After Heaven

TECHNICALLY, THEO DID know what he was getting himself into.

He just hadn’t exactly prepared well. Although, who could prepare for an apocalypse? Years ago, when he had first made the deal with Julian, he hadn’t given much thought to the terms. He knew them, of course (Jules had made sure of that) but he hadn’t really thought everything through. At the time, all he could think about was getting away from his current situation. He needed to escape Isla and her angels, needed to get as far away as he could from the purity and goodness. Heaven was beautiful, sure, but it was also suffocating. And gosh was it bright. Darkness never came to the city in the sky, for shadows were reserved for Hell and Hell alone. 

Overall, Hell sounded like a much better place. At least, it did back then. Theo had come to Jules a crying, messy, edgy little teen. He knew nothing, and anyway, everyone had that stage in their life, right? When they wanted the whole world to burn to the ground, and all the people to bow down to them or risk  being killed. Totally normal stuff.

And so, when the beautiful demon Julian had offered him a pair of his own red wings and black horns, Theo was ready to agree to just about anything. To be a demon, to be that powerful and cruel would be… otherworldly. To be able to kill anyone he wished and not have to do all that paperwork, all that moral review. And best of all, he’d never have to deal with Isla and her petty little squad ever again.

For Theo was so tired of being an angel, of always having to do the right thing. No one ever asked him what he wanted to do, no one ever wondered what he could do to help. He was done being underappreciated and underserved. He deserved the power and fame and darkness that came with getting your red wings. And damn, did those horns look awesome.

So it was that when Jules had told him that he could get his demonic baptism on the single condition that he assist in the mortal apocalypse in one thousand years time, he barely batted an eye before saying yes.

He didn’t regret anything for the first nine hundred or so years, that was for sure. And then, he grew feelings. How annoying emotions were, how messy they got. It was so much easier, so much more fun when he lacked empathy or a moral code. But no, of course the world wouldn't let him have those last few years to be an evil tyrant, God had to just bop him on the head and wave her magic wand and poof, he had compassion. He even grew a few morals.

And timed perfectly of course, for God had always been most punctual. Not two days after being blessed with emotion, Theo met Nicolina. She was a mortal; a small, wiry seven year old kid who was most unfairly cute. She had fat, round cheeks and a little black bob. Her eyes were most unusual though, a slate gray that made Theo nervous.

He came across the little girl on one of his killing sprees. He had just chased down a few men who were paying a little too much attention to their waitress- a girl of barely sixteen, jeering and touching and making her so uncomfortable, he really just couldn’t let it go on. He had cornered them in an alleyway, forcing them to watch, screaming mutely, as he drained their friends one by one of blood. 

Did this make him a hero? Certainly not, he thought, as heroes didn’t enjoy murder, did they? They were always getting tangled up in justice and what is right or wrong and blah blah blah. It was tiring, all that thinking. So no, Theo wasn’t a hero. A hero's work was far too difficult.

As he had been leaving the alleyway, he heard a muffled sobbing coming from around the corner. He went to explore the noise, and there he found Nicolina sitting in a puddle of her parent’s blood. Theo still didn’t know who it was that killed them, he only knew that Nicolina had managed to hide away for long enough to stay alive. He admired that, and now, thanks to God, he felt sorry for her too.

So, shrugging, he decided to take the little girl under his wing. If anything, he could turn her into a murderous killing machine; a villain memorable enough to tell nighttime ghost stories about. A tale to scare the children into doing their chores. You know, all that fun stuff.

But no, nothing could ever go to Theo’s plans, could they? For, instead of villainous the girl grew up to be kind and pure and so nice it started to rub off on him. He hated it, but he knew that him doing more good things made Nikki happy, so he figured it was worth at least that. He was growing soft, he knew, and secretly- secretly he didn't really mind it.

    When Nikki turned fifteen, Theo came to realize there were only eleven months left before his contract with Julian would need to be fulfilled. Worried that an apocalypse would mean his adopted daughter’s demise, he went to Julian one day to try and bargain.

    He realized, quite painfully, that one did not bargain with the devil's plan. He had signed an agreement, and he would be forced to go through with it. He also learned that yes, an apocalypse meant the end of all humankind. This put him in such a big worry, he did not realize he had been followed. When he did realize Isla was stalking him, it was too late, and she had bound his hands and clipped his wings and shipped him back up to Heaven. It was very uncomfortable, and he was very irritable by the end of it. Most annoying of all, of course, was that he had not been able to see Nikki and tell her what was up.

    Of course, Nicolina had to go and mess everything up when she came to Heaven herself, demanding her father figure be freed. The angels had laughed at her then, which more than angered Theo. He had gone into a little bit of a temper tantrum them, ripping off a few heads and wings and teeth. At the end of it, both him and Nikki were relatively fine (Theo was bleeding only a smidge).

    Although Theo had told Nicolina practically everything about who he was, he had left out the little detail of him needing to kill every human being in barely a year’s time. This, rightfully so, made Nikki anxious and she threw a bit of her own tantrum. They fought and yelled, but in the end they made up and started trying to figure out what to do.

    The only logical thing seemed to be to turn Nicolina into a demon, which wasn’t too appealing on her end but she understood these were desperate times. And so, the apocalypse came and went, and both Theo and Nicolina were able to rule the ashes in comfort and without worry. They dined on blood made from kings and danced in the ruins of queendoms. It was all quite wonderful, really. 

    They were bound to become bored eventually, and Theo was able to reconcile a bit with God, and convinced her to restart human life. These new humans were a vast improvement from the self-destructing bastards from before, so Nicolina and Theo were able to have a great ol’ time with them. Nicolina even fell in love with one of the creatures, turning her new girlfriend into a demon so everything would transition a bit better and be slightly more socially acceptable.

    Theo eventually settled down in a little gothic castle by the sea, spending his days plotting murderous pranks on Isla and her angels, and baking lots and lots of cookies and pies. Sometimes, Nikki and her new beau would come and visit him for tea, and he found he was actually quite content with where his life had brought him.