Blue Walls

`When I wake up, I feel myself gasping for air. My head is pounding. I’m pretty sure that you could hear my rapid heart rate on the other side of the world. But when I turn my head, he’s still sound asleep. Watching him sleep, my breathing slowly returns back to normal. I run my fingers through his thick brown hair. I move my hand from his hair to his cheek, admiring him with every touch.

He sleepily pulls my body against his and engulfs me in his arms. My face is pressed against his warm, bare chest and I can feel his strong arms wrapped around my waist. I leave a gentle kiss on his collarbone. I press my ear against him and listen to the slow, sleepy beats of his heart. I relax my body and take a deep breath. Without warning, I’m consumed by his scent. I smile. How I love his scent. Even after all these years, it’s just as intoxicating as the first time that I had the pleasure of experiencing his wonderful scent.

I close my eyes and begin to reminisce.

The air was dense, and thick gray clouds covered the sky. It was raining and around 60 degrees outside, which was strange weather for mid-July. I couldn’t think of a better word for the weather except gross. But the weather couldn’t be a more inaccurate representation of my feelings. I felt as if my blood was liquid sunshine. I was glowing.

I had been in a much better mood lately. The forecast was smiles and giggles for months prior, and today was no different. Of course, there was a reason for this. An act of God, well at least to me it seemed that way. Really, it was my best friend.

It’s safe to say that I had a crush on him. I knew it. I wasn’t hiding from myself or even my friends, but it seemed harmless. I wasn’t acting on it. Besides, I figured it was bound to go away at some point. But in the meantime, there was no harm in being his friend.

I had been seeing him all summer, and we had been texting all day every day for months on end. I had seen him yesterday. It had gone so well. I hadn’t suspected that there was any reason that seeing him today should be any less perfect than the day before.

I prepared the way I had always done before I saw him. He said to be there around 2:00 PM, so it was only sane that I started getting ready right when I woke up that morning.

I began by creating the perfect getting ready playlist. It was filled with love songs that reminded me of him. I sang and danced along to each tune while I proceeded to get ready.

My hair and makeup were strategically done; I needed to look presentable. I picked out my favorite jeans, but it was so chilly I decided to throw on a sweatshirt rather than freeze. Then came the most important part. I made sure to grab my glasses. I hated them, but I knew he liked them.

When the clock read 1:55 PM, I said goodbye to my mother and made my way over to his house. My stomach was churning with anticipation with each mile that passed. As I pulled down his street, my heart started beating so fast that I began to fear it would explode out of my chest.

Taking my phone out of my pocket, I sent him a message to let him know that I was outside. Within seconds, he was at the car and walking me inside like the gentleman that I knew him to be.

We sat right down on the couch like we had done each time before. He charmed me with his wits, asking me about my day before turning Netflix on the TV. He scanned over the “Continue Watching,” section to resume the show we were watching together, The Office, my favorite.

He looked at me for a second. “You ready?” he smiled. He was so cute.

“You know it,” I said slyly.

As we watched, I tried my best to concentrate, but I found myself completely distracted. I kept thinking of the body that was next to me. About how nervous I was to be sitting next to him. I felt myself drift into a sea of anxiety, yet utter calmness. As nervous as I was, his hand on my thigh brought me inner peace.

A few episodes in, I let out a big yawn. He turned his head, “Are you tired?” he asked.

“Just a bit,” I giggled. I was more than a bit tired. I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. I was too busy thinking about today.

“Me too,” he responded. Before I could say anything else, he added, “Do you want to go take a nap?”

I couldn’t reply. I so desperately wanted to say yes. But my mouth felt cemented shut. I took in a nervous breath, met his gaze, and nodded.

He led me upstairs to his room. There, I saw those infamous blue walls that I had seen on Snapchat millions of times before. He went to sit on the bed, but I immediately went for his hat rack in the corner.

“Oh, of course!” I laughed, motioning towards the football hat. “I’m taking it, it’s mine now,” I joked.

“Yeah, right,” he smiled, “like you’d ever wear that.”

“Maybe I’ll have to put it on,” I teased.

“Do it,” he challenged cheekily.

I thought for a moment. I decided to put it on. After all, I needed to prove him wrong. Because it was ridiculously too big for my head and because I looked silly in a football hat, we both laughed. I took it off, setting it down on his desk.

He laid down on his bed and gestured for me to join him. Should I be doing this? Probably not, but before I could talk myself out of it, I was lying next to him.

He propped himself up but was still laying down. He brought his face closer and closer to mine. When he stopped moving, our lips were centimeters apart.

“I like your glasses,” he said sincerely. As he talked, I could feel the movements of his lips on mine. My lips began to twitch. I wanted desperately to kiss him. I felt my face light up. I knew he liked them, but any compliment from him melted my heart.

My cheeks began to heat up. “Thank you,” I shyly replied, again feeling his lips on mine. We hadn’t even kissed, and I felt like I was on fire.

I pulled my face away and moved my body so that my face was by his chest. He hooked his arm over my body and pulled me close to him. I pressed my head to his chest and was enveloped in his scent. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. There weren't any words to describe the smell that had utterly consumed me. I had never smelled anything like this before, and once I had, it was the only scent that I wanted to experience.

In that moment, I felt myself fall in love not only with his scent, but with him. I knew that I would never be the same. No smell could ever compare. No man could ever compare.