told me. This would have been a lot easier if I had kept a diary, but I’ll do the best I can from memory. I never even met my father. I have no idea what the deal was between him and my mother. She never talked about it. I had seven brothers and sisters! There were the usual family squabbles, especially at mealtime, and there was some rough play, b...

22 likes

Leaf It To Herb

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #175

Leaf It To HerbDeath/Dark Humor Henpecked (Hĕn’-pĕct): Dominated or harassed (usually a man by a woman) with persistent nagging; Herb.It is sometimes difficult to ascertain with any degree of accuracy the exact moment when a man loses it, succumbs to the inner evil that lurks within, and crosses over to the dark side. Is there a point where a single drop of water can sink a ship, one more degree of temperature causes the pot to boil over, or one more screeching syllable from the tormentor pushes a man over the edge? Let’s find out.“Hey,...

5 likes

Where Have You Gone, Peter Pan?

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #174

Where Have You Gone, Peter Pan?“When I was child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reasonas a child; when I became a man, I put away the things of a child.” 1 Corinthians: 11-13I shave in the shower now. There’s no mirror in there. I don’t even want to see who I’ve become. Too many wrinkles, too many lines, not enough hair, no color. Sometimes, by sheer accident and the laws of probability and statistics, I’ll catch a glimpse of the old man in the mirror above the bathroom sink. I’m not even sure who he is.What happened? I ...

25 likes

The Holy Grail of Christmas Presents: The Easy-Bake Oven

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #173

The Holy Grail of Christmas Presents: The Easy-Bake OvenNot all dads are made alike.- Some are organized, plan ahead, and get their Christmas shopping done in November. Some are disorganized, procrastinate, and battle the crowds on December 24th to secure the desired gifts.-Some spoil and dote on their children. Some spoil and dote on their children to the extreme.-Some give up, make adjustments, and seek alternatives. Some never give up, steadfastly refuse to alter course, and stubbornly reject options.This is the sad saga of a disorganized...

39 likes

Hurry Midnight

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #172

Hurry Midnight“I agree, sir. It’s time for you to settle down. Get yourself a wife. Kids are great to have around. You’d like it.”“But believe it or not, Reggie, I’m having a little trouble landing a good wife. I don’t get it, I mean she’d get to live in the castle, never have to work a day in her life, she’d have tons of cool jewelry, and most of all, she’d get to be with me! You’d think chicks would love the idea. I have to be the best catch in the kingdom. Babes should be throwing themselves at me. What could possibly be the problem?”“Wel...

30 likes

Footsteps in the Snow

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #171

Footsteps in the SnowIt snowed that day. I remember walking in footsteps made by others while my thoughts still followed her away, for that was the last time I saw her. I remember hair mingled with snow, and a smile that wasn’t a smile. Every time it snows I remember walking in those footsteps.Regret is a fearsome adversary. How is it possible that one cannot outlive a mistake, bury it, escape it if even for a day? Would that God had instead taken an eye or a limb or trimmed a few years off my life. Banished from feelings of happiness, all j...

21 likes

The Rosary

Murray Burns

Shortlisted for Contest #170 ⭐️

The Rosary It is a wondrous thing when two lives intersect at exactly the right time and place to create a meaningful, fulfilling future, or perhaps at least a wonderful memory. It borders on the miraculous when three lives meet at the same time and place to create that one special moment in time. But one crisp fall evening in this small town, they did. Tommy was a 6th grader at St. Mary’s. Like many young boys, he wasn’t fond of school, but it did present the opportunity to participate in his one passion in life- football. As a “scrub” on...

41 likes

Revenge of the Black Cat

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #169

Revenge of the Black CatMaybe it was the season. Halloween is known to mess with the minds of men. But this wasn’t the first time. Cold, crisp air, the still quiet of the night interrupted only by the sounds of crunching leaves with every footstep. The old fashion streetlamp at the corner gave the moon a nice assist as a cloud lazily drifted by, making sure Carl would get a good look at it…again. The cat was small in size and never threatening in demeanor. In fact, it never even moved. It just looked, stared with piercing grey eyes...

13 likes

Wrong Track - Right Track

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #168

Wrong Track – Right TrackI’m not sure this is what Mr. Zamzow had in mind when he told the class, “For very action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”; I got on the train- she didn’t.The pressure to excel, to succeed, to someday arrive at the Promised Land of wealth, power and position. Surely this could not be vanquished by a high school romance. It seemed like love, but my Dad warned me all about “puppy love”. In this day and age, the odds of a teenage romance making it to the alter, followed by a big house in the country with cute l...

12 likes

Herb's Brain Scam

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #167

Herb’s Brain ScamDeep in the recesses of Herb’s brain, an emergency meeting of unparalleled import was just underway. "CC", representing the largest portion of the brain, the Cerebral Cortex, chaired the meeting as usual. The other powerful Union Bosses, each representing billions of members, in attendance were:-“Fronz”, representing the Frontal Lobe responsible for reasoning and motor skills.-“Perry”, representing the Parietal Lobe responsible for tactile senses.-“Temper”, representing the Temporal Lobe responsible for memory.-“Oxy”, repres...

9 likes

Herb Goes Out In A Huff

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #166

Herb Goes Out In A HuffThey should have seen it coming. It had been building for a long time. Still, the event shocked all who witnessed it and is still talked about in the cafeteria, around water coolers, even in the parking lot as the workforce arrives in the morning and leaves at the end of the day. In this mega-company with facilities throughout the world, “Going Postal” has been replaced with “Going Herb.” The highlight of the annual Christmas Party is “Who Gets the Herbie”?, a prestigious award bestowed upon the worker who committed th...

7 likes

Arachnophobia Comes To Cleveland

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #165

Arachnophobia Comes to ClevelandThey promised Billy a pet when they dragged him away from his friends in Omaha.“You are going to love it in Cleveland. They’ve got the Browns, the Indians and a Great Lake. And we’ll have our own house. You’ll have your own room, and you can have that pet you’ve always wanted.”“What’s so great about the lake?”Moving is tough on an eight year old kid. The pet idea was just one of the many carrots Fred came up with to induce Billy to give Cleveland a try. The younger children, Carri and Matt, were less attached ...

12 likes