The World Without

White sunlight dappled the fields, and the pale-grey grass bowed to the wind. Elaine sat on the warm bitumen road, watching the monochromatic shadows pass over the ruins that were Tolyn. From here, the buildings looked like children’s blocks; broken and cracked.

Elaine twisted the bracelet around her wrist and looked at the sky.

It was supposed to be blue.

Blue.

She tasted the word in her mouth, drawing it out, letting it escape her lips in a puff.

Blue…

She’d plunged her hands in a bucket of icy water once, and when the water had made her gasp, she was sure she’d seen a flash of colour.

Was that what blue looked like?

‘I should have known I’d find you here.’

Elaine glanced over her shoulder.

Her brother, Evander, stood with his hands in his pockets.

Elaine scowled. ‘What do you want?’ She turned back to Tolyn and wrapped her arms around her knees.

‘Mum’s looking for you.’ Her brother dropped down next to her, mimicking her pose.

At seventeen, he was seven years older and twice her size. People always commented on how strange they looked together, tall and short, but Elaine had always been small and she didn’t think it was very smart of people to point out something so obvious.

A gust of wind brushed hair into her eyes, and she blew the white strands away.

‘You know you can’t just run off every time someone asks you to do a job,’ said Evander. ‘It’s not going to work when you’re older.’

‘When I’m older people won’t ask me to do jobs. Especially not stupid ones like clean my room,’ she added, grumbling.

‘Oh yeah?’ Evander smirked. ‘What, you going to become crazy rich and hire servants to do everything for you?’

‘No. I’m going to become a scientist and I’m going to have a huge, big lab and I’m going to use it to bring all the colour back.’

The smile slipped from Evander’s face. ‘Elaine…’ he started. He rubbed a finger across his lips. ‘Colour doesn’t exist, remember? It’s just—’

Elaine stood. ‘It does exist.’

Evander grimaced. ‘Elaine—’

‘I know it does. Don’t tell me it doesn’t.’ She turned her back, folded her arms, and glared down at Tolyn, blinding white in the sun. ‘And if you’ve just come here to tell me I’m wrong, then you can go away. I don’t want to hear your colourless conspiracies.’

She heard her brother sigh. ‘Look Elaine, I know how much you want to believe colour is real, but you’re going to have to stop this obsession—’

‘It’s not an obsession!’ Elaine cried. As she said it, a movement down in Tolyn caught her eye. She whirled, gaping, and pointed, argument forgotten. ‘There’s someone down there! Look!’

Just a silhouette, a black shape against the grey buildings but unmistakable in the sunlight.

Evander stood and reached for her arm. ‘Come on, Elaine. We should go.’

She pulled away. ‘We should go investigate. They might need our help!’

‘Elaine—’

‘What if they’re injured? Or stuck?’

Evander hesitated, looking towards Tolyn and then back at Elaine.

‘Come on, Evander.’ She tugged on his arm, pulling him down the hill after her.

‘Just for a look, ok? And then we go back.’

They followed the road down the hill, sunlight warming their backs and clouds casting pale shadows on the grass.

When they reached the fence, Elaine pressed her face against the wire, peering into the town. ‘They’re gone.’

‘Obviously,’ said Evander. He folded his arms. ‘Ok you’ve had a look. Now let’s go.’

There was a hole near the ground, made by a rabbit Elaine guessed. She pulled up the wire and wriggled underneath.

‘Oi! What are you doing?’

Elaine let the wire drop and took a few hesitant steps into the town. Maybe the person had gone into one of those houses.

‘Elaine, get back here right now!’

She peered inside the closest building, a pale cube of concrete. The door was gone, and the windows looked like vacant eye sockets without their glass. The floor was littered with dead leaves and animal droppings. Elaine wrinkled her nose.

‘There’s no one here.’

She jumped at Evander’s voice by her shoulder.

‘Come on. We’re going.’ He reached for her arm, but she ducked away.

‘You can go if you want. I’m still looking.’

He muttered under his breath but followed her down the street as she peered into each of the buildings. They passed a laundromat, the sign faded and glass shards littering the ground in front. A gas station stood on the corner, even though petroleum cars had been banned years ago. It looked like it hadn’t been used in just as long, black rust crawling up the pumps.

There was a bakery too, and a real estate, both silent and empty, insides scattered with animal droppings, rusted cans, and dust. The town was washed pale-grey by the sunlight.

Elaine peered through the foggy glass of the school, one of the few buildings that still had windows. The chairs were in neat rigid rows. Black rust speckled the whiteboard. The tables were starting to rot.

‘This place doesn’t look very dangerous,’ said Elaine, turning to Evander who was pushing open the door of the empty church. The stained-glass windows were pale and ghostly, and the door gave a low, tired creak.

‘It doesn’t have to look dangerous to be dangerous.’

