The Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

"What are we doing?" Donna asks as she helps mom take out huge, dusty boxes from deep within her closet.

"It’ll be fun," mom answers, blowing the dust off the lids.

“What will be fun? I have homework due tomorrow,” Donna says.

“Homework can wait.”

 I follow them to the living room. They stack the boxes on the table and mom begins unloading it. I look over at Donna, she’s as clueless as I am. Dad walks in with Gavin holding a spinner.

“Do you know what’s going on?” I ask Gavin.

“No clue.”

Mom pulls out a feather boa and medieval-looking hats. Voluminous victorian dresses come out next. Donna and I exchange baffled looks.

“Why do you have all of that?” Gavin questions.

“You’ll see,” dad answers. Mom continues unpacking the boxes, drawing out more unusual pieces. Peplos wrapped in thick plastics, a brown worn doublet, and various historic men and women clothing. Once done, she places the box elsewhere and lays the costumes down on our carpeted floor. She claps her hands together with a thrilled expression on her face. She lets out a content sign and ushers dad to stand next to her.

“So can someone explain what all those are for and why I’m not upstairs doing my homework?” Donna snaps with her arms crossed. I nod, agreeing to what she just said.

“It’s the 14th of May you guys,” dad responds doing jazz hands. Mom’s grinning at him, she looks so proud.

“And--” I say waiting for an explanation. Gavin knits his brows cringing.

“It’s National History Day!” they say in sync. Such parents I have, I thought. The three of us stay silent, unimpressed. Donna immediately pulls out her phone and types. She reads an article. After several scrolls later, she turns her phone and faces it to mom and dad.

“National History Day is an event for students in grades 6-12 in College Park, Maryland--” she pauses. She looks at us puzzled. “MARYLAND,” she repeats. “I’m most certainly sure we don’t live in Maryland,” she adds. She’s getting frustrated.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate it here too,” mom replies. She glances at Donna’s unbothered face. “Oh Donna just give it a chance, it’ll be fun.” “You don’t even like homework.”

Dad hands mom the spinner he was carrying earlier.

“Uhm—since when did we celebrate “National History Day”?” Gavin says with air quotes.

“We had an idea, thought it’d be fun if we turned it into a little game” dad answers. I eye the laid out costumes. Never seen anything so authentic.

“So are we supposed to put those on?—then what?” I ask. Mom pops out a finger meaning AHA!

“Here are the rules to the game,” she begins. She shows us a circle spinner and it’s sectioned into the 8 parts. Each part has a name of someone famous back in the day. “We all take turns spinning the wheel, whichever person it lands on you’ll have to act like them,” she continues.

I subtly roll my eyes, Donna has an uninterested facial expression plastered on her face and Gavin seems like he’s enjoying the idea.

“And so we put those on and act like them?” Gavin asks with a spike of interest in his voice as he points at the clothes.

“Yeah easy peasy,” dad explains.

“Sounds stupid,” Donna scoffs.

“Sounds like fun to me,” Gavin says. Donna glares at him, disappointed. Why’d you say that? She mouths. Gavin shrugs and brushes her off. Mom and dad dismiss her comment.

“So who’s ready for some family fun!” mom and dad say aloud.

“WoOoooOoo!” Gavin shouts raising both his arms.

“Wait—wait, so if this is a game. Then how do we win?” I ask.

“Easy, don’t break character until said time,” mom says.

“Seems serious.”

 I scan the spinner, “Aristotle”, “Queen Victoria”, “Johannes Gutenberg”, et cetera.

“What’s the prize?” Donna finally asks after being an inactive participant.

“Ah, she finally speaks,” dad quips. Donna cracks a tiny smile. “Let’s just say---money,” dad adds nudging mom’s arm, smirking.

“Then I’m a hundred percent in,” Donna says intrigued.

“Ahhh that’s the spirit,” dad says, placing a hand on her shoulder. Then soon enough we begin the game.

                                                 ******

Never have I ever wished to be a princess, yes. Never have I ever wished to be Diana, Princess of Wales, no. And yet here I am in my room putting on what looks like mom’s old, lacy wedding dress with a bendable, plastic tiara on my head.  I look miserable.

I walk out of my room already struggling to close the door because the train keeps getting caught on the door hinge. Donna comes out wearing the massive victorian dress from earlier, she’s obviously Queen Victoria. She pins on a flower crown to complete her look.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” she says, fixing her skirt.

“Tell me about it, tell me I don’t look ridiculous in this,” I respond.

“Well you do,” she giggles.

We hurry back to the living room where dad and Gavin are waiting. Gavin’s wearing the peplos, assuming he’s Aristotle. Dad’s wearing the brown doublet, definitely Gutenberg.

“Don’t you two look wonderful,” dad says chuckling. Gavin’s silently judging us by the way he’s smiling. Mom then strolls in. Her hair is combed and she’s only wearing a white plain dress and a gray blazer over it.

“And who are you suppose-” I ask.

“Anne Frank-- classic,” dad interrupts. He then grabs his phone and sets the timer to 21.00. It’s 18.00 now. God, I have to be in this dress for three whole hours.

