The Essay

Okay, so I’m trying to write this essay… you see where I’m going? Well, I need you help. Owls, that’s what it’s on, not quite sure why I chose to write about owls for my end of term essay but I’m stuck with it now. I also sort of like owls. Sort of.

Abi said I was mad, delusional. “You’re writing about a really stupid, very cute big bird! Also, James have you ever even seen an owl before.”

“I’d like to inform you that yes, James here has seen an owl before. James has also touched said owl-” I replied proudly before being cut off.

Abi clears her throat, “-Where did you see and touch this owl then.”

“Ermmm village fete…”

“Just as I thought, what did you learn about said owl.”

“Well, nothing really, I just sort of stroked it and then handed it back to the man. Looking back on the experience it was extremely expensive for the amount of time and information I was given. Right ripoff.”

Abi just laughed, I personally didn’t think it was very funny. I might try and find that man and get my money back.

Anyway, the essay…

“Owls are birds from the order Strigiformes.” I type.

Ha, got you there didn’t I? You thought that I might actually know what I was talking about. Little do you know I actually just copy and pasted that from Wikipedia. The black letters look so good on the massive white screen but I begrudgingly hit the delete key until I’m back to the start. Abi would be finding this hilarious if she were here…

Essay! I keep losing track. I’m going to get nowhere at this rate, I’m not even going at any rate. Penelope can bang out an essay for something she knows nothing about in an hour. I’ve sat and watched her do it, it’s incredible. I must add it to the list of incredible superpowers I want… Not that I’ve got a list… She tried to teach me but eventually I ended up reading a rules of quidditch poster that hangs in her bedroom. She didn’t notice I’d zoned out until ten minutes afterward. Not much of a people person.

Owls, stupid owls! And writing, why can’t I write. I’m not the brightest star in the night sky but I can remember biology key words any day of the week. I could ask Penelope to write it for me but that’s usually a waste of time. The last time I asked it went something like this:

“Shush James, I’m trying to focus. Make yourself useful and sit on the bed, twiddle your thumbs or do something quiet.”

I waited twenty minutes until she finished writing what seemed to be an entire novel. 

“You may speak.”

“Well, I need you to write this essay. I’ve tried and I can’t. The topic is beluga whales.” Yes another stupid topic, you don’t have to say anything.

“No way José, I’m not doing any of your dirty work for you, I barely have enough time for my own work with you bothering me all the time. So in simple speak, no. Go home, James.”

Perhaps I won’t ask her this time, I think if I bother her again this week she might bite. Abi says she’s even crazier than I am. I wouldn’t say I’m crazy, Abi’s just melodramatic.

Believe it or not, I’ve taken essay writing classes, loads. Still can’t write one any better than I used to. The school thought I had dyslexia but scratched that idea really quickly when they realised that I read anything and everything with ease. Max, my brother says that I’m just special, that I can’t fix it, that I’m broken.

Penelope walks through the door disrupting my chain of thought and stairs at my laptop screen. She giggles and mutters, “Just as I thought.”

“Who even let you in?” I say, gesturing my hand towards the door as she plants herself onto my clean sheets.

“I did, the door was unlocked and I couldn’t be bothered to wait for you. I thought you might be daydreaming and I was right.”

“But-”

“-Well I decided to come because just about now is when you usually ask me to help you with your essay. I was actually quite disappointed when you didn’t show up. Frankly, I was worried about you, well not you, your essay.” She gestures towards my computer screen, “and I was right. What daft topic have you chosen this time?

I didn’t want to tell her. “Owls…”

She huffs and puts her hands over her face. Her way of telling me I’m an idiot.

“Would you mind choosing something a bit easier next time? And something a bit more specific let's go with barn owls.” I don’t even answer, she leans towards me and looks over my shoulder at the screen. “Barn owls are the predators of the sky during dawn and dusk.” She keeps looking at me after she finishes and I realise I’m meant to be writing this down. Penelope huffs and carries on, “They use mostly sound to locate their prey with their feathers being so soft they fly silently allowing them to hear the slightest noises from prey from up to three metres flying overhead. The hearing is the most sensitive to any creature tested.” 

I gape at Penelope in astonishment wondering how she knows all this stuff.

“Shut your mouth you’re not a cod,” I clamp it shut quite quickly. When Penelope tells you to do something you should probably do it. “Alright, that’s enough to get you started.” She says as she pushes herself away from the desk and flops onto the bed crunckling the clean sheets even more, I wince and glare at her, “Well… go on then-” She gestures towards the laptop. “-get cracking.”

I do, but only for ten minutes, eventually I lose focus and type the same word over and over again. After a while Penelope looks up at the screen. “Oh James… You know what, let me do it.”