Blue Chips & Juice Cup

She watched from a distance as the two people walked slowly to her part of the park. A man was walking there with his son, holding his hand the whole time. It seemed so odd to her as the boy was rather tall, looking to be in his early teens and yet he was holding hands with who seemed to be his father. When they arrived, the man finally released the boy’s hand and let him go, but he never stayed more than ten feet away, and often got closer if he felt the young man needed help with something. He was a total helicopter parent, even coaching the kid to do simple things like come down the slide. It all seemed so strange to her, so she decided to walk up and find out what was the background of what she was observing in her park.

“Hey there,” She called out to the man who looked to be around her age.

“Hello,” he softly replied, “Great weather today, eh?”

“Oh yeah,” The lady agreed, “Wonderful day to take the kids to the park.”

“I agree,” the man said, “I don’t get him out here as often as I’d like but everyone was in good spirits this morning, so I decided to take him out.”

“I’m Diana,” the lady said, extending her hand to him.

“Philip,” the man said, shaking her hand. “I assume those two rug rats are yours?”

“Yes,” Diana said, looking back to check on them. “Ricky is six and Rose is four.”

“That’s nice,” Philip replied, “This is Frank, and he’ll be twelve in December.”

“I hate to sound awful,” Diana said, “But do you think it’s fair to hang around him so much?”

“It’s not awful to think,” Philip said, even smiling. “You’d be weird not to think that. Truth is, Frank is Autistic. Be careful there, bud!”

“Blue chips and juice cup?” the boy called back from wherever he was on the jungle gym.

“Not yet bud,” Philip called back, “Watch your step, and hold onto the rail.”

“When was he diagnosed?” Diana asked.

“We were late, not until he was five.” Philip answered, “We’ve tried to catch him up, but he’s so far behind and schools haven’t been very helpful.”

“I was wondering about that,” Diana admitted, “Why he wasn’t in school.”

“He had an incident the other day,” Philip replied, “No one was hurt but the school felt it was best if he took a few days off. Not an official suspension but a short break they said.”

“That has to be tough,” Diana said, “What about your work?”

“I work from home,” Philip said, “I usually get most of it done while Frank sleeps.”

“Blue Chips and juice cup?” Frank called out again as he was closer to his Dad on the jungle gym.

“Not yet, bud.” Philip called back.

“What is he asking for?” Diana asked, unaware of what blue chips were.

“Cool Ranch Doritos,” Philip asked, “He calls them blue chips because they come in a blue bag. I prefer to used them because the little guy loves them and compared to candy or chocolates, tortilla chips are not as bad for him. He’d literally eat them all day if someone let him, so we have to use them sparingly.”

“How verbal is he?” Diana asked.

“Compared to others, not much.” Philip admitted, “We’re still working on more words, but it’s a struggle and a very slow process.”

“So school isn’t helping much?” Diana said, remember what he said earlier.

“They do what they can, but kids with autism are more of a distraction.” Philip admitted, “They’re often sent home just to get them out of the way. Sometimes I wonder why I send him there at all because of how much they try to avoid him.”

“That’s terrible,” Diana said, looking back to check on her own kids, who were fine.

“It’s not their fault,” Philip countered, “They’re already overwhelmed, and grossly underfunded. There’s only so much they can do. I don’t really blame them, because I know many of them are trying their best.”

“But how can he make himself a life without that help?” she asked, but the question only managed to generate a laugh from Philip.

“He won’t have one,” Philip admitted, “He will need twenty four hour care for the rest of his life. Not a nice thing to say, but it’s a reality that working very hard to prepare for.”

At this moment Frank bumped into another kid, but both of them appeared to brush it off and just move one. Philip walked over to where the boy was and leaned over to talk to him.

“Are you alright?” Philip asked him.

“I’m fine,” The kid replied, “Blue chips and juice cup?”

“Soon,” Philip said, pointing to the slide, “Take the slide and then snack.”

“Okay,” the boy said before starting to walk off towards the slide.

“That seemed like a nice response,” Diana observed.

“He’s what they call mildly verbal,” Philip said, “He’s able to understand some words and comments, but I have to cut the sentences shorter so that he can understand them easier. For example instead of asking him if he wants to use the bathroom, I’d just say bathroom and use a tone that suggests that I’m inquiring and he understands it easier.”

The young boy made it to the bigger slide and with a little coaxing from his dad, managed to slide down with a smile. After reaching the bottom, Philip helped the boy off the bottom of the slide and took a moment to hug his kid and kiss his brow.

“Nicely done, bud.” He said to the kid, patting his back.

“Blue chips and juice cup?” the boy again inquired.

“Alright,” Philip said, as he took the boy’s hand. “You’ve been playing nicely and it’s close to what would usually be snack time at school.”

