Love and War

The sun soaked the evening in gold light and as Ruth looked out across her garden she took a deep breath in. It had been raining that afternoon and she closed her eyes in order to savour the fresh, earthy smell it had left behind. She smiled to herself as the sound of her grandchildren’s laughter floated down from the open bathroom window above her. She could hear her husband laughing as the sound of water splashing in the tub echoed down to her. Ruth let out a small laugh, picturing the state the bathroom would be in when they were done in there; she could have sworn sometimes that her husband was the biggest kid of them all, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Her hands rested on the handrail that bordered her back porch. The white paint was beginning to peel and as she ran her hands over the wood great flakes of white came off in her hands. ‘We’re getting old girl’, she thought, half to herself but also half to the house. She had lived in this house since she first came to England and her husband had added the porch specially for her; she couldn’t help feeling sad when she thought about how old they both were. As she stood in the summer air she couldn’t help but reminisce about how many years had passed since they had embarked on their adventure together.

As a child, Ruth had, like many others her age, dreamed of love and wondered if she would ever meet her prince charming. However, this was a dream she had quickly realised was not going to be easy. It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when she had realised that love and marriage were not necessarily mutually exclusive. Perhaps it was one of the many evenings as a young child that she sat with her parents as they spoke to each other in short, curt sentences. Or perhaps when she was 11 and she walked in on her best friends’ parents arguing when she was supposed to be playing outside with the others. Or perhaps when she was 14 and she noticed a smudge of lipstick on the corner of her father’s shirt, when she knew her mother never wore makeup of any kind. All of these events contributed to Ruth’s lack of interest in pursuing a marriage without love and romance, and by the time she was 17 years old she was one of the few girls her age without a boyfriend or fiancée.

Ruth had long been seen by her friends and neighbours as one of the most beautiful girls in the area, meaning she had many admirers lining up for a chance to enchant her. She was not the kind of girl to let her head run away with itself, and she was yet to find someone she felt a genuine connection with. While this didn’t seem to matter to the people she knew, Ruth knew she simply could not marry someone that didn’t feel right for her. “You’re making it an awful lot harder for yourself, you know,’ her friend Maria had said to her once, after Ruth had finished telling her about the latest man she had been on a date with.

“How so?” Ruth retorted. “Just because I want to be with someone who makes me happy? I don’t think that’s too much to ask at all”

“You could be perfectly happy by now.” Maria cried “You could have a husband and a house with a click of your fingers but you keep turning away perfectly good options”

“Because I don’t feel anything for any of them! Seriously Maria, how can you expect me to marry a man I don’t love?”

“You can learn to love a good man Ruth. Besides, I don’t need to remind you that good men are hard to come by these days.” With that, her friend had reached up to plant a kiss on Ruth’s cheek before turning down the lane that led to her house. As Ruth watched her go, she couldn’t help but feel slightly sad. Her best friend was a short but feisty woman who had a much more practical approach to life than she did. However, this hadn’t stopped Maria from finding true love; she had already been engaged to a young man who had left to fight in the war. He had given her a ring and promised to return to marry her and whisk her away to a better life. Less than two months later, Maria had received the news that he had been killed in action. Ruth had never seen her friend so devastated, she had hardly gone outside or eaten for months. It had been almost a year and Ruth was just glad to see her friend feeling better, even if it was at the expense of having her own love life called into question.

 The next morning, Ruth was up and ready earlier than she had been for some time. Today was the day of the harvest festival, and there was a fair coming into town for the day. This meant that the town would be full of people and she planned to meet Maria and go in together. She wore a soft white cotton blouse tucked into a baby blue pleated skirt that fell just below her knee. The material was so and light and she loved the way it moved as she walked. She had tied some of her long hair back with a ribbon that matched her skirt, and a worn pearl necklace rested on her collar bones. They weren’t real pearls of course, but they looked as good as, and Maria had sworn you couldn’t tell. She sat at the small wooden table in her kitchen and tapped her foot impatiently. She was supposed to meet Maria at 11am and she was watching the clock as the hands crawled past 10:45am. She stood up abruptly, Maria’s house was only a 5-minute walk away but she couldn’t wait any longer. She had such a good feeling about what the festival would bring and she simply couldn’t wait for it to begin, and as she stepped out into the morning sun, she could smell the potential in the air.

