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Friendship Funny

Lost 

“Grow up,” Logan said as he jogged ahead of the Owen and Vern. “Freedom awaits!” he cried. “Oh, freedom can wait,” Owen replied. Vern nodded, taking the side of his less enthusiastic friend. Logan stopped and looked back at his friends. 

“Guys, really?” he asked. They both nodded. “Were tired,” Vern said. Logan shook his head. “Runaways can't be tired,” he replied. “We need to be ready to move at any given moment.” Owen took his backpack off and fell to the ground. “Break time,” he muttered. Vern also took off his backpack and laid down next to Owen.  

“Logan, three hours,” said Vern. “We’ve been walking for three hours.” Logan sighed, then slumped down next to his friends. He placed his backpack under his head as a pillow and looked up at the setting sun. “Think about it guys,” he said. “Us three, in the woods, no parents, no chores, freedom.”  

Vern pulled a candy bar from his pocket. “To freedom,” he said, but when he opened the wrapper, his chocolate bar fell in the dirt in a messy heap. Owen started laughing. “That's good stuff,” he said. Vern covered the chocolate with some leaves and ignored Owen’s comments. Logan took a sip of his water, then stood up. 

“C’mon, we need to find a place for the night,” he said, then grabbed his backpack and started up the hill. Owen and Vern consented and stumbled to keep up with Logan. “How long are we staying here,” Vern asked. “Well, until we die, I guess,” was Logan’s response.  

Owen picked up a stick from the ground and started to play with it. Logan froze, then pointed. “There,” he exclaimed. “Sanctuary.” The “sanctuary” he was talking about was really a fallen tree creating an arch. “Come amigos,” he said.  

Vern looked at Owen, who gave him a frown. Logan placed his backpack under a branch and motioned for his friends. “Let’s set up,” he said. Owen and Vern took their backpacks off and placed them next to Logan’s. 

“We should start collecting branches,” suggested Vern. “You know, for protection and shelter.” Logan nodded. “I'll go with you,” he said. “And Owen, start clearing any branches that will be in the way.” Owen nodded, then took a machete out of his backpack.  

… 

Logan and Vern had a fair pile of branches after thirty minutes. They started walking back to the sight when Logan saw it. “There,” he whispered. “Right there.” Vern looked in the direction and dropped his branches. “I see it.” What they were looking at was a plump rabbit, sitting next to a rock in the open. 

Logan motioned for Vern to go to the right, and then he crept to the left. Slowly and silently, the two closed in on the rabbit. Logan looked over at Vern and nodded, Vern did the same, then the two pounced. 

“We have returned,” Logan said when the two walked up to Owen. Vern held up the dead rabbit. “Behold, the spoils,” he said triumphantly. Owen smiled. “I finished,” he said, then stepped away so the boys could look at his work. “It's naked!” cried Logan. “What did you do?” Vern shouted.  

What used to be a large, bushy tree turned into a sliced, skinny stick. “What, you don’t like it?” Owen replied, unaware of his actions. Logan dropped his branches. “I said cut the branches that were in the way.” Owen shrugged. “We wouldn’t be able to get in if I hadn't cut those...” he paused. “We could have crawled under them.”  

Logan and Vern nodded. Owen shyly kicked a rock and sighed. “Sorry, but you guys have all those, right?” He asked pointing at the branches. “You idiot!” Vern cried. “Wait,” Logan interrupted. “We shouldn’t fight each other, or we won't last out here.” 

Vern grunted, then walked away and sat under the tree. Logan picked up the branches he had dropped and walked over to the tree. Owen followed him and started placing the branches against the tree. Logan and Owen did this while Vern set up a fire for the rabbit.  

For the next thirty minutes, Vern scraped two rocks together, hoping for a spark, nothing. He threw the rocks and cried out in frustration. “I can’t get the stupid fire going!” he said. Logan and Owen stopped placing branches and turned to Vern. “Calm down buddy,” Logan said.  

Vern picked up a stick and started to attack a nearby tree, but he only hit the tree twice before his stick broke. He slumped to the ground. “It’s useless,” he muttered. Logan sat down next to his friend. “Listen, take a break. Me and Owen got this.” Vern nodded, then rested his head against the smooth bark. 

Owen pulled something out of his pocket and held it up. “Behold,” he said. “Fire.” He pressed a button on the side and a tiny flame burst from the top. Vern looked up at Owen’s lighter and frowned. “Owen,” Logan said, trying not to punch his friend. “Let me get this straight. You had a lighter this whole time and said nothing because why?” Owen shrugged. “No one asked.” 

Logan snatched the lighter from his friend and bent down to light the pile of pine needles and moss. “Okay, now we skin the rabbit,” said Logan as he stood up. “Who knows how to do that?” Vern and Owen both shook their heads. 

“Were all gonna die out here,” Logan whispered, then picked up the rabbit. He took out his pocketknife and sat down. Vern and Owen sat next to him to watch the process. Logan had no idea what he was doing, but he was going to do it anyway. 

… 

After an hour, Logan had gotten all the skin and guts out and away from the rabbit. The boys stuck a pine branch through the meat and held it over the fire. “Dinner,” Logan whispered. “Who knows how long this should cook?” Owen shrugged. “Ten minutes maybe.” 

Ten minutes turned into twenty, and twenty minutes turned into thirty, then the meat was dark and looked cooked thoroughly. “It’s done!” Logan said, jumping up and down. Vern stood up with Logan and Owen. “Now,” said Vern. “We feast.” 

