For Sure

Today on top news, COVID-19 Vaccines have been given out to everybody. The world is coming out of lockdown. Let's hear in a report from-

"Yo! Alyan! We can breath again! You have no idea how excited I am. We're going out at night to the bar, you want to hop along?"

"I'll see, but you can carry on with your plans."

"Ugh, stop being a pain in the arse and tag on."

"Don't push it Daniel-"

"Fine. But consider my offer."

He winks at Alyan and leaves the living room.

Alyan is 20 years of age and lives with his roommate Daniel, while both of them have gone through a lot together; from lockdown to getting the virus then also recovering from it. Daniel lived with abusive adoptive parents beforehand while Alyan had a loving family, so the idea of a lockdown was pretty soothing for Daniel but not Alyan.

Alyan makes his way through the hallway into his room, within the, 2 bedroom, kitchen, and living room, apartment they share. He enters his white aesthetic bedroom, and peers over his translucent, net curtains, then struggles to get to them through his pile of books.

While others did gaming and cooking, Alyan developed an interest in books and ordered all types of books until he found his particular fondness for biographies and skillset books.

He pulls away the curtains from the window and tangles them to their resting position, while the sun shines bright on the park right in front of his house. It looks like the perfect scenery to sketch; he was pretty good at sketching, but his urge did not take over today because right this moment, he is preoccupied with something else to think. He peers over the right and left of his building, it is silent.

He thinks

“This silence will be non-existent at night. The silence that is so loud right now, will be taken over by nonsense. Chatter. Chaos. And the world will be non-existent for everybody. It will be them again. Making it hard for the Earth to breath-”

Just then, Daniel knocked on the door.

“Can we talk?”

“Sure, come in!”

“Hey! If something’s wrong, you can talk to me about it.”

“Nothing’s wrong. If there was, you’d be the first one to know Dan.”

“Alright.”

And just as he was about to leave,

“I-

“I’ll just leave you to it.”

And he left with a smile.

Then Alyan said to himself,

“I’m going to the party. It’ll be a blast. And I need a break from myself.”

He now goes to the kitchen to look for food. It is 3 O’Clock, way past their lunch time but he forgot today was his turn to cook. He immediately wears the brown checker apron and flips through the cookbook to look for recipes. He tries something Asian today, more specifically, Pakistani cuisine considering Dan is half Pakistani. He flips through the book and finds his mouth-watering on a page that says Biryani. He makes the Biryani and tastes it.

BWAKH!

He added sugar instead of salt! He’s a terrible cook.

Shit! He thinks. He immediately throws it all, and dials up the number of a restaurant closest to their apartment. He orders pizza, and wings, devouring them when they arrive.

It was 9 PM now in Los Angeles and Alyan and Dan were ready. They car-pool with Dan’s friends to the nearest, cheap, bar. The bartender served everybody and has now come to Alyan. He did not feel like drinking today so he skipped.

One hour later everybody was tipsy and laughing at nonsense while the smell and suffocation inside the bar was at a verge. He took refuge outside. He was not used to being with so many people; it had been 1 year since the lockdown, and it felt weird. Outside he consumed himself in thoughts, when Dan tapped on his shoulder. His lockdown reflex startled him and pulled away, then he realized it was post-pandemic. Daniel was leaning over, about to fall over. He supported Dan and booked a taxi which took him to his doorstep. It was one heck of a journey from the building door to the apartment foot. Dan was now completely relying on Alyan’s support.

The taxi driver offered to help but Alyan did not feel it right to let him. He carried him to the bed in Dan’s room.

Daniel’s girlfriend came over the next morning to check up on him. He hadn’t been up yet. In the lockdown period his girlfriend was not allowed inside the apartment so it felt very weird to let her inside the house but he had to constantly remind himself to forget the lockdown period.

He resides in his room and opens his laptop. A notification pops up. It reads,

Ranging with emptiness,

To the deeps and shallows.

No fears of drowning,

No shakes of gallows. 

Enduring with emptiness,

To the fallows,

Into mallows. 

No fright of snapping. 

No more shallows.

And when u sigh, being vulnerable;

"I can't help myself."

"Let me?" 

"And then?" 

~Aroob Khalid Burney

And just then he knew. He had to let go. He thinks, more like asks himself,

“Do I believe the lockdown should not have happened at all? Do I believe the outcome should have been different? Did I believe the situation is impossible to get over?”

He finds himself speechless by his own thoughts.

Then he opens one of his meditation groups’ to get some help. He finds one message he starred,

“Truth be told, inner peace begins the moment you pause and choose not to allow an uncontrollable event to dominate you in the present. You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become in this moment. Let go, and then begin…”

He looks at it, He reads it, Again. And, Again. He realizes.

I need to let go of what happened in the lockdown. I need to start over, I need to reinvent myself.

And just then, he had the courage.

We are people of the Earth, made to adapt. Just like we faced the pandemic, we can get through it, just with the hope of seeing a better tomorrow. Let’s all build the courage and resilience to get through. Your response to a circumstance is what matters. Your perspective has power over you, so mold it well. When you put your mind to something, all the resources available, every step of life leads you to it, if it’s with a pure heart and firm dedication-that I know for sure.

~Syeda Waniyah Zarrar