Broken Texts

Really? What was that for?

What are you talking about?

Ugh! You’re so unbelievable! “What are you talking about” WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M TALKING ABOUT?!?!

Do you mean what I said to your sister?

OMG YES WHAT YOU SAID TO YOUR SISTER!! What do you think I meant?!?

Babe, you know what I meant when I said that. You’re blowing this out of proportion. When I said that she looked nice, I was complementing her on her outfit, I was not talking about anything else. You know me, you know I wouldn’t say something like that to hurt you.

Whatever. It still hurt. And YOU know how I get.

You know I don’t like when you say that kind of shit.

You shouldn’t be so insecure about yourself.

EXCUSE ME?

Oh boy. Like you know I’m not going to say that shit to hurt you or fuck you over. That’s what being in a relationship means.

You have NO IDEA what being in a relationship means it does NOT mean complementing every other girl you see while I get nothing! When we started dating, all you did was compliment me and say such sweet things about me, and now I’m lucky if I get a tiny fucking smile. I do SO MUCH for you when you’re sick I bring you care baskets and make you soup and make sure that you’re OK and text you or even call you, but when I’m sick you just feel sorry for me! I DON’T WANT YOUR PITY I WANT YOUR LOVE AND I HAVENT GOTTEN ANY OF IT!!!

God, you’re so needy and immature. I shouldn’t have to give you my attention 24/7 because you can’t live without me. You have to grow up at some point. I give you space when you’re sick because I know you like to watch Netflix and sleep so I let you do that. And who took you out to that fancy restaurant last week, or bought you Taco Bell for dinner the past 3 nights, even though I don’t have a job right now? Don’t say I haven’t done shit for you. I have done so much for you, but you always act like I never do anything for you if there’s even 1 thing I don’t do for you.

K.

I’m done. Night.

Whatever. Goodnight.

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Hey.

I know it’s 3 in the morning but I can’t sleep. I’ve just been thinking about what happened, and I’ve been sick thinking about it. It’s racing through my mind and I can’t shut it off. I feel like I’m about to throw up. I’m sorry for all the shit that I said before. I shouldn’t have said that about your sister, it was wrong of me to do that even if I meant it another way.

I’m really so stupid that I let that happen to you and do that to you. I said I was going to protect you and all I’ve done is hurt you. That’s not what a boyfriend is supposed to do, and it seems like that is all I have done. If you want to break up with me, I understand. I would want to break up with me too. I’m honestly surprised you’ve stuck with me for this long with all my fucked up shit going on in my head. I’ve been hurt so much in my life and you’re the only one who takes the pain away. And I guess I just give it all right back to you in the process.

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Hey.

Good morning.

Sorry I didn’t respond. I was sleeping.

Kinda figured that. It’s OK.

Did you read it?

Yeah.

What do you think?

Idk.

Oh.

Yeah.

What do you mean you don’t know though? Like you don’t know if you wanna break up with me?

Hello?

Sorry I was busy. And idk. I have to think about it.

About breaking up with me?

Idk just leave me alone.

Oh. I’m sorry.

It’s just funny that when I threaten you with leaving you or get in an argument with you, that’s when you decide to become a man again. You don’t care what you do or how I feel until I yell at you and say shit to hurt you. And you ALWAYS get so defensive about it too. You ALWAYS have to have an excuse or explain with logic and make me feel stupid. Oh you’re so smart and you can beat me in an argument while I’m BREAKING DOWN AND CRYING FOR HOURS WHILE YOU’RE PROBABLY ON YOUR GAME WITH YOUR FRIENDS!

Please stop yelling.

NO YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU NEVER FUCKING DO ANYTHING. IDC IF YOUR FEELINGS ARE HURT HOW DOES IT FEEL?!?! THIS IS HOW I FEEL ALL THE TIME WITH YOU ANYMORE!

I’m so sorry. I fucking hate myself right now.

And everytime this happens you play the pity card. You need to stop doing that shit. Idk if I can take this anymore.

If you’re gonna break up with me just say it.

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Hey I’m sorry for getting back so late.

It’s OK.

It’s really not.

No it is. I think we both needed a bit of time to cool off anyway.

Can I be honest with you?

Of course.

I think we’ve both been running from the real problems. And we don’t talk about it until it’s unavoidable, and then it all comes out like an explosion. And that’s when we get these fights.

When we’re not fighting I love you so much.

And I love you too.

But these fights have to stop.

How do we stop them though?

Idk.

Well maybe we can both focus on some things to change. Like for me, I could be more careful with what I say around you and think of how what I say affects you, and like stop using the pity card. Or at least know when I’m using the pity card. Because I don’t even realize I’m using it until you say it.

True.

And then like for you maybe like taking deep breaths when you get angry? And like I can do the same as well because that’s something I have an issue with too.

It’s not even that. I just love you so much you are my life and my everything and when I can’t be with you or when I don’t get what I want I get so upset and I cry.

So maybe taking more time for yourself with your friends and making time for yourself and your family? Obviously we would still hang out and go on dates but maybe not as much.

Yeah we can try that.

Ok baby.

I love you.

I love you too.