TRACEE AND BOB AND THE NON-ARGUMENT

Tracee knew. something was wrong with the way things were going between her and Bob, her new husband of less than two weeks. He definitely was NOT the same happy go lucky, funny sweet spirited guy she met that night at her sister’s wedding reception in August a year and a half ago. His looks still appealed to her, but his spirit seemed darker. He was often withdrawn, moody, and sometime brooding. She dealt with it, but what was challenging was that Bob seemed to have four or 5 sides to him and invariably she never knew which one she was going to see.

As the courtship and marriage ensued, they argued more and more and these arguments seemed to come out of no where, his responses during times of discord were often infantile and petulant in most cases. And she noticed that of late, he rarely made eye contact with her, Yep, the extended honeymoon she had anticipated was evaporating into a mist of thin air.

This particular incident occurred when they got home from Toronto, their honeymoon trip. The next morning after they got back, they left out to return the late model ford they had rented for the drive to Canada. Once back home, she dropped him off at the house and drove on to the grocery store.

“I’m running to pick a few items from Giant Eagle, she said as he got out.” She felt a since of ease because he was still in a good mood as he responded, “Cool, I’ll go in and get ready to make us some lunch.” She sped off.

Once back she pulled into their driveway, she stopped the car and as she reached over to pick up something off the floor of the passenger side of the red Chevy Cavalier she observed there was some papers underneath the seat, she pulled on them, and out came a bunch of more crumbled up papers. She went straight into shock trauma, when she realizes the papers were actually envelopes—they were wedding envelopes, cards ripped out, money gone!!!  

She grabbed them all and pulling them all out from where they had been shoved underneath the seat. Before she was done, she found at least 7 - 8 wedding cards.

She felt her stomach lurch, and her heart began to race. “What happened here”, she asked herself. But she knew the answer, it was Bob.  At some point during the reception, he had clearly, removed the wedding cards and the money that were in these. Again she said to herself; “Did he steal the wedding money?” “Where was I while this was going on?”

Devastated and hands shaking as she felt her stomach move again. And as she sat in the car in front of her house, it felt that the hood of the car and the doors were coming in around her. She felt her breath coming short and she had to go in and face him. 

The sad part was that this was NOT a total surprise — on one hand it was; because who would fuck’n steal wedding envelopes from their own wedding? But on the other hand, there had been signs of bizarre behavior from him for some time now; which she allowed excuses to prevail, BUT THIS? She knew she would have to deal with this. What was going to happen? would it be an overblown argument like everything was with him? Would he use manipulative language to stop the conversation? Like “If you loved me really you’d….”  Or if you had any respect for me you’d .. ..” He’d be caught by surprise, so how would he respond. There was no telling. What she knew for sure honestly, was that she was not up to the blow out this could cause.

The reason was because it might evoke the need for some immediate action on her part. She knew that this could very well be that argument that would lead to the end. The past behavior notwithstanding, this could be that straw that caused the camel’s knees to crumble. The questions before her were clear, would this be enough to end a marriage that just got started? Should she ask him, her husband for under two weeks to leave whom she had caught in lies, who often acted like a sullen little kid, many times seeming to start fights so he could stop off In the night and come back late, to leave? In her head she knew that she just wasn’t there yet.

In that instant an idea came to her. She opened the car door, got out of the vehicle and entered into the house.  She carried in two grocery bags, and in Bob’s own ‘gentlemanly style he rushed to the door to help. He was not tall, but he was very sturdily built. With broad shoulders, neat waistline, nice hands, there was nothing thin about him, but nothing fat either. “Hey let me get those baby doll”. Using his pet term for her, as he grabbed the two bags from her arms.

“Hey let me get those baby doll”. He said as he grabbed the two bags from her arms.  

She settled in the kitchen quietly as they put the items away together. As usual when things were good, he fried chicken wings for their lunch and she made salad and they had a meal and a glass of wine together.

Tracee gently brought up how good it was to be back from Canada. He agreed. She ventured that the wedding was such a whirlwind of activity, that she hardly remembered any fine details, and asked him if he remembered any. His response, classic charming Bob; “I remember that I married the most beautiful, most sexy woman in the world. “Hmm,” “any wonder,” you were completely intoxicated. He looked at her with a kind of hurt look.  “What do you mean?”  

“Oh just that, you were pretty intoxicated—can’t see how is it you remember anything.”  

He stared at her with an uneasy look, she just looked at him with a nonchalant look.  She then said, “Okay if you can recall, what was the highlight of the reception??? What do you remember in particular.?’  He begin to fidget. Their Kitchen was large and bright yellow and they sat over by the window in a little nook, having their wine.  The Texture of the conversation created a dull pallor over the otherwise bright room.  

She continued to consider her words carefully as she wanted to bring this up without bringing it up.  He got up suddenly and went to the sink to wash his hands. She was very familiar with this move on his part—he’d abruptly jump up from a conversation whenever he was beginning to get either nervous, agitated, or the discussion was getting to close to home.

She continued, Do you know how much money we spent in Canada??  

‘No, I didn’t keep up?”

Do you recall what the final count of our wedding money was?  I know we sat here and counted it together, but I’m not clear in my memory of what the amount was?

“No, I don’t.”

“Hmm, I guess you are just not the money person here, right?” It seems that as the man, you would have been keeping up with our money while we were on our honeymoon.”

He slams back into the chair and says “well, my vibe is shot now, that’s for sure”. What the hell are you taking about anyway???  Why are we having this conversation.?  

Tracee was getting really pressed now about the stolen envelopes — the wedding money — the money she was more entitled to because she put up the almost $4,000 to have what she felt a beautiful wedding of a woman in her 50’s should be. He hadn’t really contributed much to their life since they met a year and a half ago. She accepts responsibility for allowing things to fly so fast—almost straight from meeting each other in August of 1995, to the wedding vows in July of 1996.  But she never expected things to begin leaving a sour taste in her mouth this soon.  She never expected to feel “finished” this quickly!”  

Bob, I’m Just saying that as the man in this relationship I can’t see why you are not more up on the handling of the money. Now you don’t know how much we spent in Canada, and you don’t recall how much money we got for our wedding.  “As a matter of fact”; at this point Tracee rose up and began walking around the room, “I am wondering why certain people did not give us any wedding card and or gift or money—like my mom’s best friend, Ms. Thomas—we sat there going through the cards and counting money and I never saw a card from her, and I know she brought one into the reception—she asked me where was the box for cards!”  At this point, Bob exploded. 

 ‘Why are you saying all this to me?  I do the best I can. I know I took the money from your wrong account by accident that time; but that’s because I wasn’t aware. I don’t know why some people didn’t send cards or money, after all we got almost $1,000.00.”

“Bob, I thought you didn’t remember?”  He stops his ranting and stands and stares at her, and yells out “you know what? fuck this, I’m done!.”

He then storms upstairs to bedroom, he was so mad he was shaking. He grabbed up his hat and bolts out into the evening.

Tracee successfully managed to not mention what she found under the car seat. Yet the argument that just occurred ensued was all about them, he just never knew it. However, she did have the satisfaction of knowing that when he drove off in the car this evening, the stolen envelopes and cards were all over the front seat where she left them—He could not miss them.