Here's A, "Dog-Gone" Funny, "Tale" For A Dog

Her'es A, "Dog-Gone" Funny, "Tale" For A Dog

Once upon a time in a huge matropoliss called Danville, Va. lived a stray puppy. His owner wasn't expecting their dog to have a bunch so they didn't even worry giving him a name. It seamed all they did was yell at both of their dogs since they had no business with even owning any pet. They were inherritted by his mom who had suddenly gone Home to see her Maker and she didn't think about what to do with her dog's 6 puppies. Since they were always making a mess in his house and they were all trashy creatures they truly earned the title of, "a litter." Their owner was a grumpy old man who had been a doctor except he got mad at his people so frequently he couldn't keep a business because he kept losing his, "patients."

Then one day he got fed up with having to pay a lot of money on food, vet bills, treats, toys, paper towels, air freshener and other things that are needed when raising puppies, he finally threw them out of his house. That meant they were officially homeless. They didn't ask for that but they were still each, "a-stray" in every sense of the words. They were fortunate just to not get pounded by going to, "the pound." At any rate, the puppies were all on their own, surviving on garbage from people's trash cans.

They spent their lives running from the doggy police, more commonly referred to as dog catchers. Finally one of the puppies got separated from the others when they were running form what they called, "the pounder." Since they were mixed-breads, most people didn't want to own a dog that wasn't a pedigree. Life was quite hard for him.

Then one day he happened to see an 8 year-old boy named Sidney. He was walking home from school since his house was just a few blocks away when he saw what looked like to him, a fir-ball with legs, a tail and a head. He had no neighbors in the place where he lived and lived with his daddy, who definitely was not a dog-lover by any stretch of the imagination. He was new in the hood and so he was really shy about meeting any friends. That was hard on his mom, who was recently separated from her husband because he was 2-timing her with another woman. At any rate, Sidney was quite shy and didn't make friends easily. He needed somebody in his life to spend time with because both of his parents had to work in the afternoons. That's when he saw the little fir-ball with legs.

"Well, hay, big-guy!" he said smiling as he neeled over to scratch him behind his ear, "You're the cutest thing I've seen all day! Now, don't you have a home or an owner?"

The little fit-ball with legs just wagged his tail, ecstatic to find somebody who would actually love on him a little bit.

"It looks like you need a home, buddy," he continued while picking him up and holding him high over his head, "I sure could use a little k-9 companion like you in my life!"

As he picked up the little dog and began carrying him back to his house, he was so fixed on how the dog's face had a look of ecstasy all over it. "Gee! I'll bet you have some wild stories to tell me judging from how it looks like you've had a rough time! I sure do wish you could talk!"

To Sidney's amazement, the dog replied, "Well, I've been looking for somebody to listen to me! I've finally found it!"

Since Sidney was 8 years-old and believed in any kind of magic, he laughed and said, "How did you learn to talk?"

"Well, I started off with, 'gah-gah' and worked my way up to, 'din-din!' How did you learn how to talk smarty-pants?" replied Darn-It while shaking his head and wagging his tail.

"well, if you can talk," said Sidney quite ecstaticley, "We can get into show-business! You can get your own talk-show on t v! This is terrific! Who else have you talked to?"

"Many people," said Sidney, "all dogs tell people what they need and want, but the people don't listen!"

Sidney took Darn-It home, but when his mom saw him enter the house holding him, she yelling, "Get that dog out of here! You know that your daddy hates those things!"

Yet when Darn-It said, "Well, I bet he'll like me! How many dogs have you seen who can actually talk, Cutey?"

The next sound was Sidney's mom hitting the floor in a faint. After reviving her with smelling-salt, he told her the story of how they'd met. She was tickled pink, even though purple was her favorite color. It filled the other 2 parties with a great deal of joy. They made plans of how they'd go on tour singing when Darn-It learned the words to some songs. Sidney's daddy was only too happy to have him join his family. They were all seeing green pieces of paper with Ulissees S. Grant and the number 50 on them. His daddy was seeing the same thing except with those green pieces of paper having Woodrow Wilson on them. He's on the $100,000.00 bill, which they don't even make any more.

Yet when Sidney was taking him for a walk, some drunk driver veered off the road and hit both of them. Sidney was rushed to the hospital. His dog was rushed to the nearest dog clinnick. Sidney was more worried about his special dog then anything. When the nurses asked him why, he told them he could talk. They thought he was dilerious and patted him on the head saying, "Sure. Don't worry about your dog. W'ell be sure he can play tennis after he gets out of here." Then they shook their heads. When they left the e. r., they all laughed and shook their heads. When they asked the dog's name he said, "Darn It." Then they smiled and told each other he couldn't even remember his own dog's name, but they still wanted to save his life anyway since that's what that doctor's job is.

Yet when they checked on him, the dog had no pulse and was stiff and cold. He was obviously dead. As they covered him with a blanket and put him in a box they laughed at what Sidney had told them about him being able to talk. Still they put his lifeless body into a box and prepared to bury him. Then they turned their attention to Sidney's recovery, who was so insistent that he was fine the doctors discharged him. They told him his dog wasn't savable, but he was so insistent to see his body they sighed and gave it to him. Of course, he was absolutely crushed.

Then he remembered reading in the Good Book, "All things are possible through Christ," and "If we ask anything according to His will, He heareth us, and if we know that He heareth us, whatsoever we ask believing He will grant us the desires of our hearts." That was when he prayed harder then he'd ever prayed for anything in his life, he also believed it was the Lord's will for his precious, unique dog to live. By then, poor Darn It was stiff. He was quite dead, but Sidney continued praying, believing that the almighty One would heal his k-9 buddy back to health.

The doctors dismissed him from the hospital and they gave him the box with his stiff, lifeless body in it. When he got home, he cried while digging a grave for his beloved dog and placed him in a box. The tears were poring.

Just as he closed the box, he heard a voice yell, "Hay! Who turned out the lights? I can't breathe in here or breathe in here! Somebody please let me out!"

Sidney paused for a few seconds then frantically took a hammer and commenced to pulling out the nails that held the box shut. When he'd gotten all of them pulled out, which he did within a few seconds, his sorrow turned to ecstasy when Darn-It extended his paws frowning, but when he saw Sidney was there, his mouth went from an n shape into a u shape. In other words, the corners of his mouth pointed north instead of south. He quickly picked up Darn-It and hugged him until Darn-It said, "Hay! That's enough already! I'm glad to see you too, pal! Thank you for letting me out of that box! If I had wanted to box then I'd have called on who's the boxing champion!"

The joy spent between them was unspeakable and full of glory. They both laughed and cried tears of utter joy, in spite of Darn-It having no tear ducts. Then they contacted some talent scouts in Hollywood and got on their shows.

That was how Sidney and Darn-It became world-famous and traveled the globe while surprising and mystifying all the people who saw them performing. Later with Sidney's know-how and Darn-It's show-how they became mighty rich and famous indeed. As for Sidney, he never lacked for anything ever again since his world-famous talking dog traveled the globe, spreading joy and laughter everywhere they went. And so, as the best-written children's story of all time will officially finish up with that famous line,

"THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!"

By, Cuz Roye, ....1-434-849-8268. (Please call me some-time, or call me, "Cuz"). Thank you very much.