I have a gun !

Tony bandaged his hand with a dirty shirt, threw his fist through the glass, unlocked the door and went in. He patrolled the house, checking for living or dead. Since the beginning of the pandemic, he quickly learned that neither could be trusted. He found there was plenty of food in the pantry. Canned foods, preserves. Even water bottles. At least he could replenish his stock here. On the ground floor, there was only the kitchen where he stood and a living room. He quickly looked around but the furniture was so scarce and the rooms so small that nobody could possibly hide in there.

There were two rooms upstairs. He went to check them. Rooms meant possibly blankets, clothes which might even be about his size for once. He entered the first one. It looked like a child’s room, kept tidy.

• Why are you here?

Tony spun around but saw no one.

• You’re in my room and I have a gun ! 

A child’s voice, coming from behind the curtain down which Tony could see two tiny feet.

• It’s ok, said Tony, I’m not here to hurt you. My name is Tony. Would you come out?

A little girl, hardly more than a baby, went out, holding a plastic water gun. Tony didn’t realise he was holding his breath until he released it.

• That’s not a gun kid, that’s a toy but that’s ok, I won’t hurt you.
• You can’t because I have a gun, a real gun, it’s not a toy. Raise your hands where I can see them !

Tony tried not to laugh seeing how serious the kid was, and raised his hands. She told him to sit down.

• Not there ! That’s my bed, you sit there ! 
• Ok, on the floor it is. Are your parents home?
• What are you doing in my house?
• I’ve been walking for a long time and I was looking for a place to rest for a few days and then be on my way. I don’t have any food left, I thought the house was empty and I wanted to see if there was anything to eat here…

She looked at him, furrowing her brows.

• You’re hungry?
• Very much so, yes.
• You should have said, mom always said it’s bad to let people get hungry.

She put the water gun in the front pocket of her overalls and ran downstairs to the kitchen where Tony followed her. By the time he came into the kitchen, she was up on a stool, cradling a huge can in her little arms.

He watched her as she methodically set the table for him, carefully poured the contents of the can in a pot, lit the gas stove… Wait, gas?

• How come you have gas? Tony asked.
• Dad buys gas bottles. We have loads of them in the shed. When it’s empty we put another one. But dad said not to waste them. 

Smart man, Tony thought. She told him to sit at the table and he did, thinking how surreal this situation was. He also felt like he was watching a tiny mom cooking lunch for her giant son.

• What’s your name?
• Dani, she said, not taking her eyes off the pot she was carefully stirring. 
• And how old are you, Dani? Do you think it’s safe for you, cooking with fire like this? I mean I can see you’re an expert, he quickly added when she turned a dark stare to him. Are your parents ok with this?
• I’m a big girl, she said. I’m six ! Dad said I’m a big girl now. When mom got sick he said I was a big girl and sometimes, when he would have to leave to find food and stuff, I’d have to take care of mom and me. He said he trusts me to be a good girl, she exclaimed, suddenly seeming two inches taller.

Dani murmured “dinner's ready”, extinguished the fire and carefully put a couple of ladles on a plate. A mixture of lentils and sausages. She jumped off her stool, grabbed the plate and slowly approached the table murmuring “easy, don’t spill it”. Tony almost dived into the plate while Dani was pouring him a glass of water, watching him. It took him a few minutes to realise she was giving him the stink eye.

• You eat like a pig.

Tony realised he wasn’t using his fork, his hands were filthy, his mouth full of grease. He self consciously cleaned himself with the napkin, thinking how funny it was to be shamed by that little gnome’s good manners. 

• I’m sorry lady. I’ve been eating alone for too long I guess… 

He grabbed the fork and tried his unanswered question again.

• Where are your parents?

She sat in front of him. Looking at her hands, the corners of her little lips suddenly turned downwards. 

• Mom got sick. She’s been sick for a long time. She was burning hot and coughing and trembling all the time. Dad found medicine and it helped some. Then she got even more sick. And one morning I couldn’t wake her up so dad said he had to take her to the doctor and that he would come back soon. He said I had to be a good girl and not to worry. That he was taking care of mom. 

Cold washed over him. Tony wasn’t hungry anymore but he kept eating, holding his emotions to himself.

