"No, no you weren't an alcoholic. You sometimes drank too much."
said the therapist to his patient that he had helped for over 15 years and realizing that he had to unload his patient. Can you imagine paying off your mortgage as a result of helping someone cope with the pain of unresolved issues in their lives? There is something called a guilty conscience, ladies and gentlemen! In this case it struck Scot, Mr. Scott Zwingli when he realized that he looked forward to some of his patients more than he did his wife sometimes!
Agnes had been his patient since she was in college. It was her reaction to solve and find out the reasons why she slept with her African Studies professor. When he first met her she was demure, and shy. She barely wanted to acknowledge that she had done a bad thing by sleeping with a married man. The fact that he was a professor was not important in the scheme of things but to her it was the prime reason why she had to visit Scott. She did not see herself as a fame fatale, damsel in distress type or a sinner. She saw herself as an innocent student who was in college to earn a degree. We are unsure at what point his office hours merged into "take my bra off" session.
It goes without saying that if we did not understand it, probably she was more in the dark than we were hence the need to see a Psychiatrist. And that Psychiatrist was Mr. Scott, the one and only Dr. Scott.
Well, Mr. Scott was a timid young man who had a conscience. He was short and unassuming, with an intelligence of a fox. He caged his patients and turned them into well oiled machines. Because Agnes had been his patient for so many years, in his mind he felt that he was a failure. But he wasn't. Some people have highly charged lives and need assistance navigating those lives and Agnes was one of those people, those poor souls.
When he first met Agnes he thought to himself that someone was playing a joke on him. She needed help, yes, but she was unusual. Her sort of women never sought therapy. What was wrong with this picture, he thought to himself. He even hired a private investigator to find out the briefings of who Agnes was, if at all he needed; "Security!"
"Well, doctor, I am in this History class, and there is this cute professor..."
Scott: "Oh , boy....!
Scott:' what does this professor say in class that makes you see me today?"
Agnes: "Dr., he is so cute, he is so smart, and my mom says..."
Scott:" wait a minute, your mom says, were you not in class when you met your professor? do you attend classes with your mom?"
Agnes: "You are right, Sir, anyway, my mom is not even in the same state where I go to college. Why did you ask me about my mom. I was talking about my professor, Oh! he is soooo cute!"
Scott: "Can I meet your professor or do you have a photo of him, so that we can start on an equal footing?"
Agnes;" Oh here, I have a picture of him. We were in class and I took a selfie with him."
Scott:" Now, that's great! What are the odds!! (attention shoppers! we are dealing with a nitwit! he takes selfies with girls that he will later bed and he is their teacher! He will grade their work later. Later after the act. The Act get it!).
instead; Scott: "he doesn't look, so bad! compared to you, you and him together, you make quite a pair. He is married, right? His wife, his wife must be female right? Is she or he female... at least?"
Agnes: "She is shit, that is all I will say about that. Enough about her. I am feeling very guilty because I feel like I took advantage of a situation that I should not have. Can you help me sort that out?"
Scott amazed that she had a conscience, maybe I can help this brat, he thought to himself..."what do you mean."
Agnes: " I mean, I controlled the situation by asking to meet with him knowing how I felt about him. I thought I could test my luck."
Scott: "You did, and what were your findings?"
Agnes: "That I liked him a lot and I wanted to spend time with him outside the class even after I finished his class."
Scott: "well, when you realized that you couldn't, what happened?"
Agnes: "What do you mean?"
Scott: "because, if you could have him, you would not be talking to me today. you would be talking to a different doctor. like, a doctor who helps spouses who met the love of their lives while the other was still married to someone else. do you know about that self-help group?"
Agnes: "Who said anything about marriage and love?"
It went on like this for a decade until Dr. Scott was able to erase the memory of the: "Professor". It was almost a decade long discussion which one day explained to Agnes that, The Professor, probably met girls like her every semester! For poor Agnes, it took about a decade to understand that!
Agnes: "why did this happen to me and not my friend? Is it because of my looks? I mean my life is easier because of what I look like. People are nice to me because of the way that I look. Also, I get all that I aim for, because of my family. If I was someone else, would the professor have reacted differently? Can I have a relationship and feel safe in a relationship?"
Scott; (wait a minute, from cheating to reverence, will I have a relationship!!!!! what is this? Are you crazy? You are: "how do you feel about your dad, about men in general? How did you feel when your dad pointed a hose with water to your poor mom while she was trying to barbecue hot dogs in your backyard. That's who you are!"
Scott: "do you feel confident to be in a safe relationship with an unsuspecting man?"
Agnes: "Should I tell him that I had an affair with a married man?"
Scott: " No, you should tell him that you had sex with your professor while you attended his class and he was married!"
Agnes: " I am canceling my next session, I will call to reschedule!"
Agnes: "i have not seen you in so long. i actually needed some clarity. i think that i am ready to talk to you now."
Scott: "I bet. How are you doing? Do you feel at this point, that you need some medication or you are fine? What have you been up to?"
Agnes: "actually i am fine. i understand where you are coming from, now. i think that i was trying to tell you that i drank too much when i was in college. i also slept around with a lot of men, but for some reason, i fell in love with my professor and it turned my life around."
Scott: "-----Because you respect, respected your professor. He also was an authority figure that was in your life, that interrupted your soul searching needs. You unfairly made him responsible for your altered mental state, and used him as a scapegoat."
Agnes: "that is too much information can I be excused for the day?" she stood up and left. Luckily she talked to the secretary on her way out and scheduled the next appointment. Had she not done that, she was not going to be welcomed to Dr. Scott's presence.
Dr. Scott: "You mentioned something about drinking a lot. Do you want to stop that or you are okay with that?"
Agnes: "I have since recovered from that. I spent years on AA meetings before I had the courage to face that dark time in my life while I was in college."
Dr. Scott: "About your sexual activity index? Sexuality? etc. any concerns?"
Agnes: "I like men. Many men. However, not all men like me. Actually, the truth is that men just want to be chosen, selected, and if you don't call them back, they get disappointed and return back to hunting mode. I didn't know that then. I like all the men that I slept with."