When it All Began

Are u coming out tonight? I stared at the phone as the cursor flashed while my Mom’s question ran through my mind,"When are you going to put yourself out there again?" Did I want to put on more makeup, straighten my frizzy hair and break this routine? Then the phone buzzed again "I need my sidekick"

Okay, okay I’ll go. I turned the TV off and made my way to the bathroom while looking for and the “night out play list” was perfect to get me in the party mood. Another text made me realize that I never let Jon know I was gonna meet him out. "Do I stay or do I go?"

"You stay. 

I’m getting ready now.

 Be there in 20" 

"20? I’ll come get you.

I can’t be here by myself for the next hour." 

"I said 20 not and hour"

"I know your “20” Coming to you now." 

It was difficult to be annoyed because, let’s face it the man had been out with me enough to actually know that my 20 minutes was more like an hour and it made me think; if this man wasn’t such a great friend, maybe we could actually create a happy life together. I knew on some level he wanted that but he was too much like a brother for me to see him as a partner. 

As I was applying mascara, Jon walked into the room as he often did. I loved that we had become close enough that he felt that comfortable. I could feel him smiling as he chuckled “it literally took me 20 minutes to get here” 

“I know, I know give me 15. I’m basically ready” 

“See, an hour” he said smirking. 

“You can’t rush perfection” I chimed, in my failed attempt to be humorous. “Perfection already exists, you are currently covering it up” as he then turned up his beer and winked. 

It was moments like that, I was a bit uncomfortable but loved that I had a friend who felt that way. I never knew how to respond and usually turned to comedy. “At least some poor guy won’t be scared when the covering comes off” I winked back just for effect but being my awkward self, it made Jon laugh. 

The club was tightly packed and we wouldn’t have it any other way. We danced, went to the bar, went outside, sang a little karaoke and then danced some more. The last time we stepped out to dance one of Jon’s friends made it clear he was attracted to me. “Sam, Kirsten - Kirsten, Sam” Jon said with a sly smile. 

After a few drinks, my timid demeanor often slipped away and I could be assertive. I finally started the conversation; “Hi Sam. Do you dance?” Sam was tall. He had dark hair, dark mysterious eyes, and a smile that made my heart stop. But what really dragged me in was his accent when he shared “I dance better when I drink” as he grabbed my hand and led me to the bar “what are you drinking?” I found myself staring at him when he asked again “I’m sorry, it’s hard to hear in here” he clearly knew I was taken by him when he turned around to order “two Vodka Cranberry’s please” the bartender nodded and took his card. Sam then looked at me without breaking his stare and said to the bartender “keep it open” I had forgot where I was, who I was with and what I was drinking. 

I went back to the dance floor with Sam and he clearly didn't dance that well but it was sweet that he was out there trying. I caught a glimpse of Jon who gestured to come over. I politely excused self from a gracefully accepting Sam and walked over to Jon “What do you know about this dude?” Jon looked concerned and said “He’s the one you met at my birthday. He just got out of a relationship but he's more Andy’s friend, that's all I know” 

“Huh” Jon took my arm and we walked out side “I know that huh. I need you to be careful” 

“Oh Jon. I can take care of me.” 

“I know you can but I’m not sure I like this guy” 

“Well, don’t date him then” I shot back trying not to laugh. Jon finally smiled but was clearly concerned, he also knew he couldn’t talk me out of something once my mind was made up and boy was it made up. “Just promise me you will be careful. I don’t want anyone hurting you” 

“Always looking out for me”

I then grabbed Jon’s arm and we walked back in and I saw Sam holding my drink. It made me smile and I wondered how long he had been standing there. 

Sam had this sly grin as he handed me my drink. I jokingly asked “what's the look for? Did you put something in my drink?” He laughed and shrugged as he said “Maybe” Jon’s words were making me feel paranoid. I then took a gulp without breaking eye contact. Sam looked surprised and a genuine smiled slipped across his face “daring, I like it. And no, I wouldn’t put anything in a girls drink”

We continued to dance the night away while making frequent trips to the bar and then the balcony. The conversations were great and hard to remember as the night slipped into early morning. As the final lights came on and the announcement to kindly exit the vicinity started, Jon made the decision for me that he was taking me back to my place. I started to argue but then realize I had put my friend through enough tonight. We made our way to the car when Jon said something I couldn’t believe “you two actually make a cute couple”. The look on my face showed my surprise and Jon reacted with an eye roll and a weary “Just get in the car”.

