A police report about a bizzare visit

A police report about a bizarre visit.

Sergeant Paul Barr

1800 hours Wednesday

18/08/24

I am writing this report of what I actually observed in a follow up telephone call I received at 10.30 a.m. this morning

I answered a distraught phone call from Douglas Feathwell, the resident manager of the apartment building on 76 East 63 Street, Manhattan New York. He requested in forceful and crude language that an officer come immediately to the building as it was in chaos. There was talk of revenge killings. I left immediately and arrived at the building at 1100 hours.

I entered a building that had a large, spacious entrance hall with a high ceiling. At the back of the hall there was an elevator and beside it a magnificent wide staircase leading to the upper floors. The scene in the entrance hall was such that I have difficulty describing it. My instant reaction was one of surprise and disbelief. There in front of me was a large bull mastiff dog, without a leash, fighting off two medium sized monkeys. Standing on either side of the fight were, I presumed, the two owners shouting and screaming at the animals and each other. They were valiantly trying to stop the fight with feeble attempts at using their leashes as whips. Against one wall was a frightened looking man with his hands covering his ears. It was clear the animals were fighting to the death. The monkeys were fast, leaping on and off the dogs back perpetrating vicious claw wounds and bits. The whole scene was beyond chaos. It was a tragedy about to happen. Not only were the animals fighting to their deaths but the two owners were on the point of engaging in a fight. The owner of the dog had pulled out a knife. The ambiance of the entrance hall was one of high tension with humans about to act like the animals. I quickly realized there was only one thing to do to spot this madness. I pulled out my revolver and shot a bullet into the ceiling.

It must have been the noise of the gun that echoed around the hall walls. For a few seconds the animals and the humans looked like frozen statues. Out of fear the monkeys and the dog immediately cowed down at their masters’ feet. It gave the owners enough time to put leashes on the animals. The dog had come off badly with nasty wounds on its back.. The dog owner was alreády demanding to be compensated for all the necessary veterinary fees. The hate and disdain between the two men was obvious. Just as I was about to speak I saw a large boa constrictor coming down the stairway.

“ God almighty what’s going on here?”

The dog owner immediately said, “Heavens, my pet snake must have gotten out of his cage. I live on the first floor.”

At this moment the man that was standing with his hands on his head stepped forward with an angry tone of voice. “I told you a month ago to get rid of that snake. We have already had enough trouble in the building with it getting out of his cage. Last month I found it sleeping in the elevator. Take your dog immediately up to your apartment and then come down again for the snake. I will ask this police officer to make sure you will be forced to get rid of it within a month.”

I turned to the man that had just spoken. “I assume you are the building manager who telephoned me.”

“Yes, I called you this morning, Now you see why.”

I then spoke to the monkey owner. “On which floor do you live?”

“On the third floor.”

“ Well I suggest you go there immediately as I see the snake is starting to move towards your two monkeys. Although the monkeys were now both on a leash I suspected the snake would attack them.”

Within minutes the owners and their animals had left the entrance hall leaving me and the manager with the snake that by this time it was moving slowly across the hall’s floor. I addressed the building manager. “The gentleman on the first floor had better hurry up or I will shoot his snake. I am terrified of these creators.”

My shooting the gun in the entrance hall had the desired effect on the situation but the noise had disturbed the whole building. It was not a very large apartment building with only five floors with an apartment on each floor. Except for the noise of the snakes scales over the tiled floor the entrance hall was calm. But unhappily for me a few other problems seem to be developing. The old woman on the second floor had opened her front door and was screaming, “police. I heard a gunshot.”

I shouted back to her. “It’s alright madame I am the police.”

The building manager was still standing in the entrance hall keeping his eye on the snake. He turned towards me and said, “you will have to go up and calm the old woman. She needs to see you to believe you are the police.” To avoid the snake, I crept around the walls and took the stairs to the second floor.” She greeted me with a surprised look.

“That was quick.”

“Madame, I was already in the building as there had been a fight between some monkeys and a dog that was out of control. Your building manager called for our help. Now let me guide you and help you return to your apartment”

I carefully lead her through her front door down a small passage to a large sitting room. To my surprise and amazement there were two beautiful parrots discussing in squeaky voices where their mistress had gone. I heard the word shooting, police.

“It’s alright my darlings I am here with a police officer.”

The old woman turned her face towards me and said, “they are my special friends that kept me company with their chatter. These are big apartments so they can have a little exercise by flying from room to room. Very occasionally I let them fly outside from the balcony. If I do it does not take long before they return. I think they prefer to be indoors with me. They are magnificent with their multicolored feathers aren’t they? My darlings.” She blew them a kiss. The parrots acknowledgement of her kiss was a little dance on their perches. I looked on in total amazement.

“Now officer, what about a cup of tea or coffee if you prefer.”

I was about to accept her offer when I heard a man’s loud voice shouting down the stairwell. I left the old woman with her parrots and went on to the landing. Above me on the fifth floor was the head and body of a large man calling down to find out what the gunshot was all about. I was preparing my reply when a woman rushed out of their apartment crying “ You animal, you are disgusting, how I hate you.” With that she threw two plates at him. He ducked and the plates crashed against the wall leaving scores of bits of china on their landing. I then saw him cross the landing to go back to his apartment shouting the words,”you bitch I will give you a hiding.”

I rushed up to the fifth floor to see what was going on. I went down the small passageway to their large sitting room. The woman was already on the floor with a nasty black eye. The man was kicking her with vicious leg strokes to the body. Before I could do anything she had managed under this onslaught to find a heavy object that she threw at a very large glass aquarium spanning the length of one wall. The object smashed the glass and a waterfall of water and fish swept into the apartment with the multi-colored fish desperately trying to save their lives. The man shouted, “my God, what have you done? That is the only thing I hold precious.” With that he gave the woman a mighty kick. For the second time I drew my gun and shouted, stop, stop or I will shoot.”

He turned to me, reflecting a bundle of angered surprise, “what are you doing here?”

It’s lucky I am here, you are under arrest for assault and battery. I feel sure this poor woman will have no difficulty in levelling complaints at you, particularly as a police officer was present. So sit down while I handcuff you.” I then called in for back up.

I had to wait 10 minutes before backup arrived. In the meantime I had to call an ambulance because the woman was in a bad way. When the backup arrived they were appalled to see the condition of the woman. They quickly led the handcuff man away to a prison cell in the police station while they processed his crime. Five minutes after their departure the ambulance arrived. During all this activity I had to deal with the building manager who had arrived on the scene in an agitated state of losing control. On the fourth floor the occupants were away on holiday but as the building manager had a key had found a stream of water coming from their sitting room ceiling and flooding the floor. On the third floor the monkeys were in a state of excitement washing themselves from the water leaking through the ceiling. On the second floor apparently the parrots were enjoying drips of water. I understood, for the present, there was silence from the first floor. When the manager saw all the dead and dying fish littering the fifth floor he immediately found a large bucket and was religiously filling it with fish.

I looked at him and said, “You will have plenty of work on your hands to clear up this mess. I am leaving now but I will send a veterinarian around to make sure the collection of animals are being correctly looked after. Also, no doubt, the police department will want to know if it is within the city’s law to harbor certain animals. It was an eventful morning.”

David Nutt 27th August 2025.