Grass grew everywhere, creeping through gaps in the bitumen road, sprouting from gutters and bins like grey hair. The wind caressed the trees, sighing around the ruins.

The last building was a huge warehouse that might have been a supermarket once; the letters on the front were faded beyond readability.

‘If they’re not in here, we’re leaving, alright,’ said Evander as they slid open the once-automatic doors.

Someone had boarded up the windows on the inside with big, metal sheets. Elaine squinted through gloom, and stepped forward. Her foot sent a metal can skittering across the ground.

‘Hello?’ she called. ‘Anyone there?’

Her voice echoed back; a dozen warped reflections.

Anyone there…anyone there…anyone there…

Shadows loomed out of the darkness, solidifying into towering shelves, rusted and slouching like sulking beasts. Sheets of grey fabric cascaded over them, more hanging from the ceiling, swaying gently in a breeze.

‘Hello?’ called Elaine again.

Hello…hello…hello…

‘Go away,’ called a voice from the darkness. ‘You shouldn’t be here.’

Shouldn’t be here, sang the echo.

‘You shouldn’t be here either,’ she said, moving towards the voice. It was coming from somewhere to her right. ‘We thought you might be in trouble.’

More shelves loomed. The grass tickled her ankles as she parted the low-hanging blankets. They felt cold and slippery, and clung to her fingers just a little longer than they should have.

She came to the wall of the warehouse. ‘Where are you?’

Are you…are you…

She turned in a circle, twisting the bracelet around her wrist. She’d lost Evander somewhere, and the darkness hid everything from sight, save for a few decrepit shelves. She followed the wall back into the depths of the warehouse.

A bubble of light appeared ahead of her. ‘Hello? Are you alright—?’

She stopped and gasped.

The light filling the back corner was yellow. Like butter melting on her tongue and the touch of the sun on her skin. It was so delicious and startling that Elaine thought her heart would explode right through her chest.

She started to laugh, a bubble of joy and disbelief that expanded up her throat.

‘What are you doing? I told you to go away.’

Elaine startled, laughter dying away.

A woman sat at a spinning wheel, frowning with eyes like sugar and ice. Blue eyes. A beautiful, perfect, colour, better than Elaine ever could have imagined. Like the bitterest of winds and the coldest of winter days. Like cold, sweet yoghurt on your tongue. Like mandarin’s straight from the fridge when the juice is cold and sugary.

And like that time she’d plunging her hands in a bucket of icy water.

She was so busy staring into the woman’s beautiful eyes that it took her a moment to realise what the woman was spinning. A shimmering crimson thread was draped across the woman’s fingers, pooling from the cloud of red colour in her lap, a colour that was soft and airy like carded fleece.

Elaine dropped to her knees and reached out to touch it, for here was something real and tangible, something alive and true. Something that proved, for certain, that colour was real. That she hadn’t been believing in a fantasy.

‘Ai! Don’t touch it!’

Elaine jerked her fingers back at the woman’s bark. ‘Wha-what?’

‘You’ll make it fade!’ The woman shook her head, and then waggled a hand at Elaine. ‘Move back. Back, back, back.’

Elaine shuffled until she was at the very edge of the light. ‘Here?’

The woman pursed her lips and said, ‘I told you to stay away.’

‘I know,’ said Elaine. ‘But I was curious.’

The woman humphed. ‘Curiosity killed the cat,’ she said.

Elaine folded her arms. ‘Actually, the saying goes ‘Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.’’

The woman stared at her, and Elaine waited for another snap, but instead the woman’s lip curled in a half smile.

Elaine dared to ask, ‘How is there colour here?’

The woman’s smile vanished. ‘There isn’t,’ she said. ‘Not really. It’s here while I spin but once this colour fades—’ she touched the red thread with a thin finger ‘—so will the rest.’

Elaine frowned. ‘But still…how?’

The woman eyed her. ‘You like your questions, don’t you.’

Elaine blushed. ‘Curiosity,’ she said.

The woman laughed, throwing her head back so her dark hair tumbled down her back. ‘I like you,’ she said at last, grinning, ‘so I’ll answer your questions.’ She started spinning again, the tic-tic-tic of the spinning wheel filling the space between them.

‘Before the colour can go to your world, I bring it here,’ said the woman, ‘to this warehouse.’

Elaine gasped. ‘You’re stealing it!’

‘What?’ The woman shot her a frown. ‘No! I’m trying to help. I’m trying to save it.’ She tugged on the crimson thread with a bit too much force and it snapped. She puffed out a sharp breath. ‘I’m trying,’ she said, collecting up a tuft of red and twisting it between her fingers, ‘to freeze it. Before it can fade.’ The red between her fingers became thread and she twisted it to join the broken end. The spinning wheel started up again—tic-tic-tic-tic.