The ride home was quiet with the radio in the background when I finally broke the silence “what is it about Sam that you don’t like?” Jon smiled “And there it is. It’s not that I don’t like him…” “then why do you want me to be careful?” Jon looked at me and as he pulled into a parking spot in front of my building he turned to say “You’re like my baby sister and it’s just a feeling, I Don’t know… I just want your to use your head on this one, okay?” He really was concerned but played it so cool “Okay” 

Jon walked me to the door when his phone chirped. He smiled and showed me the screen

Bring your friend and come eat with us bro. 

Jon asked if I wanted to go. I wasn't feeling quite up for food but had some beers left in the fridge. “Tell them to come hang out here for awhile.” 

Jon picked up a beer “Liquor before beer” he popped the top off for me “You’re in the clear”.

About ten minutes later a knock on he door surprised me and Jon chimed in “well that was fast” Jon opened the door for me and it was my classmate who lived across the way asking if I had any beer left. 

Mark was a ladies man and when the local store was closed, he counted on his friends to help him out. “Yes but not for you” I half joked. Mark looked desperate and that tugged at Jon’s heart strings “Tell your new friend to come hang out with us” Mark’s face suddenly lightened up as he turned around to go tell his new poor girl to come over to his friends house. He yelled back over his shoulder as he skipped off “Great plan pal”.

 Jon shut the door and asked “Do I need to make a beer run?” This was turning into more of a party and I was already wanting it to be over “Maybe but stay here till everyone gets here?” Jon smiled and as down as if he already knew how I was feeling. 

As everyone showed up the night slowly slipped away with music, playing cards and finally everyone crashing on my living room floor. As I turned the lights down Sam followed me as I walked towards the hallway “Where do you think you’re going?” I asked as Sam came to a halt. “Oh come on. We don’t have to do anything but don’t make me sleep out here with everyone else… I mean Jon even has the couch…” I looked at him and for a brief moment thought about saying no but found my self saying okay. “Fine, but don’t get any ideas Mr.” Sam smiled “I’ll keep my hands to myself” As I walked in and grabbed my pajamas I turned to make my way to the bathroom when Sam grabbed my waist and kissed me like he was saying goodbye to the love of his life. After a few seconds and pulled away “that was intense” was all I could muster up. “I’ll be right back” I closed the door and realized I could be making a huge mistake but was too intoxicated to care. I opened he door and he was standing right there. “My turn” he said smiling. He closed the door behind him and i quickly walked over to the bed and created a pillow wall with and extra blanket. Sam opened the door and as he walked over to the bed he started to laugh “I promise, I will keep my hands on this side” as he pointed to the side I had the extra blanket. He laid down and turned away from me. As I laid down I stayed awake long enough to hear a gentle snore. He did keep his promise. He really must have just wanted the bed I thought as I drifted off. 

As the sun began to peer into the window, Jon cracked the door to let me know he was leaving. I walked toward the door when he looked and saw the pillow wall he laughed and put his arm around my neck “good girl”

“Bye Jon. Thanks for being my body guard again” he waved as he walked out the door.

The rest of everyone was waking up and making their way to the door as Sam’s ride asked where he was I pointed to the bedroom his friend smiled. I thought about explaining that nothing happened but I heard the laughter as he walked in “Not so lucky a bro?” I leaned my ear towards the hall when I heard Sam explain “She’s not that kind of girl”. It made me smile, I began to walk towards the room to explain I had nothing for breakfast when Sam walked out to share that his friend had to rush off to work. “I had fun last night” Sam smiled and kissed my cheek “me too, do you think I could take you out sometime this week?” Was I actually starting something with this man? “I mean you have already seen me in my PJ’s” “Great! I’ll call you after you text me your number” He handed me a paper with his number on it. “Old School, I like that” He smiled as he was walking out “I thought you might. Text me all the time, okay?” I really liked him and it probably showed with my “Okay” and just like that, he was out. I stood there thinking of all the what if’s. I felt thankful that I was talked into going out but a part of me felt like I could be putting myself in danger but then again, since I overthink everything, maybe this was completely normal. I mean it had been nine years since I had been in the world of dating. 