The girls laughed as they stumbled off of the helter-skelter together. “Where to next?” Maria shouted to Ruth; they were barely a foot apart but the noise of the fair would drown them out if they didn’t shout.

“Let’s head to the ferris wheel,” Ruth yelled back. Maria grinned and nodded and the girls began pushing their way through the crowd. As they made their way through the throngs of people, they noticed that a lot of people were gathering around some army trucks that had parked along the side of the fair. Ruth could see almost every girl she knew crowded around the vehicles and she pointed this out to Maria.

“British soldiers,” she said, with a roll of her eyes. “The girls will be over there flirting”

“How can they flirt? Most of them don’t speak any English,” Ruth replied, but as she watched she felt a pang of jealousy. As if she could read her mind, she felt Maria nudge her in the side.

“Why don’t we go up and speak to them? You speak better English than any of those girls, and you’re prettier too!” her friend teased. Ruth laughed at Maria but couldn’t help feeling drawn towards the crowd.

“What are British soldiers even doing here anyway?” Ruth asked her friend, “the last I heard they were all needed in France.”

“They sent troops in to stop Germany advancing in the North” Maria replied, eyeing up her friend, “do you want to go and speak to them or not?”

“Maybe we could walk past?” She said quietly. A grin spread slowly over Maria’s face and she linked her arm through Ruth’s and dragged her around the small booth they had been stood beside. Now the route to the ferris wheel went directly past where the trucks were lined up. Maria and Ruth shot each other encouraging looks and set off towards the ferris wheel.

As they got closer to the crowd, Ruth noticed that those closest to them had begun to stop and stare, and some of the men even let out low whistles. The girls laughed and carried on, but as they walked the white cardigan Ruth had brought with her dropped to the floor. She stopped and turned to retrieve it, but someone had beaten her to it and there was suddenly a soldier kneeling on the floor with her cardigan in his hand. He looked up at her and Ruth felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She looked into his eyes and found herself wondering how it was possible for eyes to be so bright and so blue. He stood, slowly and dusted her cardigan off before handing it back to her.

“Luckily it wasn’t too muddy,” the man said, “that will brush right off.” His voice was deep and rich and her ears savoured the sound. She let out a light laugh and looked down at the floor.

“Thank you,” she said, shocked that her voice sounded calm and soft, she was so sure it was going to be shaking. She began wondering desperately how she was going to have a conversation with the kind soldier without giving away how nervous she was.

“Where are you girls headed?” He asked them both, but his eyes were glued to Ruth.

“The ferris wheel,” Maria responded cheerfully. “Although I’m terrified of heights,” she laughed. Ruth shot her friend a quizzical look.

“Why go on a ferris wheel if you’re so scared of heights?” the soldier asked, looking briefly at Maria before his eyes drifted back to Ruth.

“It’s my friend’s favourite,” she replied, “and I don’t want her to have to go by herself.”

Ah Ruth thought, I see what she’s doing now. She could have rolled her eyes at Maria’s plan.

“Well,” he said, exactly as Maria had planned, “I would be more than happy to accompany your friend.” He looked into Ruth’s eyes and smiled at her, causing her heart to flutter against her ribcage.

“Are you sure?” she asked, “you don’t have to.”

“It would be a privilege.”

He extended his hand to her and Ruth placed her hand in his palm. As their hands touched, Ruth’s breath caught in her throat and a jolt of electricity jolted through her. He placed her hand on his arm and they began walking towards the ferris wheel. As they moved away, Ruth shot a look back at Maria over her shoulder. Her friend stood grinning from ear to ear and gave her friend a thumbs up.

They reached the entrance to the ferris wheel and made to join the back of the queue before the operator of the ride called them over. He extended his hand to the soldier and thanked him for his service, before letting them on to the ride without queuing or payment. Ruth smiled up at the soldier as he thanked the stranger and realised that she too should give him her thanks, but before she could she need to know one thing.

“So,” Ruth said, “what is your name soldier?”

“My name is Merle,” he laughed, “and yours?”

 “My name is Ruth”

He extended his hand to shake, “it’s nice to meet you Ruth.” Ruth took his hand and they laughed as the ride jolted into motion. As they ascended Ruth offered the soldier his thanks and they began to talk. Ruth had never felt so at ease with another person before and she found herself laughing harder with this stranger than she ever had with people she had known to years. Each time the couple reached the bottom of the ferris wheel, Merle would ask the operator for another go round until Ruth lost count of how many times they had been round. They talked constantly, desperate to learn all they could about each other as soon as possible. When they finally got off the ferris wheel, Merle turned to her and asked if he could accompany her for the rest of the festival.

