Sammy and Erna

“She’s beautiful.”  Sammy said this with such genuine affection that even the most spiteful person would find it enduring.

“She’s 80,” came the blunt reply of Jacob, his gruff voice nicely complimenting his hard-edged personality.

“I’m 88.”

“Robbing the cradle a bit there,” Jacob guffawed.

Sammy just smiled as he adoringly examined the lady of his desires.  He knew well Jacob’s typically cynical and condescending nature.  They had been living in rooms next to each other for the past nine months.  They weren’t friends, but at Sunny Age Nursing Home, there weren’t a lot of options, either.  

And now, Sammy thought to himself, with this new beauty queen arriving, perhaps Sunny Age would actually become a bit sunny.  “I have just fallen in love, Jacob.”

Jacob had another round of laughter, so heavy that he began coughing.  “Love?  I’m sorry, I’m more than six feet away from you and my hearing ain’t so good anymore.  I must not have heard you right.    Did you say ‘love’?”

Sammy nodded and Jacob grunted.

“I hate to tell you this, Sammy, but we are too old to love.”

Sammy ignored the argument.  “What’s her name?  Have you heard?”

“Erma,” Jacob answered.  “I heard that cute little nurse, Barbara, talking about her.  Barbara said Erma has dementia.”  Then, after a slight pause, Jacob mocked, “Hey, maybe you have a chance with her!”  

But before Jacob even finished his final thought, Sammy was already up and hobbling with his cane walking toward Erma.  Because of the virus sweeping the nation, however, Sammy could only walk to the tape that quartered off the lobby section of the nursing home where Erna sat.   “Hello there, dear.”

Erma looked up from the rocking chair.  Despite her age, she had a healthy length of hair so white it looked bleached.  Her eyes were sky blue and beamed with an unspeakable radiance.  As she looked into Sammy’s eyes, however, he noticed a deep sadness.  There was confusion behind her polite smile.

“Hello.” Then with a crinkled brow and a slight head tilt, she asked, “Do I know you?”

This is how Sammy met Erna.  

This is how Erna met Sammy.  

It was May 1.  Sammy found out from Barbara that afternoon that Erna was supposed to move into the residence almost two months previous, but with the quarantine and threat to nursing homes all over the country, they were not accepting new residents.  Erna continued staying with her daughter until it was safe.  Thankfully, Sunny Age had been secure from any positive cases and they were allowing new residents.  

Still, there were too many rules for any resident to enjoy.  They were confined to their rooms for the first six weeks.  Slowly, they were allowed to move about outside with one staff member as the spring weather warmed the air outside.  They had to eat at a table alone and stay away from other residents.  Now they were at a point they could get a bit closer to others, but still only six feet and for short amounts of time.  

Sammy was able to see Erna for a few minutes everyday, and everyday the conversation was relatively the same.

“Hello my dear,” Sammy would say with his most chivalrous and romantic tone.

“Hello,” Erna would say with that contagious smile of hers.  “Do I know you?  I am sure I’ve met you before.”

“My beautiful dear, I am Sammy, and I am in love with you.”

Erna would smile and say, “Well that’s nice.”  

And that was it.  Erna never seemed to understand that last statement.  She responded as if it was a simple compliment on how nice she looked.  Sometimes, Sammy would try to say more, but mostly they just sat in silence.  They would remain in opposite ends of the same room, one admiring the other while the other blankly smiling at the one.

One Wednesday morning in early June, Jacob hollered across the cafeteria to Sammy’s table, “When’s the wedding, Sammy?” This was followed by raucous laughter on Jacob’s part.  A cafeteria server turned away and smiled to herself.  All the staff knew of Sammy’s devotion to Erna.  It wasn’t something Sammy hid.  In fact, Sammy would make a daily request to a staff member to bring Erna a miniature chocolate bar from his bedside drawer along with a letter.  The letter would begin with some variation of the following:

Dearest Erna, my name is Sammy from Room 307.  I look forward to meeting you again in the social room.  Though we will be many feet apart, you will forever be in my heart.  Today, I want you to know that I was an art teacher for 42 years.  I hope you will be able to tell me something about yourself in response to this letter.

The end of the letter always gave just one fact about Sammy and one question so he could learn more about Erna.  Unfortunately, Erna never answered the letters.  In fact, for the first week she didn’t even receive the letters.  The nursing staff first gave the letters to Erna’s daughter.  She read through them and found them enduring.  She gave her permission for the letters to be delivered and would even ask her mother about them when she visited each day.  Erna never seemed to know about them, but she would smile and say, “Somebody sent me a letter?  How nice!”

