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Coming of Age East Asian Teens & Young Adult

“You only have three months left to the audition for the K-Pop Contest. The judges will hand pick winners to join the group to become the next K-Pop Star,” said Baek Myung Seol’s father. “I hope you are up to the mark, you might need more rehearsals before and after school.”

“Yes!” exclaimed Seol the starry eye kid who wanted to be an ‘Idol’ since he saw his favourite K-pop group BTS five years back. He studied at Busan Public School and was one of the top students. He loved to dance and imitated Michael Jackson through his recorded performances. He even enjoyed rapping and followed his favourite singers both national and international.

Seol was 12 when his father Baek Myung took him to watch a BTS concert when they performed in Busan. Tickets were cheap and Seol asked his father to go to watch ‘The Army’ perform live. Baek agreed and with his beautiful wife Gung Myung and Seol went to the concert. There amid the crowd, blocking his vision Seol said, “Dad pick me up!”

Baek grabbed Seol and plopped him on his shoulders, there he saw. The shining stage with wonderful colours. Thousands sang with the performers.

‘This is the best feeling ever,’ thought Seol all the while smiling in a trance. He pumped his arms in the air and cheered for them throughout the concert. That day was special for Seol the music, dance and energy made a core memory for him.

Since that day he decided to become a K-pop star and followed a strict routine. He woke up at 5:00 AM and freshened up after which he went to dance practice and singing lessons.

At 8:00 AM he ate breakfast and went to school. At 2:00 pm he came from school straight to rap practices with some groups nearby his house. He ate his lunch in a cheap café. There he learnt about Rap history and crafting the art. The different styles inspired him; he went home around 7:00 PMand to finish his homework. He ate dinner by 9:00 pm and went to sleep by 9:30 PM, repeating everything the next day. 

He had followed this routine for three years since he decided to take K-Pop seriously.

It was the day of the audition, every year the K-pop fest took place and, thousands compete. Seol’s parents wished him luck and dropped him off at the entrance of the concert hall.

After an excruciating, six hours wait Seol was up, and his bones shook. He felt a strange adrenaline rush through his veins. He entered the stage and greeted the judges by bowing his head and taking his position on the stage. 

The music played and he danced his heart out. There were a few nods from the judges. After the dance, he rapped a poem that he made.

"I'm the next K-pop star, watch me rise, 

Shining like a diamond in the midnight skies. 

I'm breaking barriers, gonna make 'em see, 

The passion and the talent that's inside of me.

From the small town streets to the city lights, 

I've been honing my skills, pushing through the fights. 

No matter the obstacles that come my way,

I'll conquer them all, won't let 'em lead me astray,

I've studied the legends, the ones who paved the road, 

Taking inspiration, making it my own code. 

I'm bringing something fresh, a flavour they've never seen, 

Combining rap and dance, breaking the routine."

The audition ended and Seol went home. After three days a letter arrived at his home accepting his selection in the K-pop group. He was livid and packed his bags and was off to training camp. There are five more people in his group making him one of six in ‘Sinister Six’ the K-pop group. They would wake up each day at head straight to the practice rooms. Practice rooms were these big empty rooms and had one wall covered with mirrors.

There he would stretch and start performing. The dance routine required every move to be precise. Picking and landing on the beat, muscles contracting and expanding. Arms stretching to reach the desired point creating that perfect step. The ending exhausted Seol.

Ryeo was the Sinister Six team manager and after the team’s first practice, he called Seol near him. Seol trotted to him Ryeo shouted, “Can’t you see your arms aren’t moving, are you a dancer or here to pass time?”

Seol’s eyes widened, his knees jerked a ball of shame rose from his gut. He was never scrutinised like this. He looked around at other shocked faces of his group members. 

He asked him to go back to his position, his mind was completely blank and the manager asked them to take a five. He thought that this would be once in a blue-moon situation. He was wrong each day came with even more harsh treatments and destructing talks. 

During the dance rehearsals, his manager would nit-pick his foot positions. While his vocal artist would call him out on a very faint voice with no character.

‘Wow, there goes that special talent I conquered I had.’ Seol thought.