The following morning when my alarm clock went off I picked up I my phone and saw a social media alert, I had a request from Sam. That was a little odd and without opening it decided to text him. 

"Good morning, this is Kirsten" 

 I waited for a reply and after staring at the screen for a couple of minutes decided to began getting ready for work. I was just ten minutes from walking to my car when I heard the ding I had been waiting for. 

Good morning beautiful.

 I started to think I would never hear from you. 

Just thought I would give you a minute to catch your breath. Sat night was a little intense. 

I was always awkward while texting and almost instantly regretted sending it but it was the truth and he was moving a little fast. 

So you noticed that you took my breath away? 

I should probably work on that!

Oh he was good! I had a feeling that I was falling for a ladies man but in that moment I didn’t care. He was fascinating and charming and he was into me. 

I held the phone staring at the flashing bar and began several sentences, deleting and retyping. 

So, I left you breathless huh?

The texts went on for longer than I realized when I was interrupted by a call from work. The voice on the other end sounded concerned as I was never late. I explained that I overslept and lost track of time. I shoved my phone in my purse and headed for the door. It must have went off five times as I walked to my car. I wanted to play it cool though, I wasn’t going to text him till I made it to work but as I drove my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing. When I finally parked I peaked at my phone. Thirteen unread texts? Goodness! I didn't have time to read them so I quickly replied 

I'm late for work.

Text ya on break. 

My phone continued to go off who is that persistent? I mean this guy is giving me a run for my money. As I stuffed my purse into the locker I decided to slip my phone inside as well. 

The day seemed to slip away as women of all ages came in to shop at the little boutique. As the sun set I realized I hadn’t taken a break and suddenly felt panicked as I remembered my now broken promise to Sam. I made my way to my locker to gather my purse and decided to not look at my phone until I was home. I started toward the door when my co-worker nudged my arm with an “okay girl, I see you” I looked up to see Sam standing by my car with a single rose. My heart fell but I was intrigued. “I don’t remember telling him where I worked” Maggie smiled, “sweetheart, you tell everyone. Do you know how many people a week tell me that you sent them in here?” I must have told him while we were out. Maggie saw the panic on my face “Kirsten! This is a sweet gesture, go get that rose” I smiled and headed out the door, Maggie was right, this was sweet!

“Hello…” I didn’t have any other words to say. Sam smiled and held out the rose “I was hoping my texts didn’t scare you off” I looked up and he looked genuinely apologetic “Honestly Sam, we have been so busy today, I haven’t even had time to look at my phone but planned on texting you back when I got home” Sam looked relieved “Well, can I ask a huge favor?” The look on his face was priceless and I felt a little bad for him, I’ve actually been there and decided to throw him a lifeline and without him even having to ask I reached for my phone, unlocked it and handed it to him. “I'm going to guess you want to see this before I do?” Sam reached for it and I teasingly pulled it back which caused him to drop his head. I couldn’t help but to laugh as I placed the phone in his hand. “I’ve actually been there and I’m hoping this brings good Karma back around” Sam took the phone and immediately went to his texts. “You have got to be the coolest girl in town” and he handed the phone back. “Since You’re here. Sam, how did you know where I worked?” He smiled and simply replied “You told me while we were dancing. In fact, you told me this was one of your fantasies” I felt the heart starting to beat in my face. “I am failing through and through.” “NO! Sam you’re not. I'm just not use to dating again. I was in my last relationship for eight years, he was a jealous man so when I heard the phone going off, that's where my mind went. I wanted to look and answer but I didn't feel like I had time to go into details about what I was doing” 

Sam took my hands and kissed each one

“Kirsten, not all of us men are alike. I'm not the jealous type. I wish you could see the texts now.” 

“Thank you Sam. The rose, you coming here, thanks” 

“May I ask you a question?” 

I didn't answer but focused my eyes on his strong jawline

“Will you go on an official date with me?” 

The smile that I was now wearing was there without control and I could only nod my head. 

As my night ended I wondered if he was the one or if I was falling for someone that I would eventually wish I would have ran from.