The Last of the Mundane

2:14pm August 1, 2019

There was something about the laziness of summer that called to Allison. The heat comforted her, surrounding her with the warmth of sunlight reflecting off the pool, ever increasing the natural tan she seemed to carry throughout the whole year. In summer anything seemed possible, a far cry from the start of every school year and mundane routine established with it. Summer meant vacations, parties with friends, staying up too late and sleeping the day away. It meant those stupid flings that seemed perfect in the summer heat yet when the realities of the world came crashing back down around them, were impossible to carry on. Summer had always been what Ali looked forward to most in the world, but this year everything had been different.<p>

Flopping down on the oversized blue comforter the eighteen year old let out a long sigh. Time was running out and there were still so many things she wanted to accomplish before she had to load her car and drive to the university four hours away from her hometown. She was attending Shepherd University, a member of the women’s soccer team, meaning she would be leaving several weeks earlier than the rest of her classmates. It was a daunting task, to leave behind everything and everyone she knew to head to chase her dreams of playing collegiate soccer. The only member of her school to be attending the University in the Eastern Panhandle of the state, Ali was already feeling the loneliness creep into her. 

“I thought you were supposed to be packing?” 

The voice startled her, forcing her to roll over to look her younger brother over. “I thought you were supposed to be mowing?” This was how they communicated, a series of questions before one of them broke and began to laugh. However, there was no laughter today. They both felt the upcoming change. In two days she would be driving away and the normalcy they had known for the past fifteen years would be over. In three weeks he would be headed for high school and she would already be in classes and games. Alone. The word had been echoing in her head for the past week, but she did her best to tune it out.

“You wanna talk about it?” Her younger brother, now a foot taller than her, doing his best to cheer her up, but there was no use. The fear of the unknown was settling around her and there was little anyone could do or say that would bring her out of the funk she found herself in.

At the age of fourteen she had been diagnosed with depression for the first time. Allison had always had an overactive imagination, but puberty had changed it into something more. At fifteen anxiety had been added to the diagnosis. Even with the coping mechanisms the past four years of therapy had given her, this was something completely different. Everything in her was screaming to not go, to stay in the safety of what was known, but that wasn’t an option. She had signed, taken scholarship money, and was completely signed up for classes. She had a spot, not just in the school, but on a team and it was the one thing that was her motivation to keep going. “There’s not much to talk about, but thanks, Danny.” She pulled her brother to her, smothering him in a tight embrace, laughing as he squealed to be released, and then let him go just as quickly as she had clutched him to her. “Go mow before you have Mom up here yelling at us both.”

6:30pm August 1, 2019

Dinner. It was the one thing that had never been negotiable in the house, save for when games required it. Allison’s parents used the time to grill their children on what they had done, what they planned to do, what goals they had for the future. It was a bonding time and they were free to talk about anything, though the young woman hardly ever said a word unless in response to a direct question. She was far more comfortable sitting back and listening, learning about her family. Even as a young boy Danny had been the more outgoing one, more eager to take risks. He was popular and naturally knew how to command a room. Allison was the opposite and it was even more noticeable at the nightly dinners.

Looking to her plate of food, pushing the summer squash around the edge of her plate, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander. In two days, less now, she would be heading for college. She would leave everything she knew, including these dinners, behind. The thoughts of failure, of disappointing her entire family, were growing louder, heavier under the weight of their expectations. Her father’s voice snapped her back to the table and she blushed, unsure of what he had said. 

“Sorry. What did you say?”

“I asked if you were getting excited. Big changes are heading your way. You’ll love college. It’s where I really grew into myself.” She had heard those words, over and over, throughout the course of the summer. Both of her parents had thrived in college, it seemed. It was supposed to be comforting, enlightening, but Ali just found the pressure mounting more. 

“I guess,” the teen mumbled, shoving some of the casserole into her mouth just to avoid the conversation. This was her least favorite of summer meals, but eating was better than having to feign excitement. 

It was her mother’s turn to take up the attack, though she knew neither meant it as such. “College is where you’ll meet the people who will be with you for the rest of your life. It’s where your father and I met. Do you remember that night, the party? I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you, but it took the rest of the semester to track you down.”

