Welcome to Nature

“I’m telling you, it was awful!”

“Come on, sis. It was a camping trip with your boyfriend. Sleeping under the stars, cuddled up in a sleeping bag–that’s romantic. How bad could it possibly have been?” She transferred the baby from her hip to his highchair as she asked.

“Oh ho ho! You have no freaking idea! Let me paint you a picture…”

#

The couple arrived at the site just after noon. The trees offered welcome shade from the blazing sun above, and a refreshing breeze blew over the lake toward them. They could see the water through a gap in the trees, glinting and sparkling like a million sapphires. Hayden could just imagine how that water would feel after they got their camp set up–cool and invigorating.

“Wow!” Sam leapt from the passenger seat, eyes darting in every direction. “It’s really beautiful out here! How did you find this place?”

“Childhood memories,” Hayden smiled. “Dad used to bring us here. One time, my grandpa sunk the canoe in that lake. Bit of a trick to get anybody to give me directions, though. Family secret, apparently. You’re lucky they like you.”

“The closest thing my family ever got to anything like this was a tent in the backyard. And we didn’t even sleep in it!”

“Welcome to nature,” Hayden chuckled, gesturing around them and fighting the urge to ask what the point of the tent had been. “Still can’t believe you’ve never camped before.”

“How ever have I managed to survive without it?” Sam smirked. “Speaking of nature, where’s the bathroom? I think the coffee’s finally hitting me.”

Hayden laughed and dug a roll of toilet paper out of the car, tossing it toward Sam.

“Anywhere, long as it’s at least twenty paces from camp.”

Sam’s eyes went wide. “You mean you want me to just… go on the ground?”

Hayden shrugged. “What? It’s biodegradable!”

A few minutes later, Sam scrambled out from among the trees, clutching the toilet paper triumphantly and swatting mosquitoes.

“Well, that happened. But, honey, I don’t know if I can do this. I’m already getting eaten alive.”

“You must taste good,” Hayden chuckled, pretending to lean in for a sample. “Bug spray in the car if you wanna grab it.”

“Ugh, you know I hate that stuff. It smells so bad!”

“I got the natural kind; it’s supposed to be more ‘fragrant’. You wanna get out of here intact, or you wanna be one giant mosquito bite? Just go spray yourself down, and then come help me set up.”

Sam proved equally hopeless at putting together a tent, gathering wood, and making a fire.

#

They crawled into the tent just past midnight, after roasting weenies for dinner and marshmallows for s’mores and smothering the fire. It had been a peaceful evening, their senses soothed by the company of winking stars and singing crickets. Hayden had zipped their sleeping bags together so they could keep each other warm (and, if they were both lucky, maybe even have some fun) during the night. They had only just begun to doze off when Sam shot bolt upright.

“What was that?”

“What?” Hayden, brain fuzzy with near-sleep, had heard nothing.

“There’s something out there!” Sam whispered, groping in the dark for the flashlight.

Then Hayden heard it, the snapping of twigs. Something was, indeed, out there. As Hayden made a mental list of all the things that could have invaded their camp--a bear, a lost hiker, a machete-wielding, hockey mask-wearing killer--Sam clicked on the light. The tent flooded with its warm glow, illuminating Sam’s pale face and, beyond the sheer mesh of the tent window, reflecting back at them from three pairs of eyes. That eliminated Jason Vorhees, at least.

The light trembled in Sam’s hands.

“What the fuck are those?”

Images flashed through Hayden’s mind, urged on by the alarm in Sam’s voice. Scenes from campy slasher movies and stories of hikers attacked by wild animals merged together with images from childhood nightmares, shattering all rational thought. Pulse racing, Hayden fought the urge to scream. One of them had to remain calm here, and it clearly wasn’t going to be Sam. A set of eyes blinked at them, then another, and the third, and reason returned once again.

It was too dark outside to see more than the slightest silhouettes around the eyes, but, having overcome the initial panic and looked more closely, Hayden was able to form a pretty good idea of what those were. Sam stared, frozen in terror except for the shaking. Choking down a chuckle, Hayden reached out and took the flashlight.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Sam’s eyes went wide. “Baby, no! You can’t! What if they’re dangerous?”

Hayden smiled reassuringly. “I’ll be fine. Promise. Just stay here.”

Once outside the tent, Hayden swept the flashlight across the campsite and confirmed that the three sets of eyes belonged to three deer, a doe and two fawns, each just as frozen and fearful as Sam. They stared, wide-eyed, as Hayden advanced on them. After a few more steps, they roused themselves and bolted back into the trees, leaving the campsite peacefully empty once more.

Hayden returned to the tent to find Sam in one corner, rocking back and forth, fighting the urge to cry.

#

Her sister giggled at the indelible image of all six feet, two hundred pounds of Samuel Dockery huddled in the corner of a tent, shuddering while Hayden chased away a mama and two baby deer. The laughter shook her hard enough to transport a glob of mashed peas from the spoon she was holding to the bib of the baby she had been attempting to feed them to. Not that it wasn’t already thoroughly painted with the stuff.

“Okay,” she snorted. “So Sam’s kind of a pansy. Does that really make any difference at all?”

Hayden looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged.

“Nah. Like you said, it was just a camping trip, right? He’ll learn. And besides, I love him anyway.”