How the Gods stole Christmas

How the Gods stole Christmas.......

Before there was a warmth trapped within the coldness at the end of each and every year 

After there isn’t any amount of blankets or comforter to give any comfort since you’re not longer physically here 

The lights no longer shine as bright as they use to and that glimmer they hold that once upon a time I believed to be magic in the air has now turned into a reflection of all the endless tears 

from the first day of the last month I use to sit up at night making so many wishes yet somehow since you went there now I struggle to survive my worst fears 

The punch de creme doesn’t taste as sweet anymore and I can’t even fake looking forward to what any new year may have in store 

The songs you sang with me that bought me such joy find their way back to catch me bringing much too much more misery 

People say things like you’re happy in heaven and for that I pray but saying you’re in a better place doesn’t make it any easier for me day to day I must say 

Believe me even though I didn’t put our Christmas tree I still look up at the sky every night right under the bright light of the moonshine and smile at the shiniest star thinking how lucky they are 

I’m happy as long as you’re as happy as can be, safe and enjoying your peace but that doesn’t mean it hurts me any less that even when I’m able to sleep and be blessed with you in one of my dreams that you can’t stay 

This is suppose to be holidays the days growing up I spent my nights wide awake too anxious to sleep while I await but they’ve turned into nothing more than more horrible days

I don’t buy people presents again since I spend most of my time now thinking about how much your presence always was and forever will be my biggest gain 

The quiet kitchen screams your name and I try to cook all that you normally do but it never tastes the same 

I look at others with their Mothers and I think to myself what a beautiful world they have to be able to share the cheer with their Mother, herself 

It’s not that for the others I don’t care but honestly it’s that for me the others in comparison to you can never ever be even half as dear 

I faked more smiles this season simply because I’ve realized now that nobody would truly understand my feelings and that alone I find to be enough reason 

I went to the grocery and saw the chocolate tea you’d always make for you, me and daddy but I couldn’t even bare to touch the pack and I walked away abruptly leaving it as it should be

I took a drink or two in hopes to try to get high but for each clink of the glass it’s you I thought of and with every other sip my broken heart started to sink 

from Christmas Eve I avoided daddy like the plague and put everything in place not to be around for forgive me father for now this time I’d sin if I say I’ll stay strong 

my brother wished me a merry ..... a few minutes after Christmas break and while wishing me he hugged me and kissed me on my head kinda like you’d also do whenever I hug you and that caused my fragile self to complete break 

only two gifts I bought and those were for your two parrots because last year I really couldn’t make but this year I remembered the year before when you left the house with all the traffic to get presents only for your parrots sake 

I found some fruits you soaked since I don’t even know how long ago and I decided to bake a fruit cake with your fruits, it came out okay but your styles it doesn’t suits 

one song in particular keeps ringing in my ear “laughing children tug at mr Santa, teddy bears and dolly’s saying MaMa.......” 

I close my eyes and see you cooking away on the kitchen counter singing to me while I sit on the floor just the way every Christmas Eve night into Christmas morning we’d be 

and I don’t know if it’s the song itself or the line “saying MaMa” which makes me want to start screaming and searching for you Ma

Flashbacks of every old years when seconds before the clock strikes 12 you’d leave everything and everybody to go in your room, light an incense and say your prayers 

that last old years I left you home alone with daddy and I remembered calling you minutes before twelve and being so angry when you finally called me back minutes after 12 telling you “lady I only leave a few hours now and you forget me” to which you laughed before you replied “ain’t you know I does have to say my prayers for 12, is you I does pray for first wishing the new year to be everything you deserve Devi”

it kinda feels like that now Mummy for I’ve been calling for far too long but you left everything and everybody to go by your Gods including me 

one of the sayings you told me is that “God always takes the good ones early” and Mummy trust me when I say I swear you who always late, it’s unfair that your Gods called you to come already, for the first time Ma you’re way too early!

God is the creator of everything and everybody including especially you Ma, my greatest blessing, my 1 in a 29 billion Mother who I absolutely blessed to call my Mummy - Sandra Sandy P.M Bassie and death is a part of life which I respect but you leaving me fully Ma never will I ever accept....... 

You’re my brightest light that never stops shining & my ultimate present that never ever stops giving and that’s the way it’ll remain but now Christmas as well as everything else I know will no longer be the same again

written by - abSolutelyArunaB!