“I don’t, but I’m glad one of us remembered enough from that night to make a move.” They laughed, Danny groaned, and Ali remained fixated on her plate. At least until the clatter of a spoon bouncing off her plate caused her to look up startled. Her father was just smiling down the table at her.

“Bug, you’re going to do great. I know it is a big step right now, but you’ve accomplished everything you’ve set your mind to. This will be no different. And we’re always a phone call away,” he said, staring directly at her. It was as if he knew that was exactly what she needed to hear, to hear the love and support that had always come from her family. They were the ones who had seen her at her worst and picked the pieces back up again. Just because she was moving out, taking the first steps toward building a life of her own, didn’t mean they weren’t going to be as much a part of her life. All she could do was nod, the familiar sting of salty tears burning the corner of her eyes.

8:51pm August 1, 2019

Her room was little more than piles of tubs, neatly organized and labeled with masking tape. Allison was finishing scribbling ‘bedding’ onto the tape on the top most tub when she felt the familiar vibration of her cell phone in her back pocket. Without much fuss she pulled the large device out and glanced at the screen. ‘Bonfire. Neal’s. Both teams r invited. U comin?’ Allison read the text and smiled. Sandra had been her best friend and co-captain on the high school team, holding the two ends of the field in check. Allison was the goalkeeper, leader of the defense. Sandra was the forward and in the school’s record books for the third leading goal scorer during her high school career. Ali was heading to a Division 2 school while Sandra had cemented a place at one of the two D1 schools in the state. 

Quickly she typed back ‘Need to check with the rents’, her fingers flying across the tiny screen. Uncertainty crept in her. The going away party scheduled for tomorrow had been slated for weeks and her mother had certainly gone overboard with it, but Allison knew this was the last time to truly be with her friends. Her steps echoed down the stairs as she made her way to find her mother, hoping to avoid having to talk to her father. It was his voice she heard first. “Where’s the fire?”

“Mom around?” At his look, THE look, she knew she would be forced to talk to him too. “The teams are having a get together at Neal’s. It’s bonfire night. Sandra texted and asked if I was coming. Can I go?”

She watched as her father’s face softened and he nodded. “Remember you have to be functioning tomorrow. Don’t drink and drive. If you need a read, my phone is on. Call. I mean it, Bug. I love you.”

Allison threw herself into her father’s arms, kissing his cheek, before grabbing her keys from the peg by the door. “Thank you. I love you. I’ll be safe.” And she would. Ali wasn’t the type to drink, especially this close to season. She had never liked the loss of control alcohol brought on. This solely was a social event. 

Stepping out of the tan Honda Accord that had been given to her on her sixteenth birthday, Allison couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. Already she could see the smoke rising, hear the familiar voices echoing through the dusk. Grabbing her water bottle she made her way to the back, nodding to a few of the underclassmen of the boys’ team she recognized, but hadn’t really been close to. They were going to be the future, just as she had once been. “ALLISON!” The yell startled her, but her smile grew as she laid eyes on Sandra. 

“San!” she called back, running to meet her best friend in an embrace. “Can you believe this is our next to last night of freedom?”

“Next to last? I leave tomorrow. Practices start Saturday for me,” Sandra explained, her smile fading slightly. “This summer has been crazy. I’ve been up every day working with a personal trainer just to make sure I’m ready from the start. Apparently, that’s the only way to ensure playing time.”

“Geeze. That sounds intense. I guess that’s why we haven’t really gotten to hang out?” Allison knew it was a commitment. She had also been following the workout and training structure her coach had emailed at the beginning of the summer, but it wasn’t anything different than the work she put in during the offseason in high school. “I guess that’s the price that comes with wanting to continue to play.”

Sandra’s laugh filled the air and she nodded. “C’mon. Everyone’s here and have been wondering where the hell you were.” Ali knew that was only partially true, but she let herself be dragged. It was easier than protesting and the result would be the same. The night was needed. A time to unwind and talk, admit to their fears for the upcoming year and offer strategy to the new high school seniors now expected to fully lead their teams. For the first time in a week Allison found herself forgetting her upcoming departure and the fears that surrounded her. She stayed later than she should, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. This was her time, her last time, to be surrounded by the people who had been her close friends in high school. They were as much her support system as her family and she would be leaving them all in just over twenty four hours.

