Project Un: Expendable

“I began my search across the stars to find natural wonders beyond beauty, to find anomalies beyond comprehension, and find life beyond humanity. Yet all I have seen is mankind alone in an hostile empty universe.”  - Captain’s log, R. Gunson, Paradigm Prime

“Just say it as it is Jax,” Mannis said, clicking his helmet into place. “I’m expendable.”

“It’s not like that!” Jax protested. Mannis gave a cold stare that silenced Jax even through the visor. Fluorescent light flickered glares off Mannis’s suit giving him a foreboding look. Jax looked down and tapped the screen of his tablet. 

“It’s a high risk operation,” Mannis said. “Everyone else is specialized like hell on this mission.”

Jax gave a slow nod in agreement, failing to find words to say. Mannis knelt to put on his grav-boots, lacing them with magnetic and interlocking straps like suspenders to his knees. His first layer was an airtight, flame resistant, waterproof, heat regulated, synthetic standard uniform. On top, he placed the grav-boots. More like tech enhanced sabatons than boots, but for a space repair, he wouldn’t complain. After placing both boots on, he stood back up and tapped the screen on his right forearm bracer pad. The grav-boots extended upwards with 4 sheets of metal like a budding flower. The sheets pressed against his leg and rested in place. Mannis gave a good squat and stretch to test the strain.

“Not bad,” He muttered. “These gen 6?”

Jax shook his head not looking up from his pad. “7’s, our boys in engineering just finished testing them. 20% more efficient.”

Mannis looked over at Jax. “Looks like Jess’s work.”

“Spotted the genius of our lovely head engineer, did you?” Jax said. 

Mannis nodded, placing a hand on the cold steel of the airlock tunnel. “She’d kill you for calling her ‘our boys in engineering’.”

Jax looked up. “I was referring to the team who built them.”

“Ah so you intentionally left out credit for her design work?” 

“I…” Jax stuttered. “No, it was a figure of speech!”

Mannis held up a hand. “I’m messing with you,”

Jax stopped mid protest and his shoulders slumped. 

Mannis shrugged. “Gotta have a laugh before I die.” 

“Well you didn’t laugh,” Jax muttered finishing his work on the tablet. “And you won’t die… Statistically speaking.”

Mannis grunted a one second chuckle. “Lovely.” 

He strapped on gloves before checking the bracer on his left arm. The thing hardly did anything more than offer a layer of protection, but policy had to be followed. He adjusted the chest piece that housed the oxygen and power supply. He tapped the bracer screen again and the chest piece extended plates to cover his thighs and connected to the grav-boots. The shoulder blades of the chest piece extended and folded metal around his arms up to his elbows. The bracers extended to connect to the elbow and extended to encase the openings of the gloves. Mannis tapped again and the suit jettisoned a burst of air. 

“Decompression complete,” Jax said walking up. Jax was a short man, but the grav-boots gave Mannis another half a foot of height on the man. Jax placed in the center of the chest piece, a round device like a metal donut with the hole filled. “Shields are charged and confirmed ready for use.”

“Let’s boot her up,” Mannis said. He reached for the jaw of the helmet and hit a switch. That opened a small panel in the helmet that contained the power button. He pressed it and light filled his vision. Sounds became clearer, visuals were auto adjusted to be high quality and precise on details. A plethora of logs and systems scrolled across his visor. 

“Systems are good.” Mannis stepped up to the airlock and pulled upward to open the hatch. Mannis nodded. And Jax stepped back. 

“I’ll tell Jess you complimented her boots,” Jax said with a smile.

“Please no,” Mannis said with a groan. 

“What? Maybe she’ll catch the hint?” Jax said.

Mannis shook his head. “Don’t think she’ll need the hint. Asked her yesterday.”

“No!”

Mannis began closing the airlock, but Jax caught it and stuck his head under to stare up at Mannis. 

“When were you gonna tell me? Better yet what did she say?!”

Mannis shrugged. “Flattered, Not opposed. But doesn’t want a ‘distraction’ while on mission.”