Back to the cafeteria, Sammy just lightly chuckled to Jacob’s sarcasm.  Sammy’s life, in contrast with the worsening pandemic in the outside world, was greatly improved.  His loneliness was cured by Erna’s arrival, even if she really didn’t understand what was going on around her.  His passion for drawing, which had been dying since his recent rheumatism began growing, suddenly reappeared.  Erna had sparked in him a final zest for life when he needed it most.

When July rolled around, Sunny Age decided to have a celebration for Independence Day.  They lined up the residents outside of their rooms in the wide corridors.  The staff and volunteers that were able put on red, white, and blue outfits and held up banners while they marched up and down the wings of the facility.  Patriotic music played while the parade moved through the different hallways and residents clapped and cheered.  Erna’s room was only four rooms down the hall from Sammy’s, so when Barabara paraded toward him, he held out his hand and gave her a folded piece of paper.  Barbara read, “To Erna, the girl of my dreams.”

Barbara smiled and delivered it to Erna, who took it obediently and unfolded it.  Sammy neglected the ongoing fanfare and instead focused his attention on Erna’s reaction.  As she unfolded the paper, her face lit up with a bright smile.  He could see her piercing, blue eyes move toward him.  For the first time, there seemed recognition behind those beautiful orbs. He smiled and waved.  Erna waved back.  Then suddenly, she wrinkled her brow and tilted her head.  She looked back down at the paper and struggled for a moment.  She then went back into her room.  

Sammy was overjoyed that she seemed to know him in that brief moment.  He was saddened that she so quickly lost her sense of understanding and retreated back to her bed.  That night he decided it best not to send her any more letters.  He feared he was just confusing her too much.

In the first week of August, Jacob was sitting again as close as he could to Sammy.  “Why are you so glum, Sammy?  Did your girl break it off with you?”

Sammy wanted to lash out, but had not the strength.  Instead, he simply said in a defeated tone, “No Jacob.  She was never my girl.  I have decided it best to leave well enough alone.  I fear I only made her life worse by sending her letters and drawings.”

“Drawings?”

“Well,” replied Sammy, “Just one drawing really.  But I can’t do that to her anymore.  I realize now that I was mistaken to woo her, beautiful as she is.  Love cannot work when one half of the partnership has no concept of the world around her.”

Jacob was about to respond when Barbara came over with a look of determination.  “Sammy, what are you doing?”

“I don’t -“

“Not sending any more letters to Erna?  Haven’t you noticed how depressed she has been lately?  Since your letters stopped, she feels more lonely everyday.”

“I didn’t -“

“You didn’t think is what you didn’t do.”  Barbara put her hands on her hips and looked stern for a few moments.  Then she suddenly relaxed and said, “Sammy, I saw that drawing from Independence Day.  The one with her portrait, but shaded in just the right way to make her look younger and prettier than she is.  It was beautiful.  It brightened Erna’s day.  Everyday she asks, ‘Is there a letter today?’ I say, ‘Why Miss Erna, what letter should come today?’  She says, I don’t know, but I am expecting a letter today from a dear friend.’  Now you tell me why you stopped and I have to let her down everyday!”

“I had no idea.  She really asks about a letter?”

“Yes, sir.”

Sammy immediately began walking as quickly as he could, which was quite slow actually, back to his room.  “Where you going’? Barbara called to him.

“I’m going to write another letter!”

In September, the weather cooled again and summer quickly faded to an early fall.  Barbara appeared before Sammy in his room before breakfast with a look that made his heart stop.  She didn’t have to speak words for him to know that it had happened.  Erna’s health was deteriorating quickly in the past few weeks, and Sammy knew that she would be gone from him soon.  He felt prepared for it, but now that he knew she was gone, he realized how little he was prepared for.

Barbara later took him to Erna’s room before her daughter came with family to clear things out.  He saw his portrait of Erna hanging on the wall.  Barbara opened a draw and pulled out a box.  The box had a note written on the top of it.  “Summer of 2020...Letters from My Love.”

He opened it tenderly and found all of his letters stashed inside.  

As tears began to stream down his cheek, Barbara gave him a small notebook.  He opened it up and saw scratched writing on the first page:

I read a letter from a man who loves me.  I am loved.  I feel love.  I have love.

The notebook had this repeated over and over.  It was Erna’s mantra.

This was Sammy’s final summer in life as well as Erna’s.  It was their final chance at love.  They never kissed.  They never hugged.  They never even really knew each other.  But they had loved each other, and it was good.