‘I’m guessing you haven’t got it to work yet though.’

‘Well aren’t you the observant one,’ said the woman, voice thick with sarcasm.

‘Can I help?’

‘Doubt it.’

Elaine scowled. ‘I’m quite capable, you know. For my age. I make my own lunch for school, and I help Mum cook dinner every Thursday, and she even says I’m better at cooking than Evander, and I—’

‘It has nothing to do with your age.’

‘Oh.’ Elaine twisted her bracelet on her wrist. ‘Then will you let me help?’

The woman sighed. ‘Look.’ She scooped up a handful of the airy red wool and handed it to Elaine.

It was cold and soft beneath her fingers. Exactly how a cloud must feel, Elaine thought. ‘Wow,’ she breathed, stroking it with her fingers. It curled and gripped her knuckles and she giggled.

But then the red started to shimmer, fading to pink. And then to white. And then to grey.

Elaine drew a breath. ‘What happened? What did I do?’

‘Nothing.’ The woman scooped up the now grey clouds of colour and added it to a bigger pile of grey colour that billowed behind her chair. ‘It’ll fade no matter what you do. Just your presence is enough to chase the colour away.’

‘What?’ Elaine whispered. Tears pricked in her eyes.

The woman started spinning again. ‘What’s your name?’

Elaine sniffed and scrubbed her nose. ‘Elaine,’ she said. ‘What’s yours?’

‘Iris,’ said the woman. She was silent for a long while, until at last, she stopped spinning and turned to look at Elaine with those blue eyes. For some reason, they looked paler than before.

‘Elaine,’ said Iris, ‘you must promise me something.’

‘What?’ asked Elaine, her chest tightening. She knew what it was going to be.

‘You mustn’t tell anyone about me.’

Elaine’s lips flattened into a thin line.

‘Not your brother, or your mum. Not even your friends at school. No one must know I’m here.’ Iris fixed Elaine with a stern look, and Elaine closed her mouth around her protests. ‘Promise me.’

‘But—’

‘Elaine.’

She frowned. She looked at the spools of red thread on the spinning wheel’s bobbin, and the clouds of red gathered in Iris’s lap. Then she looked at the pile of grey behind Iris. If that small handful of red had faded at her touch, how much of the colour would fade if everyone came here?

‘Alright,’ said Elaine. She curled her arms around her knees. ‘I won’t tell anyone.’

Iris let out a slow breath, then nodded. ‘Good.’ She turned to the spinning wheel. ‘You’d better go now. You’re already making this batch fade.’

Elaine looked at the red again and saw she was right; the colour was pink now, fading slowly into white.

Elaine leapt to her feet and took a few steps back, and then paused. ‘What about you?’

Iris raised an eyebrow. ‘What about me?’

‘You’ll be all alone.’

Iris looked at her for a long moment. ‘I’ll manage,’ she said at last.

Elaine hesitated again, then slipped her bracelet off her wrist. ‘Here,’ she said, holding it out.

‘What’s this?’

‘A bracelet. Mum gave it to me for my birthday, but I want you to have it.’

Iris’s brow furrowed.

‘Please,’ said Elaine. ‘I can’t help you save the colours but I can give you this bracelet, and I can promise not to forget you.’

Iris hesitated then reached out a hand and took it. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered. Her eyes were wide and damp.

Elaine nodded and took a step back.

And then, before she could change her mind, she turned and fled through the forest of hanging grey sheets. I won’t forget, Elaine thought, her promise strengthening with every step. I won’t forget you and I won’t forget what you’re doing for us.

She could see the door ahead, a shaft of sunlight cutting across the ground. Her steps slowed.

‘Elaine!’ Hands closed on her shoulders—Evander. ‘Where were you?’

Elaine shook her head.

Evander ducked down to look at her. ‘Hey. What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing.’ She scrubbed at her damp cheeks.

‘Elaine.’

‘I just saw a mouse and got a fright.’

He peered at her, but she didn’t meet his eyes. She gripped her wrist where her bracelet had been, her pulse jumping beneath her fingers. I won’t forget. I won’t forget. I won’t forget.

‘Let’s go,’ she said, grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the doors.

‘But what about that person we saw?’

‘There’s no one here.’

‘Are you sure?’

She nodded.

Evander shrugged and stepped out into the slanting afternoon sun, but Elaine hesitated. She glanced over her shoulder, back into the warehouse.

‘Hey,’ said Evander, ‘what happened to your bracelet?’

The warehouse was thick with shadows and silence, the grey sheets swaying. She couldn’t see Iris, couldn’t see the bubble of yellow colour or the spinning wheel or the red clouds, but she knew it was there, hidden behind the colourless sheets.

‘Elaine?’ called Evander. ‘Come on.’

Elaine hesitated for a second longer, and to the darkness she whispered, ‘I won’t forget.’