The debut was in six months. They spent every waking moment dancing, singing, and acting. They took personality lessons on how to appear on camera and what to say. 

There were restrictions on speaking for two hours after waking up to the singers. Only after stretching and drinking some water, they practised singing. 

Each member had a strict diet of 1500 calories with meat and veggies. It was good enough but nothing fancy. 

They recorded the music after four months of starting out. They had to record the music video in another month.

It was horrible when the team had to record the music video. They did not sleep for two days straight and only had water as a diet. The team members were “required” to eat less so that he could fit inside his leathery costume.

His manager was a constant pain in the ass as he pointed out Seol's or his team members mistakes. They would let go of the everyday taunts and move passed them. 

After the release of the music video, it gained traction on YouTube. It was not a much-known platform back then but still, some dedicated viewers and fans heard the song. 

Seol’s training still went on. He felt like watched his life go by in gruesome training where he felt drained all the time and never had any energy. 

He wanted to go home and end this harsh training that went on each day but he couldn’t let go of his dream. He thought, “If only I could perform in front of an audience people will love me and that would make this worth it.”

He pushed on, day and night. He used to practice dance routines all morning and singing lessons all afternoon. He took extra classes to better his English for singing and had a dialect coach and only slept for four hours. His teammates thought Seol had lost it. 

But this is how a K-pop star said Ryeo and seemed proud of Seol. Seol took it as a compliment and worked until it was the concert night.

10,000 people gathered in the arena and it was jam-packed. Completing the rehearsals Seol lead the group. They arrived at the venue a bit nervous and tired but Seol seemed to hopped hoped up on caffeine and was jumpy. 

After the concert, Seol fainted and they had to take him to the hospital for extreme exhaustion. Seol woke up after 18 hours and his mom was sitting beside him all teary.

As he gained consciousness his mother hugged and kissed him on his face. Seol’s father entered the room with some food and was happy at the sight of seeing his son waking up.

Seol had discharged a day late. He headed to the training all happy and excited to see the ranking of their K-pop group. To his shock, they were not even top 20 but all the way at ranking 303. 

He was in disbelief and read the paper at least ten times crosschecking their rankings. His manager Ryeo looked ready to tear them a new one. Seol couldn’t handle it and took his belongings and ran out of the room and he kept running until he was home. It took him 90 minutes to reach home and once he did he went straight to his bed and locked his room.

Seol’s parents got startled to see him home and went to check on him but he wouldn’t open his door. It didn't take long for them to figure it out since the agency called them to tell them he ran away. Seol’s mom confirmed Seol was home and hung up the phone.

After three days Seol won’t come out of the room and would only open the door when it was lunchtime. He hardly ate anything. 

Finally one day Baek climbed through Seol’s window sitting on the sill and brought two bowls of ice cream,

He said, “If you have sulked enough come eat some ice cream with your old man.”

“Go away.” Seol muttered.

“Son, I know you are hurting but you worry us get up I want to tell you something.” 

Seol got up from his bed and ambled to his window. The sun was setting and their lawns sparkled in the evening golden light. 

“Son, what you did was amazing, how you performed and commanded the crowd, I can’t be more proud of you.”

“You have to say that, since you are my father.”

“Perhaps, but what happened if you aren’t no. 1, you can always work towards it.”

Seol pursed his lips. “I am not sure if I can continue to work day and night, it felt like the thing I loved to do was maths homework.”

“Ah, that can happen,”

“So what should I do, I have no idea?” 

“You know I majored in Chemistry, that’s where I and your mom met, I later changed my major to English.”

Seol was silent.

“I am 37 years old and even I have the thought about what should I do and how should I create my legacy?” Baek paused. “The point is children of your age have more than a decade to find out who they are and work out their passions.”

“Finding out your passion or changing your field isn’t wrong but waiting and giving up to find is”

Seol relaxed his shoulders and ate a bite of ice cream, soon he finished the whole bowl in under a minute. He sighed and looked more relaxed.

He apologised to his father for worrying them and both watched the sun set eating some more ice cream.

June 10, 2023 02:40

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