Truths and Lies

Jonathan

He opened his eyes slowly. The light coming from the window on the other side of the room was dim. It was early. He felt his wife sleeping by his side. She would remain sleeping for a good another three hours he thought, which gives him plenty of time.

He got up and rushed to the shower. The pouring water woke him up completely. He got dressed and within twenty minutes he was opening the front door, 

"Dad, wait, can I come with you”, he turned around to see his youngest son in his pyjamas.

"Can I come with you dad? ", the young boy persisted.

"I'm going for a run, son, go back to bed", he replied abruptly and closed the door behind him.

He hated it, when he replied like that to his son. He knew he was looking up t him and he wanted to spend more time with his dad. Definitely more time than the odd two days fishing trip at the lake. 

But right now, Jonathan just wanted to get out of the house. Alone.

It was only six thirty and Delia would be at home. He'd love to wake her up with a kiss. He didn't get the chance to do it that much.

He found her sleeping and woke her up with a big slushy kiss. He felt her warm body waking up in his hands. He wanted the feeling to last. He'd really love to wake up by her side. But to do this, we would have to talk to Aria, his wife about this and this is a talk he dreaded doing. The truth is they married young, before they really knew themselves. He got to know himself through Aria's lens and she got to know herself through his eyes. They were just too young, too impulsive. They 've been through so much together and Aria was his best friend. 

With Delia it was different, she came into his life and swept him off his feet. Like a long craved for summer day she came and made him aware of feelings he never thought he was able to possess. 

" Will I see you tonight?", he asked eagerly.

"I'm on shift until seven. Can you make it then?"

"Of course," he smiled giving a her a kiss on her velvety mouth.

There was John. His son. Just seven years old. Would he cope with a divorce?

He took the same way back. It was almost seven thirty and the day was coming to life. Humming birds were flying low on the lake. He could see it from the window of his car. Crystal clear waters.

When was the best time to speak to Aria? How would she take it? She must be suspecting him already? She must’ve realised something. She’s no fool.

He stopped at the café. The waitress was a pretty girl as young as Aria was, when they married. He wondered where he would be if he and Aria didn’t marry then. Aria would’ve left the island for sure. She liked to travel. She would probably end up a company’s CFO in some country abroad. He would probably have stayed. He loves his sleepy little town with its gorgeous pond like lake too much to abandon it. At least not for a long time.

By the time he got to his office, he had already fifteen emails. A couple from his new clients and a few from the civil engineers asking design specifications.

He replied to his new clients first, a young businessman seeking to build a warehouse cheaply and fast. His design included a green roof, which his new client didn’t seem to mind. Imagine all the that would nest there, he thought.

At four o’clock, he was ready to call it a day. The sun was still shinning on the sky and it he could take John for a stroll in the wood. He loves it there. He loves discovering new plants, listening to the sound of the leaves. He waits for the squirrels to come out from their nests and loves the

He felt guilty. He meant the world to John and Aria and he was prepared to leave them. Well not leave them. Separate from Aria...

He lied to Aria. He had to lie to her to get out of the house around seven. He couldn't bear the thought of not seeing Delia. She run in his veins like wine and the more he had of her, the more he wanted. He realised she knew. She didn't say anything. She didn't have to. She just frowned a little and a small wrinkle was carved on her forehead. Nothing too obvious, but he knew Aria. He knew her well. He was tormenting her this way. He might as well let her know now. Better sooner than later. Better be honest than a liar.

He was in love with her once. That is for sure. He still loved her now. That is for sure. He can't live without her and John in his life. That is for sure. 

"Do you ever imagine what our lives would've been if we didn't get married at eighteen? If we listened to other people and led our separate ways?" Aria' s voice sounded broken. He turned to her. She seemed vulnerable but strong at the same time.

“Aria, I have to go, maybe we can talk once I’m back”

He closed the door behind him.

Aria

I didn’t have much sleep last night. I kept thinking. All sort of thoughts sprouted in my head and I could not take control of them. I could feel the pressure in my head and my heart, heavy, it sung to my feet. I could barely breath. I think this is what people call insomnia. I never had it before. I stayed in bed. Pretended that I was deeply asleep. But I wasn’t. I just endured the long night.

I don’t know what went wrong. I could feel him lying next to me, asleep. His breath was rhythmic. I could see his chest going up and down, pushing the darkness that gathered around him away with every breath.

I wish I could do the same, but I couldn’t. I felt trapped, waiting for the day to come.

When the first dim rays of light broke the darkness of the room, he got up. I remained in bed pretending I was asleep.

I counted backwards from 200, to give him time to hide. I think, this is what I have been doing the past few months. Maybe longer.

What kind of marriage is that? When one is counting backwards and the other one is hiding.

…. A broken one.

I got up soon after he left. I tried to get myself ready but broken down in tears instead.

John was waiting for me downstairs in the kitchen, He made his own breakfast, a bowl of cereal with plenty of milk.

“Good morning darling, had a good night sleep?”

He smiles without replying. He has his mouth full of food.

I drive him to school.

I guess it will be the two of us soon.

I wonder what the world looks like alone again.