Blane Britt

“Dear Diary Anyway” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #36

Anyway, I can recall being at a park called Frick Park in Edgewood, Pennsylvania. I’m about 6 years old at the time and I get thirsty. There’re two fountains. One for whites only and the others for coloreds only. The white fountain looked as if it was cleaned by Hazel the maid laboring for the Baxter’s or the spinster Alice who happily worked for the Brady Bunch. While the colored fountain looked as if dogs, birds, cats, wildebeests, crocodiles, hippopotamus, elephants, lions, tigers, polar bears, well maybe not polar bears because we a...

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“Two Left Feet” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #35

It was my freshman year in high school and right away there was two things or maybe three things I was awfully frighten of. First it was the seniors who appeared to be giants over me and second high school girls. Lastly and most importantly the annual Freshman Class Spring Dance. I had a lot of friends who were transferred to the same high school I was attending. My best friends being Dorky, Elaine and Unfortunate Ray. I don’t quite know how he got that name unfortunately, but it seemed to fit him. I was nominated as the class president of t...

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“What Olivia Saw” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #35

What Olivia SawMy wife, my kids and I decided to take a drive one winter weekend. I had rented a small cabin at Wind Creek State Park in Alexander City, Alabama. It had snowed the previous night, but all in all the roads weren’t bad at all. I knew once we reached the mountain area it might get a little difficult to drive. No problem for my all four wheel drive Cherokee jeep. I was in a hurry to get there because there were only so many bottles of Dr. Peppers on the wall that I could digest from singing. My wife who is a stern believer in con...

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“Unconditional Love” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #35

Unconditional LoveBefore I could ever begin to write a short story about an internal monologue. I had to find out what it meant. You would think that someone who has acquired a BA in Psychology and a master’s degree in Clinical Psychology would have no problem in defining that it is also called self-talk, inner speech, inner discourse or internal discourse, is a person's inner voice which provides a running verbal monologue of thoughts while they are conscious. It is usually tied to a person's sense of self. It is particularly important in p...

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“Finding Her Living in the Concrete Jungle” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #35

Finding Her Living in the Concrete JungleAs you’re sitting there probably wondering how one or two people being animated real life characters can find love in a concrete jungle. Wait a minute, you could be standing or even sky diving. Let me try an explain what it means. There are a lot of intellectual readers out there who are not familiar with urban terminology. Concrete jungle (plural concrete jungles) (idiomatic) An urban or other populated area especially when perceived as an unpleasant or challenging place to live containing a high den...

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“The Future only an Hour Forward Away” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #35

The Future only an Hour Forward AwayI have over six clocks, 4 watches, a clock on the microwave, stove, toilet and refrigerator in my bachelor pad. On the early evening of March 7, 2020. I thought I would get a head start on changing each clock and the watches one hour forward after my friends and some covetous competitors left the poker party. I hosted at my condo. I can say that there was a lot of drinking and smoking and not all of the smoking weren’t from cigars, if you get my drift. People were coming in and out from Friday up until Sat...

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“Not Game Night, but Game Fight” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #34

Not Family Game Night, But Family Game FightOnce a month my dysfunctional family would get together on family game night to play a game of Pokeno until some poor sport (someone who exhibits improper behavior during a game, whether winning or losing), starts a fight. I’ll bet you that many of you who will read this short story has never played or even heard of the game Pokeno. My family has been playing this game for over the past 50 years. I want to say that we stop playing one month because of the bombing in Tel Aviv, the last Palestinian b...

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“The Bank Job” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #34

The Bank JobBlokey: Brain what time you want me to pick you up?Brain: Just like we discussed 50/11 times man. You been smokin that wacky weed again.Blokey: No Brain I’m just a little scared that’s all.Brain: Blokey my friend there ain’t nothing to be afraid about. We’ll be outta that place in 8               minutes tops. You talk to Pee wee today?Blokey: Yeah, he’s laying low with this stripper from Compton.Brain: What she look like?Blokey: Girl got a booming body, but a ...

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“What A Surprise” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #34

What a SurpriseIn 1969 my mother and I went house hunting. Back in them days there wasn’t any realtors for people who dwelled on the other side of the train tracks, if you know what I mean. Basically, it was word of mouth or a friend of a friends third cousin who knew who was selling a house. After looking at around 16 homes I was kind of bored with the whole process. All I wanted was a bedroom of my own. The house or home or cabin or shack or treehouse or barn or adobe or igloo could have been on the moon as far as I was concerned at 14 yea...

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“What's Really Going On.” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #34

What’s Really Going on?I been with my current master for over 7 human years now and that’s 49 years in dog years. Not old enough for pension or retirement or dog SSI. Whatever that means. A “dog year” is a measurement that puts the age of a dog in the context of a human lifespan, in other words, if I (Stroh’s, I’ll tell you later how my master came up with that ridiculous name at a later time). If Stroh’s  were a person, how old would I be? Most people think of one “human year” as equivalent to seven “dog years.” But that’s a bad predic...

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“Miscommunication” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #33

MiscommunicationI can’t believe they released me back into society! After spending 13 years in a psychiatric facility for the criminally insane. I was suddenly released back into society.  I was given a life sentence there for slaughtering a herd of Bison’s Latifrons at The National Bison Range in the National Wildlife Refuge located in western Montana established in 1908 to provide a sanctuary for the American bison. I was diagnosed criminally insane by the time I got caught trying to get my hustle on by skinning and making fur coats o...

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“Led by Deception” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #33

Led by DeceptionEveryday on my way to work in Downtown Cleveland. There would be this gentlemen who many people referred to as Willie the Wino sitting at the bus stop, that I assumed waiting to go to work in a wheelchair. He had his two expensive titanium prosthetic legs laying across his lap. I always wondered where he could possibly be going to work and what could he possibly do if he had a real job. Come to think about it he was never at the bus stop on Mondays.One day I decided to ask him what he did for a living. He took a long sip of w...

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“Don't Judge a Book by its Cover Kids” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #33

Don't Judge a Book by its Cover Kids I met Mr. Grapes an anomic individual (a state or condition of individuals or society characterized by a breakdown or absence of social norms and values, as in the case of uprooted people), when I was around ten years old and he changed my young life completely. I had skipped school or as they used to say, I played hooky from school. Far beyond my house was a paper recycling plant where Mr. Grapes happily resided. On the outside above his doorless frame a sign that read: Trespassers will cause m...

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“The Set Up” by Blane Britt

The Set UpI’m working for a company that is a subsidiary of AT&T. Called G. C. Services. (A subsidiary, subsidiary company or daughter company is a company that is owned or controlled by another company, which is called the parent company, parent, or holding company. The subsidiary can be a company, corporation, or limited liability company. In some cases, it is a government or state-owned enterprise). I was working in the LEC (Local Exchange Carrier) Department with 19 women and just me. I had been on the phone for over an hour trying t...

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“The Next Day After I Graduated from High School” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #33

The Next Day After I Graduated from High SchoolBeings that I was ranked 167 out of 168 graduating seniors in 2019. The one person I was ranked higher than did his work assignments from the county jail in Mississippies, don’t mind my spellin cause I ain’t never been good at nothing but tellin jokes and smokin reefer. Maybe not in that order. I really didn’t have too many options with a 1.0 G.P.A. I truly wanted to go to Med School and me and my guidance counselor Miss Behemoth applied to 104 Medical Colleges all over the world. She used to bu...

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