Come Back to Me

Trigger Warning: death and grief

Pauline knelt down on the ground, tears streaming down her face as she ran her fingers over the block of cement on the ground. It was odd to have a funeral at night during a full moon, but it was Mitchell’s favorite part of the day, so everyone agreed that it seemed only right to honor his memory. Her nose was red from the cold and the tears, but she didn’t care. 

“Our stories not over. It shouldn’t be over. It should just be beginning” she sobbed. Wrapping her black jacket around herself, she wiped the tears from her face. 

Mitchell McGrath. 

Beloved son, friend and boyfriend. 

August 4, 1998-February 3, 2020. 

It was unexpected the way it had happened. Mitchell was at a party and he tripped and fell down a hill, hitting his head on a rock. He hadn’t even been drinking. If you asked Pauline, she was pretty sure the popular classmates that had been bullying Mitchell were behind it, but there wasn’t enough proof for the police to actually do anything about it. Still, she was still in shock, but after a week and a half, she knew there was nothing that she could do to get Mitchell back. Biting her bottom lip, she continued to sob. 

Coming up behind her were Morgan Pace and Chris Camp, her best friends. They squeezed her shoulders and smiled softly at her. “We’ll see you at the diner, okay?” Morgan said. Pauline nodded and they made their way to their car, exchanging concerned looks. Pauline wanted to convince them she was fine, but she knew that’d be a lie. 

With no one else there, the blonde allowed herself to let go and her tears began to flow like the rain did earlier. She didn’t even want to think about how bad she looked and she didn’t care. Wiping her tears one last time, she stood up, kissed the top of the gravestone and exited the cemetery. 

Fifteen minutes later, Pauline found herself outside of Sugar Shack, the diner that she had become familiar with throughout the years. It was actually where she and Mitchell went on their first date. That was partially the reason why they decided to meet here after the funeral. Mitchell was seen there more than he was his own house. She fixed her ponytail before heading inside. 

As she entered through the door, her eyes met with Chris’. He was sitting at the booth they had always frequented wearing a suit and his ginger hair slicked back. She took her seat and tried her best to smile, but it was forced. “Where’s Morgan?” she asked, not ready to talk about the funeral. 

“She’s ordering a milkshake.” His eyes shifted to the counter and Pauline looked back at the bronzed girl in a black Peter-Pan-collared dress. A moment later, Morgan slid into the booth next to Chris and set down her chocolate shake. “Hey, Morg,” he said, kissing her cheek. 

Pauline ignored the pang that she felt in her heart. It wasn’t fair to feel jealous of her friends and the love they had for each other. They had nothing to do with Mitchell dying and have been nothing but kind and considerate to her as they were all adjusting to a life without the fourth member in their extremely tight group. Even as she looked around the diner, a flood of memories came back and she blinked back the tears as they resurfaced. 

“God, I can’t wait to get out of this town,” Mitchell told her one time they were sitting in the exact same booth. He was tired of living in this small town. They both had aspirations that were too big for this small town. Pauline wanted to be a detective and Mitchell wanted to write the next great American novel. He often joked about writing the next great American novel and using her cases as inspiration. 

“Pauline White, if you aren’t the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” That was the first thing he said to her when they went on their third date. She was so taken aback and full of love for him that she didn’t know how else to respond than to kiss him. It was their first kiss. Pauline smiled as the memory came back to her and she could still feel Mitchell’s lips on hers. 

“You know, you don’t have to go home if you want to.” He bit down on his bottom lip as they sat next to each other on the couch after a night of working on homework together. “I don’t want you to.” They had been broken up for three months, but was very obvious they still had feelings for each other. Pauline took the opportunity to kiss him after months of longing. 

Pauline was beyond shocked the day that Mitchell showed up to her house even though they were going on a date in a few hours. “I just couldn’t wait to see you,” he said, wrapping her in his arms and breathing in her scent. It was moments like that that made her feel like a princess with her own love story and she couldn’t believe how lucky she had gotten. She felt her heart shatter as she remembered she would never get moments like those again. 

“Happily ever after is real and we’re gonna get it,” she remembered telling him when they were discussing their future together. She was so certain of it and now she heard fate’s cold laugh. You thought, it practically whispered in ear. She didn’t know whether to break down in tears or curse herself for being an idiot to think that would have all the time in the world to be together. 

Mitchell asked her to come over to his house after the last day of their Sophomore year of high school. Pauline wasn’t sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t a romantic candlelit dinner for two. When the words, “Pauline White, I love you,” left his lips, she felt herself begin to cry tears of joy. 

“Mitchell McGrath, I love you too.” The response was almost instant and the two kissed. It was the beginning of what they thought would be a very long life together. 

Flashes of almost every kiss the two shared came to her mind. Their kisses at parties, at prom, homecoming, their high school graduation. Pauline wrapped up in Mitchell’s arms after a long night of the two having a movie marathon. She tried to hold onto the memory and savor the feeling of his lips on hers. She began to cry and there was nothing she could do to stop them. 

Morgan’s hand gripping hers brought her back to the present. “He was your soulmate. You have to know that. There wasn’t a pair more perfectly made for each other.” She smiled at her best friend who was doing her best to look at her through the tears. 

“He’s never gonna come back,” Pauline sobbed. “I don’t know how I’m going to survive it.” Morgan strengthened her grip, keeping the blonde grounded. “I don’t think I can live like this anymore. I keep waiting for Mitchell to come back, but he won’t. I just need to accept that.” 

“It’s not gonna be easy, but you’re gonna survive this,” Chris spoke up. He exchanged a look with Morgan. “We all are. Because it’s what he would want.” 

Pauline, Morgan and Chris spent the night recalling their memories with Mitchell, both as a group and individually. This was easily one of the hardest things they’d ever have to go through, but it would be okay because they had each other.