“Oh,” Jax said.

“Let the airlock go, bud. I can tell you all the tragic details over a drink,” Mannis said. 

Jax nodded. “On me, pal.”

“I’m counting on it,”Jax could hear the grin in Mannis’s voice for once. 

“You’re a smart bastard, Mannis,” Jax said with a friendly glare. “Show some emotion more often will ya? It’s easier for me to tell when you’re joking that way.”

Mannis shrugged.

“Maybe you’d get a ‘yes’ if you did?” Jax said. “Just saying!”

Jax ducked out of the airlock and shut it. 

“That’s cold, Jax!” Mannis yelled.

“Go die in space Mannis!” Jax replied. He gave a joking salute before walking off, his face bearing that stupid grin. 

***

Mannis all but dropped his tray of dinner on the table. He plopped on the bench exhausted. Who could have guessed recalibrating a flare reader from the outside would have taken so much work? Mannis blinked away spots and downed a glass of water. He brushed away sweat and flicked his hand to the side. He stared at his food. The perfectly cut blocks of food did not appear appetizing. Of course it was full of flavor and nutrients, not to mention the texture never bothered him, but one could miss the natural messiness of home cooked meals. 

Mannis went to drink again, but found his glass empty. He strained to get up again. His legs shook in protest and he slumped back down again. Mannis sighed and began to eat. He’d give his legs a few minutes rest before getting up for more water. As he ate, a glass set down in front of him. Mannis looked up mid-bite to see a feminine figure. Everyone aboard The Commission wore the same standard uniforms, but for this woman it seemed to compliment her. Her face, her pale skin, almost glowed in comparison to the dark grey clothing. She bore a very expressionless look. Straight lips, set jaw, brows in a slight furrow. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail, tied with the strap of goggles which gleamed like a pair of second eyes on her forehead. Her real eyes were a deep brown flecked with gold. There seemed to be a small twinkle in her eyes, like a spark of humanity behind a mask of stoicism.  

“Heard you liked my boots,” She said. Mannis groaned but nodded. "Mind if I sit?"

He ignored the protests forming in his head and gestured for Jess to sit. She sat with precision, and set down her own tray of food. She made an odd gesture with her hands and closed her eyes. She was silent and unmoving for a moment and then began to eat. Mannis too returned to eating, realizing he may have been staring.

"How'd they do?" Jess asked, her gaze like a carven statue. It took a moment for Mannis to realize what she asked.

"Worked great, the extended power about saved my life. The job took twice as long as a normal repair should. 20% more efficient is quite an improvement."

"Any malfunctions?"

Mannis shook his head. They were quiet for a while and Mannis felt awkwardness begin to exceed his exhaustion. Luckily, Jess spoke up first.

"I thought about it," she said. 

Mannis raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"You asked. Yesterday."

Oh.

"Would a conditional yes do?" She said. Mannis dropped his fork midway through a bite. The cafeteria went a bit more quiet than it should. Mannis waited until chatter started up again. 

"Meaning what exactly?” Mannis said.

"We're on mission, I have responsibilities that pile up. I can't have distractions, I can't make promises, work is priority."

Hadn’t they been over this already? "Alright…"

Jess lost composure. "I'll be straightforward about it then."

"That would help,” Mannis said before quickly adding “I think.”

"You're the first one to ask. I respect guts, Malek. And I could do with a break from work."

"Wouldn't a break be considered a distraction?" Mannis asked, then realizing what he asked stared at his food to avoid her gaze.

"In a way," she said. "Yes. I'm making a slight exception."

"Thank you?" Mannis said.

"You're welcome," Jess said. 

They both went quiet. Mannis kept eating.

"When are you off work?" He asked.

"23:00" 

Mannis nearly choked on his food. That was quite late. He usually was on call starting at 5:00. He nodded. Maybe he could find a way to get a later shift…

"Anything you'd like to do? Something you consider fun?" Mannis asked.

"Mathematics, Meridian Theory, and the occasional impromptu Panoply redesign."

