This Is How Cuz Stepped Into The Sunlight

This Is How Cuz Stepped Into The Sunlight

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a red-head named Cuz. Having survived a really tragic traumatic brain injury or t. b. i., he had to face many problems in life which no person in the history of the universe had ever had to put up with. On the other hand, a lot of talents had been discovered since that tragic day which changed a life from happy to totally frustrating and miserable. Yet having an occasional nice thing happen every now and then gave him a purpose in life. Yet mostly life was really boring or sad. The rest was spent in Church or at Planet Fitness. Actually, the latter was an appropriate place for such a, "space-case." When God handed out brains, he figured He said, "Trains" and missed his. Other people were convinced he figured He said, "Rains" and ran for cover. Regardless, if life was a game, he was losing it.

Then one day while walking running to the car in a bad thunderstorm for a doctor's appointment, he was struck by lightening. The person who drove him places knew he was dead. Yet when he picked up the body with sparks still flying off of it, he felt something odd, it was a faint heartbeat. After being rushed to the hospital and finding no pulse, they were declared him dead, but then a helper named Brother Dave, a Pentecostal Pastor, laid hands on Cuz and prayed with some Christian nurses. That brought Cuz back to life. The stories he had about seeing the Bright Light were awesome. Since he already had an amazing brain, the lightening cured him of all hes informatties.

As sh stepped into the sunlight, he was blinded by the sun, but then his sight was restored by the main, "Son" of God. That elliminated every problem caused by the t. b. i..

Then problems began. They started with being able to gt a batcheler's degree in creative writing. That opened the doors to find a literary agent to found the best publishers who fought each other, trying to have the best payment, but then Satin arrived on the scene. He caused some thief to intercept the stories before they made it to the literary agent who'd find the best publisher. After submitting several of the best stories, they wrote back saying, "These stories have already been published, you thief! Do it again and you'll be sent to jail!" when several people who'd read them knew they were original. Yet after the third time, all 4 publishers sent sumubses for fraudulent writings. That meant it was their words against Cuz's, and their was no proof of either author steeling anybody's work. He had to hire a lawyer and went to court. That's where Beyelsibub worked on the jury and made them all say, "Guilty." Cuz was sent to jail. The celmates, who were both convicted murderers, beet Cuz up because he didn't look tough. When the warden heard it the came, but by the time they had found the key to open the cell, he was already lying in the floor in a puddle of blood, dead like unto a doorknob.

As they prepared the great poet-author for creamasion, 2 d. s. ps. named David and Franklin, not convfinsed God was done with the body. They laid hands on it, praying in the Spirit in agreement, they were all believing that the great Life-Giver would do His stuff, but nothing happened. They figured the Lord wanted him more then they did. It was hard to rejoice that another soul had entered into the land of Glory, even though they knew God had a reason for most of the things that happen in the world. Still, as they put the body into the crematory, a voice from inside yelled, "Wow! Barbecue! That smells good! Why wasn't I invited to it?" but when he felt flames licking up on his feet, he said, "Good grief! That's why! The reason is I'm the barbecue!" and commenced to yelling, "Ow! Ooh! Ooh! That's hot! It's a good thing my name is written in The Lamb's Book Of Life! Ow! Ooh! Because I hate being hot! Ow! Ooh! Ooh! That smarts! Ow! Somebody pour some water on this thing! Ow! Ooh! I know that I've got good taste in everything, Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Hay! Now, that doesn't mean I tasted good! Ow! Ooh! This is not good!"

One of the men who were lowering the body into the flames saw what was going on and stopped the process instantly. then they untied the so-called, "dead" body. After they had removed Cuz from the creamitory and received lots of hugs from the potential burnee, although they were the burners, Pastor David, who had been saying the yooligy, laughed. When all the people who were there saw him laughing, they laughed as well. Old King Solemen knew what he was talking about when he said, "Laughter is the best medicine." That's why Cuz had always refured to him as, "a wise guy." The rest of the onlookers who saw the miracle were crying again, only that time it was with tears of joy. The band who was there playing somber music, changed and played upbeat songs so the people who were there would dance to the music. Something else that was a miracle was all the people who had come to see the cremation that were using canes, walkers or in wheelchairs, some for the first time in their lives, were actually dancing like David did for Jesus. That was the way he praised Him, and speaking of David, even the guy who had been giving the eulogy, Pastor David, was also dancing. He'd never danced in his life, but the Spirit was making him do that. Because of all the dancing that had been going on, everybody who was there that had a weight problem lost at least 4 pounds during that time. The Lord was using Cuz's life to bless those people's lives as well.

Since Cuz was already a walking-Bible, since he'd hard the Good Book read completely 5 times and memorized all the Scriptures that were his favorites, he soon took over Brother David's place as being the head Pastor because he was so good at, "pasting," since that's the thing Pastors do.

Upon taking over as the Church's leader, the Church was so packed with every service they had to add on another whole Church building to accommodate all the members, and so. Eventually Cuz was swamped with girls who wanted to date him. Then the Lord told told him which one was the best. He was also labeled as, "The Goat Pastor Of Danville," (which means, "the Greatest Of All Time)." At any rate, since Cuz had been healed by the Lord's majestic healing powers, life was rosy, since that was his favorite flower's scent, and it's what God had done, meaning, "rose" from the dead. He met somebody in Church who was also an author, (because she was so good at, "authing." They were soon married and had some children. At any rate, as the best-written stories of all-time will officially finish with, "THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!"

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The end. By, Cuz Roye.