The blue gray room, Behind

The blue gray room, behind

The librarian looks over the library. She walks up and down and turns toward the wall and stares for a couple of seconds. She goes to her desk. Someone approaches her carefully.

         “Hi I am a student of the arts. I take that back. Not the student part. The ‘arts’ part but I don’t want to say I’m a student of the occult. Too controversial.”

The three students sitting at the desk behind him chatter a little to each other. One student, Tim, speaks softly “Hey Rick how are you doing?” Forget your course of study already. " The other two students nod at Rick. The librarian glances at the boys who turn quickly to look at wall for a moment; the same wall the librarian looked at. However, it is now Rick’s turn to look. This was his decision. Maybe.

         Rick, then continues. “I am studying recent literary history and I could use a book when communication began to make its mark in this part of the country.” He pauses. "It's really for a story I have to write. He watches the librarian check her files and then carefully turns toward the same part of the wall that she and the other three boys glanced at. He ponders “I wonder if I can find something behind that wall that will help me with this paper.” He laughs softly but then notices another person to the left of the three boys quickly scan the wall and turn back and then shakes her head back and forth. The librarian returns with three or four call numbers and directions for each one. He scans the library.

         Rick walks around the library searching for the books, going down each aisle indicated by call the number However, the call number he appears to hear the most is the call from the blue and gray wall which the other people looked at for only seconds. The voice Rick hears says softly “I am but a lonely room, unattended, unnoticed, but I can meet your needs and offer you services, perhaps even more intricate than the other rooms.” Rick notices a couple of people at a desk next to the three guys where a young man and a woman quickly scan the blue gray wall as if they are not sure what’s behind it. Rick walks slowly toward it, then stops.

         Two things come to mind to Rick as he continues his search. One. The blue gray color of the wall has been noticed by himself, and from what he can see, by the other people. Two. What Rick heard to himself about meetings needs and offering services, is something he probably has thought he might say in a more friendly encounter. However, he then says to himself “The part about being more intricate than the others is something he would not attest to. He laughs at his thoughts and the idea that others seem to notice the same thing he notices, but he is the one that may act upon the notion. Rick thinks to himself from 8 months ago. Come on Rick, he we are at the assembly in school and you were the only one to go seek out information And three months ago. “Rick I got to tell you, I wouldn’t have looked for more explanation on why we were placed in this part of the classroom.” He now is faced with a more bewildering dilemma. Nobody is there to encourage nor discourage him to look behind the wall, but he knows he’ll look.

         The young lady that shakes her head back and forth when quickly scanning the wall looks at it again, then at Rick. Another lady joins her and says “Hi, Jan, are you looking at that guy or the wall or what is behind. Rick then looks back quickly, wondering what she meant, but then when she continues with a humorous reference on how ladies of that type look behind what is in front of them, Rick is relieved, for a moment. Then Rick looks at the wall, and wonders. “Others have looked at this wall and then probably made a few remarks about looking beyond what they see, but are probably not referring to what is behind the wall. “This doesn’t restore my serenity or fortitude to look anyway”, he says to himself.

         Time seems to go faster and faster as Rick looks around at everyone and then decides to make his move, knowing that no one is really watching him.

  He goes near the wall and enters what appears to be another room. “An extra reading room, is that is what this is for, he tells himself. Rick circles the room and sees books that he hasn’t seen in the library for weeks. “Maybe the unused or unnoticed books end up here. Sounds odd, but I am here, and I am. He stops. “Let’s have none of that” he whispers to himself. He looks back into the library and notices what he believes to be a halt in time. Everyone for a few seconds seemed to have slowed down, almost to a stop. “Just my imagination and mind working overtime”, Rick thinks to himself. Rick looks around the room like a young child, or a young detective, or a younger eager teen, all seeking further education and insight. Time seems to go real slow and kind of waves back and forth, but Rick knows this is just his way of adjusting to the new environment. Rick scrutinizes some of the articles and recognizes a few books and magazines that he thought the library had discarded.