• How long have they been gone?
• Many many sleeps ago…

He guessed Dad took Mom away before she turned and things didn’t go as expected. He doubted Dad, or Mom for that matter, was ever coming back. But he couldn’t stay with her. It wasn’t safe to stay in the same place for too long. And besides she was a liability, she could get him killed. How long before she starts crying for her parents, bringing about all the dead within earshot. She wasn’t his responsibility. He didn’t want that responsibility. Not since Jimmy… No he couldn’t protect anyone. He wasn’t even sure he could protect himself.

   *******

• What?

They were sitting on the porch, drinking lukewarm but perfectly clean water, a most welcomed change for Tony. Dani had been looking at him for a few minutes now and he couldn’t pretend he didn’t notice anymore. It was wrecking his nerves. She looked deep in thought.

• You look like a gorilla.
• A gorilla?
• I saw a gorilla once, she explained, her eyes lighting up. Our class went to the zoo, there were sooo many animals ! But I loved the monkeys most. They’re funny ! But the gorillas are best. They’re scary at first, they look so angry and big and strong ! But, in true, they’re nice. Did you know they are not really monkeys? They are apes and it’s different even if they just look like big monkeys. And we people are also some kind of monkeys but not as cool I think.
• So I guess that’s a compliment, thank you, he said ruffling her hair. 
• I don’t know, she said, raising her shoulders briefly. It’s true that’s all.

Dani froze, looking somewhere in the distance. Tony followed her gaze and saw them. Three dead were roaming around, bumping into each other. 

• “Dani, go back inside honey.”, he murmured.

She did as she was told. She knew the drill, Dad had taught her well. Not a single noise. They couldn’t see you but the bastards had supernatural hearing abilities. Tony silently rose and looked around in case there were more of them. They seemed to be coming their way. They were the first ones he’d seen for days. He knew he'd have to move on soon. Seeing some of them meant seeing more of them pretty soon and then being overcome by them. He knew from experience that if they smelled food they would somehow call other dead until the place swarmed with them. They were behaving more like bees than anything human. Tony had to do something about it. 

He went inside, Dani was sitting on the floor hugging her knees, terrified but putting on a brave face. He kneeled beside her.

• Dani, I have to take care of them. You stay here, OK? I don’t want you watching.

Her eyes opened wide but she didn’t speak.

• I’ll be back. I swear.

He kissed her forehead and went looking for a weapon. There were three and even if they were slow, he couldn’t take any chances. He grabbed the sturdy broom, found a kitchen knife and some duct tape in the kitchen drawers. That would do. He firmly fixed the knife to the end of the broomstick, thought a second and took another knife, just in case. He used the remaining duct tape to protect his forearms. It was better than nothing.

Tony looked at Dani, forced a smile and set out to face the dead. 

He was crouching near them, not making a sound. He couldn’t face three at once, he had to hope they would detach somehow. 

His wish was granted after a few minutes. One was coming straight at him, alone. When it was near enough Tony jammed the makeshift spear right through its neck and up to its brain. One down, two to go. But now they heard him, both coming his way. The element of surprise works but only once.

Tony tried the same technique with number one but missed and lost the spear, as number two tried to grab him. He managed to hold number one by the throat, feeling it scratch at his protected forearms and plunged the knife into number two’s temple. The knife went out easily and Tony immediately stabbed number one’s temple with it.  

Kill count : 28. 

 *******

• Here, said Dani as she drew water from the tap. 

Tony was covered in slimy muck from the dead and really needed to clean himself up. How the hell was there still running water in this house?

• It's the water from the rain. Dad said we can use it to clean ourselves but not to drink, unless we really have to. 

Smart man. And you have a very smart girl too, Tony thought. 

Once he was clean, without thinking, Tony picked up the little girl in his arms.

• OK, time to eat ! This time I’ll do the cooking ! 

Dani nodded and rested her head on his shoulder for a moment. 

They ate in silence which, even if they met just a few hours before, already seemed unusual to Tony. Dani wasn’t eating much, mostly pushing her food around. 

• Hey, what is it? 

She put her fork down and after a moment, raised her eyes to meet his.

• You said you had to take care of them. 
• Yes honey, I had to. They could have hurt us. 

She furrowed her brows.

• Is this … How dad took care of mom too? So she wouldn’t hurt us?

Tony didn’t know what to tell her. How could he comfort a little girl, still waiting for her long gone parents, alone in a house in the middle of a dead world. 