Mannis chuckled. There was no way someone did any or all of those for ‘fun’.

"Glad you understand humor," she said in her matter of fact way. She sat stone faced, but seemingly expecting. Jess was confusing to him sometimes.

"Fun?" Mannis asked. "What do you do for fun?"

"Oh," Jess said. But she seemed like she didn’t have an answer.

"Tell you what," Mannis said. "I asked, so I'll figure something out. We'll do something that gives you a break from math and science and the engineering smart stuff?"

Jess looked at him and a smirk tugged at her lips. Heat rose to his face. Mannis shrugged and gave a sheepish smile as if to say ‘sorry?’. He was never this bad at keeping his composure.

"Yes, something distracting from smart stuff."

"It's a date, Jess. Er…” Mannis paused. “Do you prefer last names? Is it unprofessional to say first names? Should I-"

"Jess works," she said. 

"Alright… Jess," Mannis said. "How about tomorrow 23:00? Meet you at your shop?"

She nodded.

"Lovely," Mannis said. He finished his food and stood up. He took his tray and turned to leave. "Oh and if something comes up, just let me know. We can reschedule or cancel. Whatever works. You have priorities." 

And I'm expendable, he thought.

Jess nodded. "Thank you."

Mannis raised a cup as a goodbye wave and walked away. Jax would have quite the time hearing about this.

***

23:00 had come almost too soon. Jax, of course, loved the twists and turns of Mannis’s situation. Jax gave endless amounts of advice that Mannis had considered, but promptly tossed in his mind’s nearest airlock. That software genius had a million ideas but Mannis wasn’t really focused on how to “get the girl.” He understood what he was. Just a distraction from work. Nothing less, and certainly nothing more. 

“Lost in thought again,” Jess asked. 

Mannis blushed. What was it with her? He couldn’t seem to keep composure anytime he was around her. “Sorry, I’m a bit scatterbrained when it gets late.”

Jess nodded. Mannis dared a glance in her direction as they walked down the hallway towards storage. Her eyes had a look as if a thousand thoughts were running through her mind. She didn’t say anything more, just a subtle straightening of her posture to say she was uncomfortable. Mannis looked away. So much for a good impression, He thought.

His brain searched for questions to ask, conversations to start, or words to say but ultimately found nothing. They were met at the door by Vincent. The brute’s muscles could be seen through the uniform and the body armor he wore. 

“Oi,” Vincent said. “Where ya going?”

Jess gestured to Mannis as she didn’t know. Mannis stared at the man and slipped into his professional self.

“Checking on storage,” Mannis said. “Something our Head Engineer needs to see.”

Vincent narrowed his eyes. “And what are you doing then?”

Mannis smiled a cold smile. “If something goes wrong, I’m here to take the bullet, repair the damage or get sucked into space on her behalf. Can’t have her be at risk.” 

Vincent nodded and Mannis opened the storage door with a swipe of a badge. Jess followed Mannis and the doors shut behind them. Jess looked uncomfortable, but remained quiet and composed. 

 “Do you have access to everywhere?” She asked. 

Mannis nodded. “The one perk of being expendable. I have to be able to be everywhere.”

Jess frowned. A sinking feeling came over Mannis. Jess reacting meant something deeply bothered her. So Mannis shut up and pointed ahead of them. For a moment they walked on in silence. Mannis realized they couldn’t just not talk, so he tried reassuring her.

“Figured you wouldn’t like the typical nonsense of the crew,” Mannis said. “Don’t want to take up your time so I figured I’ll do something no one else can.”

Jess stopped. Mannis didn’t notice at first and continued speaking.

“Most people don’t know about some of the greatest places on this ship.”

“Mannis,” Jess said. “Where are you taking me?”

Mannis turned to see her steps behind him. He stared blankly at her, but pointed ahead of them. “There’s a big old window.” He admitted. “It’s not like the most interesting thing in the world, but it’s a damn good view.”

He winced realizing he had swore. Jess however seemed to recover her composure. Stone faced as ever she followed. Did I say something wrong? Mannis thought. 