“And begin!” mom says, then we all resume to what we usually do, just with different personalities.

                                                 ******

First hour:

Mom and dad boosted my expectations through the roof. I wasn’t expecting “fun” to be this monotonous. We aren’t doing much. Donna’s acting all royal-like, beckoning non-existent servants to come bring her water. Gavin's reciting multiple quotes by Aristotle.

"Those who know, do. Those that understand, teach"

“Be a free thinker and don't accept everything you hear as truth. Be critical and evaluate what you believe in."

It's quite sickening hearing Gavin say the same quotes repetitiously. Meanwhile, I'm not really doing much, it’s better that I just sit because this dress is killing me.

Dad’s talking about his printing knowledge to mom. She’s acting like she cares, she’s also talking about her diary.

“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy,” I hear mom quote. Dad replies in a foreign language I don’t recognize. He’s reading it off of his phone, obviously.

Second hour:

Donna’s getting bored too. I can tell. She’s lying on the other couch with her poofy dress drooping down.

  “Servant, can you please get me a pillow from upstairs, I’m feeling a bit worn out,” she says to me jokingly in a delicate british accent.

    “Well, I’m sorry Queen Victoria, I don’t take orders,” I joke back. We laugh royally, covering our hands over our mouths. Gavin’s strolling around the room dragging the long peplos across the floor. He’s heading to the kitchen searching for something to eat. He comes out with a basket of grapes and eats them one by one.

    Mom and dad are still having a conversation with each other. It’s like they have loads to talk about. I mean I can’t blame them, they have a bond. I start getting cramps all over my body for sitting too long, so I decide to walk around as well. Maybe chime into my parents’ conversation.

“Hello good people, may I ask what you two are discussing?” I ask politely. They both smile.

   “Well, we are just talking about how great today is. Speaking of great, how are you princess?” mom asks.

    “Just wonderful, well I’ll leave you both to it.”

I leave and get something to eat. I open the fridge trying to find edibles but don’t find anything I’m craving for. I close the fridge and my train gets stuck in it again. Bloody dress. Even my thoughts are in british, how funny. I rip it out, leaving a piece of material hanging.

The Last Hour:

The timer strikes 20.00. One more damn hour in this dress.

    Mom rings a bell that catches all our attention.

    “One more hour!” she announces.

    “Psst... But no one’s losing,” I whisper to Donna secretly with my normal voice. She gives me some sort of bewildered look. I lean forward, perplexed.

   “Princess Diana broke character!” she suddenly shouted. I gasp, did she just rat on me.

“Princess Diana is OUT!” dad yells. I set my gaze on Donna, I squint my eyes, shaking my head. You bitch I mouthed. Sorry, she mouthed back. I unzip the back of my dress finally enabling me to breathe normally again. I sit on the stairs doing what I do best, observe.

Nothing’s really happening. Gavin still wandering around the room on his phone, maybe reading. Donna’s interfering mom and dad’s conversation and it looks like they’re having a blast. Ten minutes pass, then twenty, then just fifteen more minutes until this nightmare of a game comes to an end.

Gavin is kneeling beside the table with dozens of candles in front of him.

“I, Aristotle, am going to light all of these candles,” he declares.

    “And what for may I ask?” Donna answers.

  “Well, to me light is a particle given off by the sun,” he says, reciting from his phone. “And well, the sun is fire and fire lights candles,” he continues unscripted.

That makes no sense, I thought, giggling.

   He grabs a lighter and carefully lights the candles one by one. I take my phone from my room and check my notifications. I smile reading all the texts my friends sent me from the past 3 hours. “Where’s Karen??” “What could she possibly be doing?” they texted. I respond and check the clock. Five more minutes.

I look up and see Gavin’s peplos sleeve starting to catch on fire while lighting a candle at the far end of the table.

  “Gavin! Your sleeve!” I yelled instantly. Mom, dad, and Donna break from their conversation and turn to see what’s going on. Mom and dad begin to freak out.

  “Oh my God Gavin! Get the fire extinguisher!” mom shouts. I scurry down and help blow out the fire while dad searches for the fire extinguisher. Gavin’s screaming in pain, the fire’s spreading quick. I cough harshly because of how close the smoke is to my face.

   “It’s burning my skin!” Gavin cries out. Dad runs back with a fire extinguisher and sprays it all over Gavin’s arm. I start panting.

    “It’s okay guys, it’s okay,” mom says hugging Gavin tightly.

    Donna remains still, observing what just happened.

“What the fuck Donna?” I scream. “Did you not just witness your brother catching on fire?”

    She doesn’t say a word. We all face her, creeped out.

    “You all broke character!” “Hah, I won! I can’t believe I won!” she squeals in disbelief after a moment of silence. She jumps up and down despite her gown being pounds heavy. Everyone’s speechless. Donna's having her victory.

    “Fuck you,” Gavin finally says, he spits on her and storms to the door.

    “Gav, where are you going?” mom asks worriedly.

    “Out.”

    He yanks open the door and leaves.

It's written all over her face. Donna doesn’t feel bad. She doesn’t care. She got the money. That's all that matters.