Wandering Alone

2:36 pm. Chicago, IL. December 16, 1991

I’ve finally figured out the most important event for me, the day I was born. I believe that a someone’s birthday reveals who they are as a person. It’s not just their birthday, but it’s the city they were born in and the exact time they were born on this Earth. The universe has many ways to guide us; there are moon charts, tarot readings, oracle cards, and so much more. But for me, I listen to the universe through my horoscope. My main sign, how I portray myself to others, is a Sagittarius. But my moon, my deepest self, is dedicated Aries. My Zodiac chart tells me I am both ethical and curious, with a flare of independence. My moon says that I am scared of failure. My ascendant tells me that I’m quite stubborn too.

Today, like any other morning, I wake to my horoscope to help me guide my day. Yet, today is not like any other day. Today is my birthday. Another year around the sun has passed for me. But it seems like my life is the same as last year. I was supposed to find my true love, land my dream job. Well, I need to analyze my horoscope a bit better, maybe I misinterpreted what was told to me. Maybe this year I’ll meet him, my true love. I wonder where we’ll meet. I hope he has a good job. But what if he doesn’t. That shouldn’t matter, since we’ll be in love. 

Wait, I’m getting beyond myself again. Calm down. Breath in. Out. In. Out. 

The chiming from my alarm breaks my breathing concentration. The light from my phone shines a bright white 6:32 am. Horoscope for December 16, 2019, Happy Birthday Sagittarius. Time to read my morning guide. Thank you, Chicago Sun Times, for my first Happy Birthday of day and always for the helpful push. How can I shape my day for the future?

You are empowered because both 

the Sun and Mercury are in your sign. 

The moon is traveling through the 

part of your chart that is your “home.” 

This is why you want to travel or 

do something different. 

You want some thrills and chills!

A few sentences can speak so much. Every day, I these messages reveal another part of myself I have overlooked. It’s no wonder I feel lost. I am constantly focusing on things that don’t matter. The universe wants me to experience life! I have to get out there, make my own adventure! Live a thrilling journey across the world. 

“What do I do first?” I ask the question out loud. A fog travels over my mind as I try to imagine the next step. “Coffee.” I whisper with a smile. Coffee, of course. This new experience has to begin with a burst of energy, which only coffee gives me. 

I walk a few steps from my room to the kitchen. I set my phone down on the counter, as I begin to prepare my morning brew. Turning on my electric kettle I face my many bags of coffee. 

Today is a day for adventure and new ideas. Hesitantly, I reach for an unopened bag of Cold Blue House. A large bag gifted to me by a friend that travelled to England. It was my only foreign coffee bag. Its flavor was something different I did not enjoy. Yet, my horoscope wants me to do different things today. 

I can’t defy what the universe wants for me. What would happen if I didn’t do this? Would karma strike back at me, causing me to tumble down the stairs? Would a swarm of bees chase me through the streets of downtown? Or would something else so awful I can’t imagine happen to me? I have to do this. No matter how much I dislike this, the universe has plans for me. And I am no one to defy the power of the universe.

Pushing past my distaste of the coffee, I prepare the drink in a tie-dyed mug, the least favorite of all my dishes. Unlike my usual morning brew, I drink this without cream or sugar. Something different. Quickly, I gulp down the bitter drink. Trying not to gag, I fumble with the kitchen faucet, guzzling down cold water, hoping to mask the coffee flavor. 

Now, that’s done. What next? My phone rings with a notification. I hope the universe has better plans for me than that bitter coffee. Scrolling through my phone, I notice an interesting event at a local café. A crafting workshop. I’ve always wanted to do crafting. 

Taking this as a sign, I happily register for the class. As I review the workshop info, I grimly notice it begins 5 hours from now. What should I do in the meantime? I resignedly move my gaze from my phone to my small apartment window. Large, fluffy, white clouds float slowly by in the distant sky. Pockets of bright blue randomly appear through the openings of the clouds. I glance down, absorbing the sight of the many people wearing jean jackets and scarves; rather than the heavy coats typical for the Chicago winter. With a grin, I imagine the warm sun rays on my skin, and the fresh air breezing through my hair. 

The image fades as I slip on my favorite pale pink hoodie with my aged tan boots. Exiting my front door, I inhale a deep breath, tasting the fresh air; thanks to the nearby Great Lakes. I wander through the almost empty sidewalks. Not questioning where my legs take me, only enjoying what I walk past. The sun starts to set as a cold breeze sweeps through my hoodie, snatching me from my dazed walk back into reality.

Oh no. How long have I been walking? Reluctantly, I check the time on my phone. 6:32 pm. How could I have lost track of time for over six hours? The workshop is long over. This! This is why I’m alone. The universe tells me exactly what to do and I do the opposite. I always get distracted. I glumly turnaround to begin trek home. Before I could take two steps, I walk into someone in a long, dark coat. I look up to see…