2pm August 2, 2019

The morning had been a hectic one, especially on little sleep, but Allison had powered through. There were still things she had to pack on top of helping to set up for the guests that were due to start arriving any minute. She had just taken a seat on the couch and pulled out her phone when her Danny came running into the room, looking a mix of terrified and on the verge of laughter. “You’ve gotta come see this. Mom and Dad are having a full on water fight with the hose. When I left, Dad was winning.”

And so up she stood and followed her brother out to the backyard. Instead of rinsing off the chairs, as had been the plan, her father was chasing her mother around the yard, her mother squealing with delight and annoyance. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling. These would be the moments she missed, but she also appreciated the things they taught her. Her parents had always displayed the best way to keep a loving relationship alive and full of fun. Their spontaneous moments of childlike behavior had been embarrassing, and Ali wouldn’t claim this scene wasn’t embarrassing as well, but it also taught her life was a balance. These moments had helped her deal with both her anxiety and depression and these were the people who had always made them happen. She would miss this.

8pm August 2, 2019

The party was winding down and Ali felt the exhaustion creeping in. Most had come and gone, offering words of wisdom and more platitudes than she knew what to do with. Time had spent with friends and family, stories shared, embarrassing moments shared. Those who hadn’t been present at the graduation party gave small gifts, which she thanked them for, but it was the showing of support that really made her feel thankful. These were the people she counted on, the ones who had always supported her. They were the friends she had made through years of schooling and the family who had known her from birth. As she began to clean up the aftermath of plates and cups, tear down the tables they had borrowed, the tears began to silently fall for everything she would be leaving behind.

7am August 3, 2019

The alarm sounded far louder than Ali would have liked, and it took everything in her power to not hit the snooze button. She knew she had to get up, get a light breakfast, and get the car loaded. She had two hours before she had to be on the road and that would barely give her enough time to get everything done, but it was doable. She quickly threw on the clothes she had left out for travel, Already she had a small load to do after arrival, but she had been doing her own laundry for years. This wouldn’t be a change. 

Groggily she made her way downstairs only to find her family already seated around the table, Danny looking far less pleased about having to be up this early. It took everything in her to not cry at the sight. Their last meal together. It wasn’t dinner, but breakfast. For a moment she wasn’t sure she could stop the tears that threatened to fall, but she managed, taking her usual seat at the table with her bowl of oatmeal already situated. “You didn’t have to be up for this.”

“And miss our last meal together? Yeah, right,” Danny said through a yawn and then proceeded to talk about the random conversations he had been forced into the night before. It was as if nothing was changing in a few hours time, as if she wouldn’t be driving away to start college. Everything was the way it should be for that last meal together, Ali barely saying a word, just taking it all in.

And then Danny was standing to leave, a rushed hug before he was forced to head for the first day of football tryouts. Mom was driving him, but her hug was less rushed. “You’ll be great. Don’t forget to call when you get there. And call once a week. You’re my baby bug and I’m going to worry about you. I love you more than anything, Allison.” Upon release Ali saw the tears in her mother’s eyes and fought to keep her own at bay. The end of a chapter was upon them all and Ali didn’t want to think about it.

It wasn’t long after that the car was loaded down with all of her gear. It had taken some careful arranging, but somehow everything had managed to fit. With the final bag loaded into the car, Allison turned and look at the house she had been raised in, the tears openly flowing now, but also an excitement lurking just beneath the surface. “You know how much we love you, Bug. You’re going to do amazing things, but you have support here whenever you need it. It’s only a car ride away and we’ll be there for your games and homecoming. Remember how loved you are and hang tough. Keep to the standards you have set for yourself and you’ll do wondrous things. I love you, Bug.” The words caught her off guard, the love of her father usually not shown this way.

Before she knew what she was doing she was in his arms, going in for the last big hug she’d get for a while. “I love you, too, Dad. I’ll be okay.”

“Yes. You will.”