“Thought it’d be more exciting if it was a surprise…” He said. “But hey don’t want to waste your…time…” She walked ahead of him. He couldn’t tell if she wanted to be done with the whole ordeal or if she was genuinely curious. Mannis hurried to catch up and led her to the spot he had picked. The round window had a diameter several feet long. The sparkling stars twinkled in the void and even wisps of galaxies could be seen. Jess stared with wide eyes at the sight.

“I know it’s not much…” Mannis started to say. Jess held up her hand and he stopped talking. She put her other hand to the glass and remained staring at the world outside. “It’s far enough away from lit portions of the ship. Even far enough forward so that you don’t get light pollution from the engines. Sometimes you can even catch a glimpse of-”

A faint shooting star crossed the sky and Jess let out a gasp. “Something cool,” Mannis said. “A glimpse of something beyond, ya know? Makes me think that maybe we’re not alone. Maybe something else is out there besides humanity.”

Jess turned to him with a spark in her eyes gleaming like he’d never seen.

“It’s amazing!” she said.

Mannis sat down. Propping one leg by the window so that he rested within the nook. Jess sat down as well.

“Do you…” Jess seemed uncertain. “Do you see things like this often?”

Mannis nodded. “Sometimes more up close.”

Jess cocked her head.

“I repair the outside of the ship a lot,” He said, shrugging. “It’s a lot different when your life is tied to a tether and some boots.”

“What’s it like?” Jess asked very quickly. Mannis looked at her, but couldn’t read her stone face. 

“Terrifying,” Mannis admitted. “Every step is walking between life and death. But I trust the work of people smarter than me. The tether won’t break. The boots won’t fail.”

“But even statistically speaking there is always a margin for error. Entropy will eventually wear down the most sophisticated and least sophisticated technology in the same way. There’s no way to guarantee a 100% success rate. Surely you must…”  She stopped rambling and blinked twice in rapid succession. Mannis felt a smile tugging at his lips.

“Doesn’t death scare you?” Jess said. 

Mannis stared at space while he thought. 

“I think I am,” Mannis said.

Jess stared at him. Not the stars. At him. Mannis blushed again.

“One day,” Mannis said. “I’ll die out there. Don’t think there’s a way around it. The tether will snap or an explosion will take me out. Whatever it is, I already know how I’ll feel and what I'll think.”

“How?” She asked.

Mannis shrugged. “With what I do, I know I’ll die thinking about the fact that someone else will have to risk their life because of my incapability. Someone of more value will have to come along and fix my mistakes. 

Jess stood up seeming very distraught. 

“Sorry,” Mannis said. “Talking too much?”

That sinking feeling returned. Jess grabbed his hand and he looked up in shock. He met her eyes and saw immense sternness.

“Mannis Malek,” Jess said. “Quit it with the degrading comments about yourself! Your work is beyond important, and you are one of the only people qualified to do it! You get to see the wonders of space and do incredible feats! You risk your life to keep this blasted ship going. While the rest of us sit around, practically in bubble wrapped rooms so we don’t get scratched! Stop acting like you’re just expendable!”

“Yes Ma’am,” He replied instinctually. His response seemed to remind her who she was speaking to. She let go of his wrist and looked away. Mannis felt a whirlwind of emotions stir up in him. He didn’t know what emotions they were or what to do with them.

“Apologies,” She muttered.

Mannis sat stunned.

“I should go,” Jess said. “Thank you for the…um…view.”

Jess began to walk away.

“Thank you,” Mannis said.

“For what?” Jess said with a slight confused look.

Mannis shrugged. “Tonight, I suppose.”

The oddest thing happened. Jess smiled. It was a quick smile, but a smile nonetheless. She nodded goodnight and Mannis stared back at the window. As her footsteps faded, Mannis rubbed his wrist where she had held him. He tried to process what had happened and understand the mind of Jess Polaris.

There was only one thing more confusing than that woman; the statement that Mannis Malek wasn’t expendable.