The boys started cutting chunks out of the rabbit meat and eating without hesitation. The meat was good, but a little hard. The boys then sat under their tree and looked at the stars. “This is our home now,” Vern said. Owen nodded. “I like it.” Logan took another bite of his meat and sighed. “We are survivors.” 

Suddenly, they heard a crack. The three looked in the direction of the noise. A large dark animal was walking around the ashes of the fire. “It's a bear,” Logan whispered, then picked up the spear he had made a while ago. Owen pulled out his machete and Vern grabbed a rock. 

“If we go down,” Logan whispered. “We go down fighting.” the two other boys nodded, then the three rushed out of their shelter. “Be gone foul beast!” Vern cried and threw the rock at the bear, but it wasn’t a bear, it was a deer just wandering around. The harmless animal looked at the three boys, then pranced away into the woods. 

“Um, okay,” Vern said. Logan and Owen were speechless. Vern looked back at his friends, and they looked at him. Then they all burst into laughter. They laughed for about ten minutes, then stopped. “Well,” Vern said, with tears in his eyes. “We’ll be ready if a bear actually does come.” 

“Be gone foul beast?” asked Logan. Vern shrugged. “I thought it was clever.” Owen shook his head. “No, not really.” Vern patted his friends on the back, then they all embraced in a hug. 

For the next hour, the boys looked to the heavens, then they fell asleep next to each other, having lasted one day as runaways. 

... 

The boys woke up at the break of dawn, covered in dew. Logan brushed the little beads off his shirt as he stood up. “Wake up guys,” he said. “The morning awaits.” Vern sat up with a grunt. “Why?” he asked, but when he looked at the sky, he cried out in anger. “It’s dawn!” 

Logan shrugged. “My ma always said it was a great time to wake up.” Vern stood up and looked at his cloths in disgust. “Wet,” he muttered. “Great way to start the day.” Owen stood up and looked at the sky. “Where are we going today?” he asked. Logan rubbed his chin. “I was thinking we go through the woods until we reach a small town and resupply.” 

Vern grabbed his backpack and pulled out his wallet. “I got a hundred dollars,” he said. “I saved before we planned for this.” Owen also pulled out his wallet. “I have two dollars.” Logan looked at his friend. “Two dollars?” he asked. 

Owen shrugged. “You said we were going to be self-reliant.” Logan sighed and shook his head. “I meant we aren't going to ask for help, not be like cave men.” Owen looked down at his wallet, then pushed it in his pocket. 

Logan took his wallet out and flipped through his bills. “I have fifty,” he said after he finished. “So, equally, we have enough money to last awhile.” Vern nodded in agreement. Owen pulled some jerky out of his backpack and passed it around. “That’s breakfast.” 

After they ate, they gathered all their stuff together and set off. “We should get pop tarts,” Vern said. “The S’mores ones.” Logan rubbed his stomach. “That sounds really good.” Owen threw a rock into the underbrush, but it flew back at him. 

“What the...” he whispered. “Nature has conspired against us!” Logan placed his hand on Owen’s shoulder. “No, it bounced off a rock.” Owen nodded but wasn’t buying it.” Vern ran his hands through his long, black hair and sighed. “I’m hungry. That jerky wasn’t enough.” 

Logan and Owen agreed with him. Thirty minutes past by and the boys kept walking. Soon, they ran into a creek, or a small stream. “I’m hot,” Owen complained. Logan pushed him down into the water. “That should cool you down.” 

Vern jumped into the water too, even though it was only a few inches deep. “Logan, C’mon,” Vern pleaded. Logan threw his backpack to the side and walked in with his friends. The water was cool and refreshing. Logan sat on the dry grass and rested his feet in the cold water. 

“Trust me guys,” he said. “From here on out we are going anywhere we want to.” Vern sat down next to Logan. “Yep.” Owen picked up a rock then threw it back in the stream. Logan stood up and put his shoes back on. “Nature calls,” he said, then walked away. 

Vern looked over at Owen. He was trying to break a stick on a rock but failing. “Owen,” he said. I’m sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” Owen looked up at his friend and smiled. “It’s cool.” Vern nodded, then started playing with a rock in the dirt. 

Logan came back after a minute with a handful of small berries. “Behold,” he said. “Food.” Vern and Owen stood up and walked over to their friend. “Are you sure those aren't poisonous or something?” Logan nodded. “I've had like ten, trust me. I got them off the manzanita.”  

Vern shrugged then grabbed a few from Logan. Owen reached forward and snatched the rest. The boys stood around munching on the berries for a minute, then started walking again. “Those were good,” Owen said. Logan nodded triumphantly. “Yes, they were.”  

… 

Those three boys never went back to their home town of Redding, Ca. They lived the rest of their lives roaming America, free and wild. They never left each other's side, they never hurt each other, and they always considered themselves family. These boys were lost, but they always knew where they were going. 

March 28, 2022 19:08

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1 comment

Amanda Lieser
03:06 Apr 08, 2022

Oh my gosh! This was such an interesting take on the Lost Boys trope. I really loved how we jumped right into the action. As the reader, I instantly wanted to know these boys just a bit more. I wanted to know why they ran away and if they were together in one home or if they found each other a bit along the way. I appreciated that you kept the realism of needing money in the world. I also like how you described their camping excursions balanced with the bit about Poptarts. Nice job! I look forward to reading your feedback on my piece.

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