The Season of Love

Dear diary,

Today is a new day.

I know that I may have done something stupid and immature, but that is in the past now. 

Time to go on with my life and. . .

I looked up from my journal at the sound of a knock. Opening the door, I see my mother come in, a plate of lasagna and caesar salad balanced carefully on one hand. Tucking the little book under my laptop, I scoot off my chair and standing up, I walk over to my mom and take the plate from her.

“Sorry I couldn’t eat with the family tonight,” I said, before stuffing my mouth with lasagna. It tastes amazing, probably because I haven’t eaten in twelve plus hours. 

“I get it, sweetie. I went through the same thing you are going through now when I was in high school.” My mom said. I loved how she put everything into perspective and just made me feel so loved. “Breakups can be hard and I’m just glad you feel like you can talk to me about it.”

“I’m glad I have such a cool mom who listens to my nonsense,” I reply, relieved to be able to joke after such an emotionally draining 24 hours. “I just can’t believe he kissed Marissa. I mean, we have-” My voice breaks, and I try desperately to hold on to my tears. I have cried so much lately, I just don’t want to give him the satisfaction of being able to break me once again. Forging onward, I say, “I mean, we had been dating for almost two years and suddenly he’s hooking up with my best friend?” I scoff, poking my fork into the crisp romaine lettuce. 

My mom gives me a side hug, making me feel like a little kid again instead of a junior at Southwest High School. I know I should just block that part of my memory out as best I can, but all I can think about is last night.

* * *

The night started off nice enough, nothing letting on about the events that were about to unfold. My dress was beautiful and the dinner beforehand was amazing. All the most important people in my life were involved: My mom helped me pick out the dress and get me ready, my best friend Marissa and her date Evan came with Nathan and me to pictures and dinner before the dance. The night was perfect, everything I imagined for my first spring formal. We arrived at the dance, the limousine dropping us off right in front of the hotel doors. Getting out of the vehicle and feeling the cold wind whipping around me, it felt like a true fairy tale. My prince held my hand as he helped me step out. I made way for Marissa and Evan to get out, walking with Nathan over a few paces. Resting my head on his shoulder, looking up at the perfect night sky, everything felt right.

Nathan wrapped his arms around me, whispering into my ear, “You look perfect tonight, absolutely beautiful.” I smiled, turning and planting a lingering kiss on his lips, and then placing a hand on his chest teasingly.

“And you look like a handsome prince. My prince.” I stared into his deep, chestnut brown eyes, letting myself get swept away in the romance of the moment.

“Umm, sorry, I hate to interrupt but we should probably get headed inside if we want to get good table seats,” Marissa said, uncomfortably emphasizing the number of people who had gathered outside of the school. 

“Right. Let’s get in line.” I nodded and started walking over to the ever-growing admission line. I couldn’t help looking back at Marissa who smiled and winked at me. I blushed and took Nathan’s hand once again. 

As the night went on, we danced together as a group until the slow songs started playing. Nathan took my hand and pulled me close as we swayed gently to the music. I lost Marissa and Evan in the mass of couples, but I didn’t care. We danced for what feels like hours until finally, I had to take a break for mandatory bathroom use. Looking in the mirror, I couldn’t stop smiling. 

I walked back to the makeshift dance floor of the hotel, looking for Nathan. Not being able to find him, I asked one of his other friends Kyle if he had seen him. Pointing to the back of the large room, next to the punch station. After thanking Kyle, I looked but not being able to find him, I was about to give up, thinking that he had probably just gone to the bathroom or something when a hint of pink caught my attention. 

They were the socks I had given him after he asked me to be his girlfriend. They were from the cancer hospital gift shop, a token I had gotten just for that occasion. He had been the first guy who had immediately backed out of a date when they found out that I had had leukemia when I was seven and a recurrence when I was thirteen. That’s when I had decided that he was as perfect as they came. 

The reason I hadn’t seen him was that his feet close, to a high heeled pair, was mostly hidden by a dark red velvet curtain. Shaking my head, I turned the corner, my eyes filling with tears when I understood the scene coming to life in front of me. I had to take a step back and close my eyes, as my perfect fantasy night shatters into a gut-wrenching nightmare. Pressed up against the wall, was my boyfriend with his tongue in my best friend’s mouth. Anger overwhelmed me, making me lose sight of everything except for this newest surprise that rocked my whole world. 

Tapping his shoulder, I take in Nathan’s surprised face as he unglued his mouth from Marissa’s. I felt more and more confident, with a hint of satisfaction coursing through me, knowing that he didn’t think he would get caught. 

Marissa’s eye’s almost bugged out of her head when she opened her eyes, letting out a small gasp. 

I just looked at Nathan, and with all the courage I could muster, asked, “When were you gonna tell me? At your wedding maybe?” I stood there, my face a neutral mask, hands on my hips as he fumbled for words. Not letting him speak I continued, this time rounding on my former BFF, “Did you think that I wouldn’t find out?” She too looked speechless. 

Nathan finally found his voice and managed to get out, “I’m sorry, baby. I made a mistake. I’m sorry-” but I cut him off. 

“Oh, your sorry?” Anger rose up in me like a wave, crashing down on the shore. “Your sorry?” I was yelling now, people gathering around. “How can you be sorry for kissing my best friend?” 

Nathan, dumbstruck once more, tried to grab my hand. I yanked it away and slapped him. A gasp went through the encaptured crowd. “Don’t you dare.” My voice was now an icy whisper, my face dead set. 

A move in the corner of my eyesight caught my attention. Marissa was crying. I looked at her, letting an indignantly snort come out. She looked up at me, her whole demeanor pleading. Looking at her, I lost it. “How could you? You are my best friend, or were, to be more accurate.” She just looked down again, the tears running freely down her face.

Thinking that he could defend her, Nathan said, “Come on, Celeste, don’t make too big of a deal of this.” I looked at him, incredulous, not believing that he was stupid enough to try and make light of this situation. 

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m making a mountain out of a molehill.” I turn around and start walking away from them, making a direct path for the closest person next to me. 

I grab her and her date’s cups of punch and are about to turn around when I hear Nathan whisper to Marissa, “See. Told you everything would work itself out.” I whip around, anger making me feel reckless. I march back to them and throw the liquid into both of their faces. Throwing the cups on the ground then, I walk off, holding my head up in the high and not giving them the pleasure of looking back. 

Once I’m out of the hotel, I lose it. Tears streaming down my face, I call my mom and with a shaky voice ask her to pick me up now. Shes does, without question, arriving within minutes. I collapse into her hug, letting all the emotion out. I sob into her shirt for what must have been at least ten minutes until finally, she urges me to get back into the car. We sit there while I recap the whole night, her silently passing me napkins from her car door. Once I had recovered a little bit, she asked if I just wanted to go home. I nod, thankful for her for the millionth time. 

When we arrive home, she gets me a box of tissues and lays in my bed with me, silently letting me know that she was there if I wanted to talk more. I didn’t, instead of falling asleep with her still there with me. When I woke up this morning, mom had already picked out an outfit for me to wear, picked up all the tissues off the floor and made pancakes with little chocolate faces in them. I smiled at her and hugged her once again. 

I moved back and said, “Thanks, mom. I love you.” She hugged me again and I knew that she would always be there for me, through life’s many ups and downs. Thank goodness that I had my mom.