“I would love that,” Ruth responded, “but would you mind if my friend joined us? I’ve left her for so long already.” Merle laughed and nodded before leading her back to where Maria stood waiting.

“I thought maybe you’d gotten stuck,” her friend teased as soon as they were within earshot of where she stood leaning against a truck.

“Sorry about that, we went round a few times,” Ruth blushed. “Do you mind if Merle joins us for the rest of the day?”

“Of course not!” Maria cried. “The more the merrier!”

“I have a friend of mine who could join us, I’ll just go and get him.” Merle said before bounding over to a group of soldiers. Ruth didn’t have long enough to say anything to Maria but shot her friend a look that communicated exactly how she was feeling. Maria smirked at her and then introduced herself to Merle’s friend. The four of them spent the rest of the day together; they laughed like they had lived a thousand lifetimes together and they looked into each other’s eyes like their lives depended on it. When Ruth went home that night she was sure her life had changed forever. 

The next few weeks passed in a whirlwind of romantic walks and dinner dates as the two fell entirely in love. Over a month after they had met they were out for a walk and Merle was unusually quiet.

“Okay I can’t take it,” Ruth cried, taking Merle’s hands and stopping him in his tracks. “What’s the matter? You’ve hardly said a thing.” Merle took her face in his hands and kissed her, softly and gently. There was something sad about the way he kissed her, and Ruth repeated her question, “what’s wrong Merle?”. Ruth’s world shattered around her as Merle revealed that his regiment was being deployed to France and that he would be leaving Austria in the morning. Ruth cried as Merle begged her to try to forget it so they could enjoy their last day together, and Ruth did her best despite the ache in her chest. Throughout the rest of the day, they made countless promises to each other, including a promise to write to each other whenever they could. Before he left that night he took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. “This is not goodbye.” He told her, “I promise you I will come back for you, when this is all over.” Ruth couldn’t speak so she just nodded and wrapped her arms around Merle as he kissed her again. Ruth was sure her heart would break as this kiss truly felt like goodbye, and she stayed in the spot he had left her long after his silhouette had disappeared over the horizon.

For months afterwards, Ruth measured her life in letters and felt as though she was always waiting to hear from Merle. She had never felt this way about anyone and she lived for the day that her would return and whisk her away as he had promised. It grew harder as more time passed and it had been almost two months since Ruth had heard from Merle. She waited anxiously for the post to arrive every day, and each day her heart sank more as there was no letter addressed to her. The fighting was over in most parts of Europe and Ruth was sure that Merle would fulfil his promise and return for her, although this began to seem less and less likely. There was a fair in town in order to celebrate the end of the war and Maria had convinced her to go so that she could take her mind off of Merle and the letter she had yet to receive.

The girls walked around the fair and Ruth couldn’t help but feel happy; the positivity in the air was palpable and you could see the hope on the faces of everyone she saw.

“Shall we go for a ride on the ferris wheel,” Maria asked, with the biggest grin that Ruth had ever seen.

“No, it’s okay,” Ruth replied, and her heart ached as she looked over wistfully at her now-favourite ride. However, the ache was soon replaced by her heart stopping in her chest as she saw a figure at the base of the ferris wheel. There, in a shirt and tie and holding a bouquet of tulips, was Merle. Ruth’s feet seemed to move without her consent as she took off for Merle and as she reached him he picked her up in his arms and spun her around. He kissed her deeply before pulling away and looking in her eyes. “Sorry I haven’t been able to write for so long” he grinned. Ruth laughed, waves of shock still washing over her. Before she had known what was happening, Merle was down on one knee in front of the ferris wheel asking her to marry him. Ruth accepted with no hesitation and as they kissed Ruth’s heart swelled, just as she’d always imagined it would.

Ruth’s eyes opened as she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist from behind. “What are you thinking about, my love?” said a deep, rich voice in her ear.

“Actually,” Ruth laughed, “I was thinking about the day we met and the day you asked me to marry you.”

“Oh really?” he replied, “I hope you’re not having any regrets.”

The two of them stood and laughed as the sun set over the horizon. Ruth turned to face her husband, and as she looked into his eyes, she saw the same young soldier she had met all those years ago.

“Not a one.”