Failed Memory

Failed Memory

I still remember her name, the one that I loved the most. Her warm smiles seemed to light up the sky, and her laughs filled my heart with joy. Selary Cinsha was her name, and just like her, it was beautiful. I first met her in high school, her tan skin and long silky black hair differed from everyone else. She was talking to her friends, chuckling and smiling. I found myself frozen in time, looking at her perfect blue eyes. Then, she looked at me and waved with a bright smile, and in that instant, I knew I was going to fall for her. And so, I did. For the time when I was in high school, I would constantly talk with her, and soon enough, we became close friends. For twenty years I stayed loyal to her, even after graduation, when we all split apart. My room was filled of drawings of her, and when my friends would come into my room, they’d be amazed.

On one fateful day, I was at the Little Flying Light, a café near my apartment. I had always enjoyed their coffee; it was never too bitter or too sweet. I sat outside, sipping my coffee and watching the birds fly by when my friend came down to sit next to me.

           “Good morning, Jorgen,” my friend greeted.

           “Hello, Fern,” I replied.

We struck up a small conversation about computers and gaming, something both of us enjoyed vividly. Throughout the hour, we were discussing all about the latest games and the best computer parts we could possibly get our hands on, but as I finished my coffee, it was time for us to leave. Fern had to go to work at his technician job while I had to go back and finish up my book draft in time for my deadline. The day was quite pleasant, and I enjoyed it. The wind flew by, hugging me before leaving. I arrived at my apartment complex and climbed up the stairs, reaching to my apartment room. After I headed in, I opened up my laptop and got to work.

While my novel was in the fantasy genre, I had also based the main character’s lover on the person that I had also loved: Selary Cinsha. Only within my world was it possible to create a world where Selary could fall in love with someone like me. I knew that, in real life, there would be no chance for me to ever be able to get a perfect human being like her to love me, but it didn’t mean I had given up hope. A year after we had graduated high school, I had no clue what to do with my life. I had only continued to see Selary and talk with her, but I couldn’t see her anymore. That was when I found out that I could create a world where Selary and I could always be together, a world where we could fight side by side, bringing down countries and ruling the world. Interestingly enough, I had finished the story in a year, and a publisher became interested in it. I gave my draft to an editor in that publishing company, and together we worked on refining the details and story as a whole. When my book was published, it had become a massive hit. I took it that the world enjoyed Jorgen being with Selary, and so I wrote more and more stories, each one getting more and more success. But I was never able to confess my love to Selary directly. Until later that day.

Ding dong…

Ah, it was the package I had ordered several days ago, the brand-new computer I had just bought. I got up from my seat, saving my novel and closing my laptop. As I opened my door, I saw a face I had grown familiar with. Her beautiful blue eyes and magnificent tan skin was still the same as it was ten years ago.

           “Delivery for Jorgen,” she said.

           “H-hold on, are you Selary?” I asked.

           “Hm? How do you know my name?” Selary replied, setting the giant box down.

           “It’s been ten years… come on in!” I ushered her.

           “But I have to go, I have several other deliveries I need to make,” Selary apologized.

           “Oh, then can we meet somewhere later?” I inquired.

           “I mean, sure, but what for?” Selary asked. “I don’t think I know you.”

           “Perfect! How about 6 pm at the Little Flying Light?” I suggested.

           “Alright fine,” Selary rolled her eyes.

I took her clipboard and signed my name on it. Selary fixed her ZonAma cap and walked away. Her silky hair followed her closely behind, a trail of perfume attached to it. I picked up the box and brought it inside. I carefully opened it up, and inside was a new shining black computer. I took it out and began to mess with it.

Before I knew it, it was already 5 pm. Messing around with my computer was fun but meeting up with Selary was far more important to me. I put everything back together and went to change into some different clothes. As I did, the image of Selary popped into my head. Her charming face was excellent, even though I was just imagining her. I finished changing into city clothe and ran out of my room and to the Little Flying Light, where Selary had agreed to meet up. To my absolute surprise, Selary was waiting at the entrance, looking at her watch and dressed in a white shirt and blue jeans. Once she saw me, she waved me over and sat down on a chair.

           “So, what did you call me for?” Selary asked. “I don’t even know you.”

           “Well, for starters…” I began.

I re-introduced myself to Selary, hoping she could remember me. We chatted for a long time, talking about what we had been doing for the last year or so. When I told Selary that I was the one who wrote A Little Hope, she was amazed.

           “So you’re the one who wrote that! I was wondering who knew me so well to include me in that story. But I thought your name was Jorgen,” Selary said in confusion.

           I chuckled. “Well, I do prefer to go by my pen name.”

We talked to each other even longer and ate some cookies. Eventually, I was able to muster the strength to confess why I had requested her to come here.

           “Selary, you asked why I brought you here earlier, right?” I asked.

           “Yeah, what about it?” she answered.

           “Well, the truth is, for the past ten years, I’ve been in love with you. That’s why all my stories have you as the main protagonist’s partner,” I explained.

           “Huh? You’ve known me before this meeting?” Selary asked in confusion.

           “You really don’t know? Come on, I was a close friend of yours back in high school,” I laughed.

           Selary’s face was suddenly tainted by a tear. “Oh, I see. That’s why I couldn’t remember.”

           “What do you mean?” I looked up; a bit worried.

           Selary lightly smiled, more tears streaming down her face. “I should’ve told you earlier. A year after my high school graduation, I got into a pretty bad crash.”

           “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” I replied.

           “But that wasn’t the worse part. After I was treated in the hospital, I was diagnosed with the worst thing I could possible imagine… Retrograde amnesia.”

The words struck me in the heart. Selary had amnesia? So that was why she couldn’t remember me? But that would mean. She forgot everything about me, Selary didn’t know anything about me anymore. I started crying. Everything I had worked so hard for was suddenly crumbled to dust, just like that. My stories were built on false hope, and now the foundation was gone.

           “Now now, Jorgen. I’m sure that high school me would’ve been happy to hear that you love me. I’m quite happy right now, although I don’t fully understand,” Selary said, patting my head.

Her soft touch slightly lightened my mood. But the sadness was still noticeable.

           “So, you really don’t remember anything about me?” I asked in hope.

           “Sorry, but I really don’t,” Selary apologized. “But in return, I’ll try to get to know you some more. How about it?

           I brightened up. “Really? Are you sure?”

           “Of course! If high school me was friends with you, then I’ll try to be friends with you as well, to make up for my lost childhood,” Selary laughed.

I agreed to her offer and we headed over to my place. Selary was amazed at all my drawings of her and noticed my laptop was still on. She sat down in my chair and began reading the story.

           “Jorgen, this is a neat story, but how about some more character development for me?” Selary asked.

           “What do you mean? She already has a lot of development,” I said.

           “I can help with that. How about… we make her lose her memory and she tries to make friends once more?” Selary offered.

And so, we began writing.