The Fairy Kingdom

Tuesday, September 17 

As a child, everyone has read tales about fairy kingdoms and secret villages. Of course, they are just tales to get young children to bed, arent they? 

My mother used to tell me about secret portals that can appear with a spell, portals that will take you to the fairy kingdom. She would always tell me about how I could go there and take back what was lost. I guess she took those stories a little too literal because they found her screaming at a tree to let her in. She was later admitted to a mental hospital, where she was diagnosed with schizophrenia. An attempt to treat her failed resulting in her death. Ever since I’ve hated fairy tales. And hospitals.

My dad and I moved where we live today. A log cabin in the middle of the woods next to a mountain, ideal for fairy tales ironically. 

   “Charlie, breakfast!” dad yells from the steps.

I finish brushing my hair and leap down the stairs to the kitchen. 

“Hey, I’ve got to go to work all day today so please stay inside. I don’t want you getting bit by a snake or something. And do not go in the attic.”

    “Okay, when you gonna be back,” I ask

         “ Around 4” 

Nice, 5 hours to go through the attic. I’m not sure why he never wants me going in there. It’s really only a bunch of moms things and old clothes.

“Bye, love you pumpkin!” he says through a mouthful of pancake.

“See ya”

My dad works on a.c units for a living, so in Tennessee in the middle of summer, he gets some business. I walk to my room and pick it up. everything has its particular spot. My stuffed frog goes on the shelf, my brush in the cup, water on my nightstand. OCD os a symptom of mental diseases. I’ve had voices in my head ever since I was a little girl. Another sign of mental illness. I also see little fairies every now and then. Hallucinations, another sign of mental illnesses.

I’ve accepted the fact that I probably have a mental illness, as long as I keep it hidden it doesn’t matter. I won’t go to a mental facility, not like mom. So I need to go through her things to find out where she went wrong. When she really lost it. A diary would be ideal.

The attic entrance is in my closet, a big hole with a latter. I put my hair up in a ponytail and get my boots on.

The attic is really musty. Pink installation lays everywhere, and water stains dot the ceiling. Boxes are scattered about, full of the unknown. I go to a box labeled “Brittany’s” and open it.

In it is a bunch of scarves and sweaters, nothing very personal. The second is just shoes. But the third box has odd markings all over it. When I open it up I see a mushroom, notebook, sprite figurine, and a hat. I mess around with the mushroom and sprite. To think that these used to belong to a crazy person. Not just any crazy person, your mother. A voice in my head scolds me. I look at the hat. It’s like the Peter Pan hat, only, instead of a feather, there is a poppy flower.  I put it on and am surprised it fits perfectly. 

I go through the diary and read an entry.

                               March, 9th 1997

Dear diary,

    I think I’ve really lost it. The voices in my head keep telling me to find the portal, and to go through stolen memories, so I went through mothers things.  I found a letter with odd inscriptions on it, this is what it said.

If you really want to go,

And leave it all behind,

Well, then you must know,

Or others will soon decide         

LAMIEA

LARVAE

LEMURES,

PASSIM PASSIM        

That is interesting. I never thought my mother was into witchcraft. I want to know what she did. I wonder

“ LAMIEA

LARVAE

LEMURES,

PASSIM PASSIM!”

          I say. I didn’t expect it to work but now I feel kinda silly. But then, I hear a noise. Turning around I see a huge tunnel in our wall leading to.. forrest?   A sign next to it says place mushrooms here. Fumbling and shocked, I get the mushroom and set it down. As soon as I do I get sucked into the tunnel.

I wake up in a tree. There is a lady with wings next to me. She is green. 

“Oh goodness, I have really lost it now.” I sigh.

“ Lost what?”

“My mind,” I state.

“WELL WELCOME TO THE FAIRY KINGDOM LOST ONE” The fairy shouts in my ear. 

“Thanking you for setting Shewa free master, Is there  anything I could do?” Oh, I see, this was the little sprite figurine.

“ I can’t believe the kingdom is real!” Mother wasn’t crazy, no one would believe her. I have to prove them wrong.

“Listen, Shewa you said? I need to get back home. Do you know how I could get there by any chance?” 

“Through the portal under the trees.”

I put the little fairy in my pocket and go to the trees she was talking about. I’ll need proof to convince my dad that this is real.

               Wednesday, September 18th         

I miss my little girl. The one who did have a great imagination, but not a disease. They want to treat you, but there is little chance you will survive. You have been in the asylum for 7 years, and I think I’m finally ready to let you go. Even as you sit here staring into space, smiling and babbling, I know you aren’t you.   But the doctors are going to try to help you. 

If I had known schizophrenia was hereditary, we never would’ve cursed you with this life.           

The doctors said you’ve created your own world within your mind. That’s my girl. You won’t feel a thing or notice a difference. I’m ready to let go, and I hope you are too. My beautiful Charlie, pumpkin.

Love, 

        Dad