Our Halloween Adventure

It’s been years since Julia Mõttus and I got married and had even had a simple yet lovely Pagan wedding (complete with our handfasting ceremony, maypole dancing and all), complete with our honeymoon to Karlovy Vary in Czechia and now I quit my job as a teacher in Marina Middle School in favor of starting my bakery business with my wonderful wife together, but that’s a different story.

We decided to adopt a little girl, whom we decided to name Nephthys Karinna Mitchell, during which we settled down as a Rainbow family in the Sunset District of San Francisco, and now she was already in second grade and going to Sunset Elementary School. Anyhoo, today was Halloween and Nephthys decided to dress up as Gene Simmons from KISS.

“Hey, can we go trick-or-treating tonight?” Nephthys asked.

“Well, of course, dear,” I replied. “Julia, are you up for it?”

“Well, why not?” Julia replied in agreement.

Earlier today, while Nephthys was in school, we had to buy different Halloween candies while our employees had to sell different Halloween-themed baked goods to different customers. I was dressed as a witch while Julia was dressed as a fairy. Speaking of Nephthys again, well, we trusted her to go home from school by herself, but not before we taught her how to safely walk to school and back alone, but that was a different story.

Anyway, when we came home from work, we decided to take the spare Halloween-themed cookies with us, so we could snack on some after our trick-or-treating session. In preparation, we put the Halloween candies into a large bowl and put it on the chair in our lit doorsteps (and in my case, dressing my dachshund named Mario as a hot dog). Then that was when were were ready to go.

“Nephthys, are you ready, Freddy?” I called out.

“Yeah, I’m ready to go!” Nephthys chirped as she ran up to us in her Gene Simmons getup and with a ghost-themed bucket in tow; moments later, off we went.

We went from one house to another (with Nephthys yelling “Trick-or-treat!” each time). Then, all of a sudden, we ended up in front of Tamara Robb’s apartment and when I knocked on the door, that was when Tamara opened it, during which Fox News was blaring on her TV as usually.

“Trick-or-treat!” Nephthys yelled as she proudly held out her bucket with both hands.

“Look what we have here!” Tamara chirped. “Say, Roxie, is this your daughter?”

“Yeah, but we adopted her a few years ago,” I admitted.

“That’s nice, even though I don’t do gays,” Tamara stated. “Anyway, here’s some candy!”

As if on cue, she dumped a few Russian candies into Nephthys’s bucket.

“Thanks, lady!” Nephthys chimed.

“Happy Halloween!” Tamara called out as we walked off.

As soon as we left the apartment building, that was when Julia decided to say something.

“Ugh, I hate Fox News!” Julia complained.

“I hate it too!” I said in agreement.

“Mommy, Renny, what’s Fox News?” Nephthys asked.

“Easy,” I said. “Fox News is a racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic and Islamophobic right-wing propaganda machine. Both of my parents are completely brainwashed by that junk. I was, too, until we got evicted from San Ramon by Terry Lam and moved in with my grandparents...and that was when I slowly started to think for myself.”

“Ewww!” Nephthys screeched in disgust.

“”Ewww’ is right,” I said in agreement.

“Mine are too,” Julia admitted. “You see, both of them were born in Soviet Estonia and, trust me, I was, too. Then it was only after the perestroika that we emigrated to San Diego. And then as soon as they started watching Fox News, they started using communism as an excuse to be bigots.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, babe,” I said as we continued to trick-or-treat.

Then my grandma’s other friends gave us candy too; among them were Karina Cherkas, Ada Lushtak, Ella Tillis, Fima Rappaport, and so on. Also, my grandma’s cousin named Riva gave us candy. Then we ended up going to a Halloween party that was hosted by the parents of one of Nephthys’s friends. While the kids played, we adults simply mingled with one another. It turned out that the parents in question were the ones who bought a Halloween-themed cake from our bakery all along. Then the kids (Nephthys included) ended up eating said cake while the adults had other desserts.

“Wow, this cake is delicious!” said Allistair, who happened to be one of Nephthys’s friends.

“Yummy!” Ursula, who was also Nephthys’s friend, squealed in agreement.

“Where did you get this cake from?” asked Tanesha, who was also among Nephthys’s friends.

“My parents bought it from The Sweetest Dreamz Bakery,” Amanda said proudly.

“Mommy, Renny, you make the best cakes ever!” Nephthys beamed.

“Thanks, kiddo,” Julia chimed.

We all continued to have fun together until it was time to go home. You see, we all lived on 41st Ave. and Sunset Elementary School was the exact school where we were sending our kids to; that was the exact school where Nephthys made friends with Allistair, Amanda, Tanesha, Ursula and many others.

As soon as we headed home, not only did I bring the now-empty bowl inside, but we ended up eating some of the cookies that we brought home earlier that evening. Afterwards, we ended up watching Hocus Pocus on TV.

“I don’t like these witches,” Nephthys whispered.

“I didn’t either,” I admitted.

We continued to watch the film until it was time for bed, so we had to take off our respective costumes and makeup (and in Nephthys’s case, help her take off her makeup), after which we put our pajamas on. When all was said and done, we offered to tuck Nephthys into bed, even though she declined.

“Suit yourself,” Julia said.

“Good night, Mommy and Renny,” Nephthys said prior to heading to bed. “Best Halloween ever.”

“Good night to you too, honey,” I said.

“Magusad unenäod, kallis (Estonian for “Good night, dear”),” Julia said as we went to out master bedroom, after which we climbed to our bed and began snuggling with each other.

“You know, Julia,” I said, “you are a very sweet woman.”

“So are you,” Julia cooed sweetly, “and I’m glad that I married you.”

“So am I, babe,” I purred, “and maybe next Saturday, maybe we should go to Mendocino and take Nephthys with us. How does this sound?”

“That’s a good idea,” Julia smiled as we continued to cuddle each other in addition to giving each other sleepy kisses until we drifted off to sleep.