Diana walked back over to her own kids and watched as Philip produced a small bag from his knapsack and opened it for his son. He also took a small juice box out of his bag and put the straw in it before handing it over as well. After checking on her kids again who were doing rather well, Diana decided to check up on Philip and his son as they were parked on a bench not far from where the other kids were playing. Not only was Frank munching on his blue chips and occasionally sipping his juice box but he was also watching a cartoon on an ipad, and was quietly keeping to himself.

“Does he watch that a lot?” Diana asked his father.

“More than I’d like to admit,” Philip admitted, “I try to limit its use, but he does really like it. He’s surprising good with it, and knows how to use it more than I do sometimes.”

“So there are some things he’s good at?” Diana asked, curious about it.

“There are some things he can do,” Philip said, as he pretty much disregarded the idea she was suggesting. “But don’t let Hollywood fool you. He will not be counting cards in Vegas, or being an uptight doctor in a hospital any time soon. Those people are not actually autistic.”

“Wait, they’re not?” Diana asked, shocked to hear this.

“The gifted kids you see in movies and television shows massively misrepresent autism,” Philip explained, “Because the kind of geniuses those actors portray have what is called savant syndrome, and that is only found in less than three percent of all kids on the spectrum. It’s total bullshit for Hollywood to only focus on them, but then again I’d be the first to admit that the real face of autism isn’t exactly entertaining.”

“I see,” Diana said, as she was referring to that show on tv about a kid that was autistic that was a doctor in a hospital. She had no idea how fake it really was. “I’m sorry for assuming that it was remotely real. You must get that a lot.”

“It’s upsetting, but you learn to get over it.” Philip said, crossing his arms and sighing. “Like his schools, most people are not interested in learning what really happens to most of the kids. They’d rather just ignore it and hope that it never happens to someone they care about.”

“How do you and your wife handle this?” Diana asked.

“We don’t,” Philip said, “We’re divorced. I’m watching him while mom works, and then take him on weekends. We considered doing half and half, but we felt that would disrupt Frank’s schedule too much. One has to consider the boy’s routine with is more important than the time I could get.”

“This all sounds so daunting,” Diana said, rather surprised by it.

“You learn to get by,” Philip said, as he noticed something. “Are you alright, Diana?”

“I just feel awful,” Diana replied.

“You shouldn’t,” Philip said, “This is just another thing in life we have to deal with. Just like you and your own kids, I’m willing to do anything for mine. I’ll be here for him as long as I can.” 

“I get that,” Diana said, “But I feel awful because a part of me is happy that neither of my kids are like yours. I’m so sorry for thinking that!”

“Don’t be,” Philip said, as he didn’t appear to be offended at all. “I’m also very happy that your kids are not like this. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but it’s the reality I have to deal with. Some parents have to deal with worse things and while my kid needs a lot of care, he's actually quite healthy. It may look bad here, but there are even times when I’m thankful it’s not cancer, cerebral palsy, or worse. So don’t feel bad, because even I have days when I’m thankful that things aren’t worse.”

“You’re not saying that to make me feel better?” Diana asked.

“No,” Philip insisted. “I’m saying it because it’s the truth. Frank is always going to be like this, and I’ve accepted that and everything that comes with it. Don’t feel bad for us, because we’re doing alright. Sometimes I even think God made me his parent because he knew that I could handle it. That I was put here to help Frank out.”

Philip stopped talking as he noticed that Frank was finished with his bag of blue chips. Philip took it from him and tossed it into the garbage can beside the bench.

“All done,” Philip said to the boy, who then handed over the ipad. Philip put it back into his bag and then grabbed the boy’s hand as they both stood up.

“Chicken nuggets and French fries?” Frank asked.

“Not a bad idea,” Philip said, “I think we have some in the freezer. We can have that for supper.”

“Chicken nuggets, French fries, and ketchup?” the boy repeated.

“How about nuggets, French fries, ketchup and plums sauce?” Philip asked the boy.

“Yes!” the boy replied, “Chicken nuggets, French fries, ketchup, and plum sauce!”

“Well at least dinner is decided,” Philip said as he turned to face Diana, “We have to go now. It was a pleasure to meet you. I’m sure we’ll see you here again someday.”

“I’m sure we will,” Diana said, waving. “Have a good day.”

“Thanks, you too.” Philip said as he started to walk away from the park with his son.

“Chicken nuggets, French fries, ketchup, and plum sauce?” the boy called out again.

“Yes, what a great idea!” Philip said, as he chuckled and playfully hugged his boy again.

Diana went back to watch her own kids, who were behaving rather well that day and not causing any chaos. Yet she couldn’t help but look back watch as the two walked away from the park and back to wherever they had come from. Her views of the small boy had changed, as did her respect for a parent she originally thought was being too overbearing. Now she thought he was amazing and one of the most patient parents she had ever seen. She took a moment to be thankful for the what she had as she went back and gave her own kids a big hug before taking them home as well.