         45 seconds go by and the other people in the library give a quick look to the direction of the room. The objects in the library seem shapeless, then take shape.

  Several people look at the wall, nod, or shake their head, as if they had possibly suspected there was a room, but almost as fast, they reject the idea. Rick thinks back to one week ago. “Rick, you sure were intuitive figuring out there was area behind these dividers that we can go to gain some indication of what project we might be given for our assignment." Rick remembers the other three boys and wished they were wrong, because now he seems to have that intuitive emotion again. But this was in a library, where no one else seems to have noticed any room, i although they all appear to be wondering or implying some type of inquisition.

         Rick walks around the room and slowly, cautiously, walks out and then he begins to shake his head to himself, nod, gesture his hands to one side, and lean forward a little bit. He notices two or three other people in the library doing one of those same things as he looked at them after peering at the wall. Rick walks to the librarian who was talking to someone in need of locating a book. They both look at Rick, giving an eerie glance like they know he has been somewhere, a room where no one was really in, but somehow had a feeling was there. The person then leaves and Rick looks at the librarian who can see that he has two books in his hand. “Will she notice these are not the books that she gave direction to? He asks himself, realizing there will be no answer. “Will there be no answer, because there is no answer? He asks himself. Then suddenly, before any more peculiar questions taunt him, Rick says to the librarian, “You have quite a selection here, and I don’t mean just books and magazines, and newspapers, but where to find them, and someone could use." Before he finishes his sentence, Rick and the librarian both say cautiously “The extra room space.” The librarian begins to say, as Rick walks away “I thought there was a room behind that wall too, and I guess, most others did too."

         Rick then thinks back to three days ago “Rick we all thought there was something in that area of that part of the room that we would find interesting. You set us straight.”

         Rick walks slowly toward the blue gray wall which appears to be fading in color and blending in with the greenish white color of the rest of the library. Perhaps everyone saw what I saw, or thought they saw, or they only considered the thought of seeing something. The librarian said she thought it was a room. Someone else maybe thought it was something else at one time, and then decided, a room was the most logical, and most mysterious choice, and you know what they often say in libraries. The librarian is the last to know, when I’m not here. I came, I read, I conjured. Conjured up a room. For what I know about myself. I have a lively imagination, and sometimes I need the extra space. The other people in the library glance quickly at the blue wall to the room and quickly at Rick, and then, as if they came in together, walk steadily to the librarian. “This is not exactly where I came in.” Rick whispers to himself. “But this is where I go out,” he whispers, a little louder and clearer. He goes to the blue wall to take one last look, but he figures he might not see it exactly as it was. It is the same, for a moment, then the room seems to fade into the wall. 'My imagination did that, and with a little help from my friends, who complimented my intuitive insightful perspective." Rick thinks to himself. Rick then looks around the library and expresses a note of thanks, and a note of relief at the thought that he would be leaving the library soon. Rick thinks of all the situations he had been in where he had some discerning perceptiveness and he was with a few friends that approved of his wit and awareness. He asks “I wonder if these guys, with their nods and other affirmative signals, similar to the people here at the library, wanted something in return.” Rick sees the line forming toward the librarian and she tends to each of them, and when Rick approaches, he envisions that they all thank him for his trip to the backroom, but this lasted only two seconds. Rick knows what he can conjure up in his head in two seconds.

         The objects in the library, seemingly shapeless, now take shape, but this time, instead of 45 seconds, it is 15 seconds, marking the end of his day.

         Rick then thanks the librarian and looks back at the blue wall. “I guess you are someone else’s problem now. Someone with my instability but proactive insight, and my quest for extra room space.” However, maybe this room was just for me, but in that case, I will share it with the world. He walks out realizing this was probably just some type of illusion but that distorted sense of time he noticed, slow, very slow, coming to a halt, fast, faster, that’s more like my experiences. Rick looks back to the library and notices for two seconds, time has appeared to come to a halt, but then he says “That’s probably the only thing that did happen today, a quick break in time, but a room to take a break, that’s another story. However, Rick says softly to himself. "But I saw it.’ I do have a story.”