Nobody's Memories (Conquest of Noone)

I am Nobody Hammer, I am the Imperial Sword, the former leader of the trolls, and one of the few people to strike fear into Emperor Noone. I have the ability to remember every detail about my life. I won't write down everything; most of it is too boring, but I'll highlight some key points.

To start, I wasn't born with the name Nobody. My real name is Nilk Hammer. I was the son of a former head of the House of Hammers. I grew up with some understanding of politics, but most of the time it just went over my head. When my father learned I could recount conversations word for word, detail by detail, he had me sit beside him and just listen. He told me to look at people "with a face that looked half dead, half alive. To look at them as if I could cast a spell without moving a muscle." I remember the first time I was in the throne with my father, and a rich nobleman, Shiv Bronzestem, a half-elf, goblin (not that his race or name matters, but still.) came to him begging for cheaper taxes on his goods. He argued that he would not be able to sell his goods at an affordable price due to the high taxes. He then began talking about boring economic stuff I don't care to talk about (again trying to skip the boring stuff. Also, I was a child who was bored out of his mind). Anyways. I stared at him, and as I did, he stopped speaking and slowly turned to me and asked, "Has he been staring at me this whole time?" My father nodded. "I'm sorry, why is he here? Isn't this a bit above his age?" the noble asked. "Why do you care?" asked my father. "I-I...I just-just realized that this situation is complex and I don't want to you know-bore you're son." My father then signed, "Don't think you're performance is entertaining. You have issues you want fixed; they don't need to be entertaining. Also, if you ever bring up my son again...I'll raise the taxes higher." I had never seen a male shrink so far, so fast. He bowed his head and walked back.

That day, I learned that my father had to deal with weak idiots all day, every day. I didn't want to be another one, so from then on, I tried to be smarter, stronger, better.

Years later, I became the head of the House of Hammers. I heard of Noone and the prophecy surrounding him. He came to my castle, challenged me to a duel, and after a long struggle, he beat me. Shortly after, the richest being in the Green Swamps: Nothing Knives also came to my castle. He and Noone started to talk to each other, and it took only a few seconds to realize I was utterly and completely lost. Now, I know some things about politics, economics, and negotiations, but uh, the way they were talking, the terms they were using. They were unknown to me. It was like they were super fluent in a language while I was still getting the basics down. They also happened to be way more informed on other countries and their dealings than I was, so they revealed even more new information to me. It felt like my mind had to run faster just to keep up and absorb everything. Eventually, they managed to talk about things I could understand, like the state of the country, my new position, and finalizing the details for uniting tribes once again.

Then, after all that, Noone made the boldest move I've ever seen him do up to that point: He would invade Kamo next. Again, I was completely lost. Kamo was the unconquerable country, with Kamo City being the Unconquerable City. How was Noone supposed to take over a place that many neighbors failed to do? Not to mention our country tried several times and failed. Every. Time. I didn't understand it at the time. I even tried to protest it, until Noone looked me dead in the eye and said, "Kamo needs to fall first, if it doesn't, then my destiny will not be fulfilled. The more time they have to prepare, the worse our chances are. Also, if Kamo falls, everyone goes on defense and panics; they'll be too focused to think of a counterattack. Now with that being said. The only way we can win is if we lay siege to the country. Which means we need to control all four bridges and roads that connect the country to its neighbors. That's the easy part; the hard part is preventing smugglers from going in and out. Luckily, the siege shouldn't last that long., which means rebuilding won't take that much time and resources, and we can begin to shift focus sooner. Any questions?" he asked. At first, I was perplexed that he thought this much ahead, then one question came to mind. "How long do you think this siege will last?" I asked. "At the shortest, a 2-year. At the longest 4. It'll be rough, but if we succeed. History changes forever," he answered as if he knew he was going to win, like he saw into the future. It was that day, in that room, that I started to trust him and believe.

The next day, we finished plans to untie the Green Swamps. Within the next couple of days, we succeeded, and the Nocee Empire was born. After that, plans for invading Kamo were next. Troops, maps, and supplies began to be funneled into one of the border towns. Of course, Kamo began to be suspicious of our activities, but we sent a letter explaining that we were just doing a celebration tour, which would then be followed up with a series of drills. However, that did little to stop them from sending spies and scouts. To further prove our point, Noone went to the Lukus City Ball.

After he came back, he was both tired and defeated. However, his desire to take Kamo burned brighter. I didn't ask why, I just knew he tried to pull a political stunt and it backfired, but as for his motives, I had no idea at that point. All I know is that he asked if we were ready. I said yes, since I memorized all orders, the troop layouts, the bridges, the rivers, and the towns. Meanwhile, Nothing was eager to burn Kamo to the ground. Little did we realise how unprepared we really were.