Here we go again…

Another group exercise to help build moral like they actually care about us and the hours as put in, good grief . I hope they’re going to at least feed us this time I mean mandatory overtime and request for the need or urgency would be much more fueled off free lunch . As I grabbed my chair to take to the meeting room , I noticed a new face in the break room. Now typically fishing from the company dock has been a moral no for me , ok I did was at 18 but I was young and well hot and ready so to speak . But this woman was different someone I’ve never would’ve thought would catch my attention in such a manner . As she looked up at me , she did a double take not only did it make me embarrass myself and turn obviously red I managed to utter out what I was hoping a hello , was in fact the coffee in my mouth that I had foolishly taken a sip of . “Here we go again” I whispered as I reminded myself how I always tend to do something so dumb because of nerves . Needles to say I walked away in shame and upset because I had just bought this shirt . I’m fair on the eyes some would say average build has some sense of care to self present ability and by the chance the luck of knowing how to match and coordinate . My thought once she took that second glance like well I guess this color (shirt) paid off after all , but who was this woman where did she come from I’ve been here a solid 5 productive years , as far as to know the levels of management and the staff coming in so to speak . We weren’t a big company but financially at the time beneficial . As the meeting gathered an all personnel required to be in attendance finally sat in their leather chairs in their sloppy suits and boasted on how activities for us going forward were on our way and even got to go over process management skills and the benefits of production like break downs etc…. Very beneficial information but I’m not here to do this I’m a student with no money who unfortunately is not rich or expecting to inherit large money in the future . I have to pay for my college right now where is the lady from earlier and why is she here was all I cared about as I mentally took notes k the message trying to be given .

Finally! time for introductions , end of every group meeting we go over birthdays etc one being new hires . I sat up out of my chair finally without the slouch and tapped my co worker sitting next to me . Kumar was my long time co worker /turned friend who started at the time with me so guess you can say a strong force was built there , and both dedicated to accomplishing goals set forth. Dynamic duo and at times the gruesome twosome when off the record . He looked up at me with his goofy smile and Un even goatee he had been trying to grow all year. I whispered that’s her that’s the woman I told you about , as his smile diminished and looks of disappointment sat in first let me be clear and say the act of sexual harassment and speaking of individuals in vulgar manners is not condoned here or trying to be oddly justified if it comes across as such. As a woman myself I am not for maltreatment especially because of my gender. Back to the meeting , Kumar I guess expected someone younger more in our age group and voiced how he thought he was gna see Ariana grande the way I described this mystery beautiful woman I ran into and made a fool of myself in . He assured me I was ok considering I’ve done worse . She was older clearly but something about her stuck me , as she introduced her self and made eye contact yet again quite a few times during the meeting mind you . Now I’m not foolish to think they were all meant for me but it happened a lot and the eyes , they don’t lie . She was part of a wave that came from another company whom specialized in what we do as well along with a few others brought in by new boss . My new boss Kathy was an interesting character , upon meeting her a month prior she introduced herself but remained seated in her chair and didn’t even extend a hand shake . Now I’m not the upmost moral citizen but in such circumstances I feel that is necessary. Here we go again Strike one , fast forward turns out her and this mystery woman we are going to call Red for now are long time colleagues turned friendship as well . One not so good considering Kathy was also a lesbian who favored the more butch looking side like myself. I however don’t consider myself that nor any other label I’m more feminine than I appear some would say , still tbd. One lesbian in someone’s life is all you need sometimes we can tend to be alot just kidding . Here go again a new crush it’s been so long since I declared “hoe-atus” and chose to live in a weird sense of celibacy no contact nor want or desire to . My luck in the love train department tends to well not exist and I’m an expert at choosing those who are entirely wrong for me when doing so . Here we go again how is she different from the others cause you need to pick better as I told myself cleaning up after the meeting . I tend to like to stay behind process and gather the information received and this new gut punch that was consuming me all the sudden . As the next coup em of days went on she came into my area of the lab frequently mostly to understand our operation and mostly help manage and perfect our processes . A flirtation ship oddly enough built , now mind you my I didn’t appreciate what looked back at me in the mirror so constant wondering if she meant otherwise when she flirted was in fact that or possibly just in my head. I’m not one to make the first move in rare cases I will but that’s why their rare. Friday morning as I rolled into work hungover and wondering why I thought it was a splendid idea to stay up dancing and drinking all night with a girl I forgot her name and lost the number she wrote down for me . Here we go again another day another dollar I said as I walked in grabbed my coffee said hello to some colleagues and checked my email which I new was going to be a long day due to so many unread emails needing my attention. One sent that morning from Kathy congratulating the team and myself for hitting record quarters and goal accomplishments being at an all high . Special thanks was given to myself and colleague Kumar for our long hours invested and skills to get product out in good standing was bold and clear where the message was going as far as celebratory actions are to be in order

“TONIGHT WE WILL BE GATHERING AT THE LOCAL BREWERY TO CELEBRATE QUARTER END, birthdays new hire etc”

holy crap this is it this is my chance to step outside the office with red and relax a little , we both took our jobs serious at times and needed the stress relief.

immediately scheduled my hair cut grabbed a new shirt and went to this event. It was a low key celebratory “group exercise “ newly given for recent accomplishments designated for after hours out of office fun.

Till this day I wonder why I was so eager to go, till this day I question why I felt red was such a mystery . Till this I ask myself why I didn’t walk away when red finally made her advance , here we go again…. What started as a innocent work flirtationship turned into a web of sex , lies , drugs life altering decision making ,to a sad ending of friendship possible love all to total deception. Red was hiding a lot that was about to come on to me and have me so entangled no reasonable voice in my life made sense ,when it came to the seduction the sex and the lies and to keep it all under radar was even too much the manipulative Red .

Here we go again , all from that group exercise