• I don’t know what happened to them, he said, as kindly as he could. But what I’m sure about is that your mum and dad wanted you safe above all else. 

She lowered her head, the corners of her lips turning downwards. 

• Can I go to my room, please? I want to sleep.
• Sure. Leave the plates to me. I’ll clean up and come and check in on you in a while. 

Tony tidied up the kitchen and by the time he was done, the night was beginning to fall. He went upstairs and opened Dani’s door, just a crack. She was asleep. “Good”, he thought,” I hope she has sweet dreams where she can be just a child and that it’s enough.” 

He lay down on the couch, exhausted, and dived into a deep sleep.

Sobs woke him up in the middle of the night. A tiny sobbing silhouette holding an old battered blanket was standing on the lower step of the stairs. 

“Come here”, he told her. Making some space for her to lie next to him. She stepped over Tony to lie between him and the back of the couch. She put her thumb in her mouth, still crying. But as soon as he hugged her and wiped her tears with his hand, she fell asleep.

It took some time for Tony to fall back asleep. 

He woke up at the crack of dawn, hearing crunching sounds. Dani was sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal without milk. 

• Hey honey, you’re up early. Can I have some? 

She smiled and pushed an empty bowl and the box of cereal towards him. 

How long has it been? Being in a house, having three meals a day, not being alone, having someone to care about. Life felt almost normal. But it wasn’t. They were two lost souls in a lost world. Tony made sure to keep that in mind. Safety was in movement. 

• Dani, you said your dad sometimes left you to find food and water. How did he bring it back? Did he use a car?
• Huh huh, she said, shaking her head. We have a car but dad said it wasn’t safe to use it. He only took it once… For mom… He put mom inside and pushed the car until I couldn’t see him on the street anymore.

Of course, Dad was too smart to use such a noisy vehicle and he would never have started the engine in front of his home, where his little girl would be, alone.

• How then?
• I’ll show you ! Come ! 

She climbed down her chair and went to the back door. The one leading to the garden. To the shed. He stopped her before she opened. He wanted to go first, just in case.

He opened the door just a crack, then seeing nothing, just a little more. Once he felt confident they were alone, he got out and allowed her to follow him. 

• Dad went with this !

“This” was a bike with a fortified homemade bicycle trailer. Even the bike looked customised. That man… And there were other bikes he noted in a corner of his mind. One of them small. Dani’s. 

Dani inhaled sharply and clutched Tony's hand. He heard that too. Shouting. An engine. There were people outside making a lot of noise. Not good. 

He watched outside through a split between two planks of wood. In the distance, not so far from where he killed the three dead, a pickup truck. The engine was revving and two dickheads were whoho-ing at the top of their lungs. They were holding shotguns. Dead were coming. Another sick hunting game.

The pickup moved, the dead followed. 

When he couldn’t see or hear the hunters anymore, he motioned Dani back to the house with him. Crouching, not making a sound. 

That was bad. They had to leave. Both of them, it wasn’t a safe place anymore. But would she come with him? And most of all, would he be able to protect her?

• Dani, honey, it isn’t safe here. 
• Are you going to leave? She asked, her eyes cast down.
• Not without you, I can’t leave you here alone.
• But I told dad I would wait for him ! What if he comes home and I’m not there? No! She said, determined, crossing her arms.
• These men, they’ll come back and if they find us… If they find you, they could hurt you ! Your dad would want you to be safe and here you’re not and I am not leaving you alone. You’re only 6 for God’s sake !
• I’m waiting for mom and dad ! 
• They are dead ! They’re not coming back ! He screamed, immediately wishing he could take his words back, he could take this truth back.

Dani looked at him as if he slapped her, her lower lip trembling. She ran upstairs, slamming her room's door.

Tony cursed himself and followed her. He heard her cry through the door.

• Dani, I’m sorry, please… Can I come in? 

She didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure how to react. Hoping she would allow him to talk to her later, he went back to the shed to analyse what they could take with them, what they would need and how they could leave without being seen. He wasn’t going to leave Dani.

The bicycle trailer was big enough. They could fill it with cans of food, even water. Dani could ride her own bike. It wasn’t safe to leave at night because of the dead but during daylight the risk came from the living…

• Get out of my house ! I have a gun !

Tony had never been so scared in his life but his feet were already running back to the house.