Where is my horizon!

I drove to the edge of the cliff LongHope in my rented camper van. This was the most unplanned journey. Prior to setting out on this sojourn, I was going through a mind-set shift and an inner turmoil, fired for a new beginning. Yes, also a sudden inner urge to get going and adventure. Seven years prior to this day, my son was young and innocent, so I had to be around him to care for and nurture him. As he was coming to 20 now, a man of his own thoughts and actions.  The breaking of innocence had happened a few years before. I visualised the ignorance of life turning into innocence again but with the awareness of the Universe in him. Today when he planned and pioneered my trip, it heartened me to see this bright, enthusiastic, kind man protecting me his mother. He alternated between encouragement when I had native motherly tantrums and at the very next moment resorted to taunting me.  I have always been a person wishing to chase the horizons and beyond.

Then before my intellect and logical mind could take over, my son had helped me load the camper van. It was to be my home for the journey and adventure of the next few days.

There was fear of the unknown, which gradually transformed to the excitement of a young child.

Along the drive, I opened my eyes and cast my heart to even the smallest of things with renewed freshness mixed with that natural blend of curiosity and enthusiasm. Younger days Earlier that would have merely been a cursory glance. Now, looking through a new lens – I enjoyed every minute of the drive, stopping wherever my whims and fancies willowed me. I drove through pristine hills, small gurgling cool rivulets, hillocks, valleys, sun & rain to get to LongHope. Time took this warped turn, two days seemed stretched to nothingness. As I neared my destination, I felt a sense of separation from the rest of the world but a paradoxical sense of oneness with where I had reached.  

I cannot even begin to find words to describe the splendour that surrounded me, but I must share the experience to what best I can. A vision of the Universe condensing all its mysterious wonders into one geodesic dome. In earthly parlance the Earth’s very own personal museum, a unique one of a kind.

There seemed to be infinite surprises that brought immense joy in my heart. As if the Universe had employed one of its myriad ways to enliven and enlighten me. I had this spark of a moment when I decided I would splurge on this lifetime experience. I was going to surprise my young, innate self and engage my senses wholly. Just when I was mesmerised at the macrocosmic nature of the wonder that I beheld, a parallel one beckoned me.

The first step in my adventure was in the shape of a narrow bridge. The bridge was not the regular geometrically proportioned one. It was a gnarled, old and aged tree that had laid itself across from one edge of the cliff to the other side as though it knew it had to be there for the convenience of adventurers.

 The tree must have been over 150 years old. It swayed ever so slightly in the wind or so I imagined. Must I take the walk across the bridge? No, I wanted to turn back. But on pausing to reflect, this “No” would shape my future regret. So yes, I chose to take my first foray into the unknown. I held onto the ropes on both sides of the bridge gingerly walking over it. The first few steps were nervous and shaky. Then I looked down beneath my feet. I was instantly reassured that I was not far up and above the ground. And what I saw below was this beautiful gurgling river and suddenly I relaxed into myself letting go. A sense of joy coursed through my being. I felt as though as I was a prodigal daughter returning home. After I had walked along the bridge for a few minutes it veered into a cluster of dignified and magnificent trees.

Just when I thought there could be no more surprises, I saw this small entrance to a cave. Caves are strange places. To me, it always felt as though they take the very nature of the person who walks into it. In the past I have not been comfortable to walk into one, for sure. But now I took the first step with steely resolve.

I surrendered into the dark entrance holding my arms in front of me. My hands started to feel moist, and I could smell the dampness vividly. I opened my eyes gradually and the sheer magnificence that I witnessed rooted, awed and spiralled me all at once into pure bliss.

I felt everything around me stop moving. I was frozen in space-time. Looking to one side of the cave up top, a waterfall was pouring down thudding onto the cave floor. A glossy, deep curtain, shimmering like crystals in the light roaring its entrance into the cave. The biggest gift to a thirsty wayward soul. I felt the shining spray of water cleanse and wash away past fears and worries.

This journey did not have a destination I intuited. I seemed to have morphed into a new being with that one vision mesmerising me into the ecstasy of rebirth. My feet would not move, rooted into the same spot – and then another source of light shone through. It seemed to be from the other side of the shimmering crystal water. I moved and glided through that sheet of water. When I came through, I felt the surge of energy coursing through my body. A blessing from beyond, my many pasts gently handing me over to the present. A gift for me to walk with openness into an unknown yet empowered beautiful future.

What began as my unplanned adventure was a precise plan of the Universe to venture into the beyond!