The Memories We Leave

"What exactly are we doing out here Dad?" Cass whined pitifully sleepy at her father as they stumbled along in the near dark. "You'll see", her father, Sam, had teased her not unkindly. In a swift motion he gathered the young Cass up in his arms with a grunt of effort.

"Trust me it'll be worth it." Cass laid her head sleeply on his shoulder. "Tell me when we get there." He chuckled as little snorts of slumber rose to his ears. She was not much of a morning person but she was going to love this; if he could get them there in time. He quickened his pace as much as the rocky terrain would allow a man laden with a slumbering child to go. They reach the rock shelf mere minutes before the sun emerged from behind the horizon. Sam settled his sleepy daughter on a log that had been carved just for occasions such as this. A quick glance around the large ledge showed only one other duo; a father and teenage son. The two fathers nodded greetings to one another before Sam shook Cass awake. "Wake up honey! We're here! Come on you're going to miss it!" Cass blinked her eyes rapidly as she fought down her instinctual urge to slip back into her comfortable slumber. After all when she slept life was perfect not all jumbled up or crazy like when she was awake but her dad and gone through a lot of trouble for her to be here, wherever here was, so she forced her eyes open. "Where?" She managed to croak out before the first fiery red ray of light popped into existence to the east of them. A small gasp followed the sudden appearance of the sun's first glorious rays. The boiling red was joined by a dark swirling orange and followed by a far-reaching explosion of yellow. All of these colors were displayed on a pink backdrop with streaks of gray and blue spread throughout.

As they sat together watching the sky transform from a living portrait of fire to a never-ending blue expanse with little white wisps swimming through it Cass found her courage. "Dad," her voice was low but determined. "Yes honey," Sam turned his eyes from the beauty of God's handiwork to the beauty that he loved most in the world. "I think it's time to go home." She could feel her eyes growing hot with unshed tears but she refused to look away. She thought Sam might get upset or even angry but instead he just nodded his head slowly. "Yeah," he patted her rail thin childs knee. "yeah, me too."

"I miss Mom," Cass whispered as her courage began to fade with the rising of the sun. "Yeah," Sam sniffed backed tears of his own as he gazed out over the wondrous landscape of the mountain chain before them. "I just wanted you to see this before...", his voice failed him. Cass wrapped her fingers around his giving him a squeeze of comfort.

"Yep," Sam stood up, "it's time to go home." Cass stood taking a moment to move near the edge of the rocky shelf. Below a valley spread away from her for miles, from up here the tall green grass appeared to be a sea of green that rolled in the breeze. Above a monstrous brown and gray rock rose clumsily into the air ending suddenly in a wall of white powder. All around the endless blue skies stretched as it raced for the horizons on either side of her. "Thank you Daddy," she whispered as he joined her, "it's the most wonderful thing I've ever seen."

"Come on," he urged her, "the trail is easier to follow in the light."

As the truck rolled along the highway Cass read aloud the interesting signs they passed. "Crocodile farm four miles. What's a crocodile farm Dad?" Sam shrugged with a lopsided smile. "A farm full of crocodiles I would guess."

"What about pancake museum?" Cass read the next sign to him. "Huh? A what?" Sam asked as he switched lanes to avoid driving behind an uneven lumber truck.

"A pancake museum Dad. You think they serve pancakes there?" Sam chuckled. "Is that your way of telling me you're hungry?"

"Seriously Dad, look right there pancake museum two miles, exit 76b." Sam read the brown and white sign as they passed it. "I guess we could go see if they serve pancakes."

"Cool," Cass hung her head out the window whooping as the warm wind whipped along her cheekbones. "Pancakes!"

"But I'm not eating any pancakes that have been on display for more than five minutes." Sam joked with her as he took the appropriate exit.

"What if they were George Washington's pancakesDad? And you had to eat them or England would get the country back?" Cass stared in mock shock as Sam parked in the small lot before a big brown oaken building with the words 'World's Only Pancake Museum' attached to the eve hanging over the front door.

"Guess you better practice your best British accent then girl-o. You know tip tip cheerio and all that." Cass laughed loudly at his horrible accent. No Dad, just no. Stick to teaching the Revolution. You're much better at it."

"Come on," Sam stepped out of the truck holding the door as Cass slid across to join him. 'Seriously though," Cass continued as they approached the glass doors, 'you think they really serve pancakes here?" Sam pointed to a sign attached to the window. "Stacks of three $2, add bacon or sausage for $2 more. Looks like it to me."

"Cool," Cass excitedly opened the door bowing with a flourish as she did so. "This way me old chap."

"Old?" Sam's scoffed as he entered the building. "Well, you have a 12-year-old Dad, so yeah." She giggled as Sam took a pretend swing at her with his foot. "Not fair," he protested as a young red haired woman with a smattering of freckles across her nose join them. "Just the two of you today?" She asked jovially.

"Yes," Sam tried to be serious but a smile kept creeping wider as Cass made faces at him from behind the young woman.

"Will you be wanting a tour today or are you just eating with us?" She turned to see Casa slapping her fingers playfully next to her cheeks like wild elephant ears, her tongue touching the tip of her nose, and her eyes crossed. Shee immediately straightened up when the girl spotted her. "Sorry," she whispered staring glumly at the ground.

"Hey," the girl laughed playfully, " it's okay I still play around with my dad too. So you want the tour? It's actually pretty cool. When I give it anyway. She winked at Cass.

"Can we Dad?" Sam's sighed. "Tell you what I'm pretty tired after all that driving. So why don't I go sit down and you take the tour then you can come tell me all about it? Sound good?" He gave another weary sigh as Cass' smile faltered ever so slightly. "Are you okay?" "Sure kiddo just tired. Go have fun. She," he held out his hand to the waitres in a questioning gesture. "Maxine",she supplied. "Maxine seems like a fun kind of girl."

Cass shrugged. "Okay."

Maxine pointed to a series of small tables through the door to her left. "Sit anywhere. We'lll be over here." She pointed to the door on her right. "Josh will get you some coffee."

"Daddy only drinks water. Everything else is bad for him. Right Dad?" Cass informed the waitress. "Oh, I don't know," Sam yawned, "a cup of coffee might do me some good today."

"Dad!" Cass seemed surprised.

"It's okay honey. Go enjoy your tour." He headed for the tables.

"He never drinks coffee anymore," Cass told Maxine in a worried voice. Maxine smiled. "Car trips have people doing all kinds of strange things. Come on I'll show you the world's largest pancake it's even in the Guinness Book of World Records."

"Really?" Cass asked her father temporarily forgotten.

"Yeah," Maxine led the way into the museum.

A few hours later as the old truck pulled into their driveway Cass was still happily babbling about Maxine and the pancake museum. "They really did have a petrified pancake Dad. It was found in an Egyptian tomb." "Sounds fascinating I'm sorry I didn't..." The front door banged open as an angry brunette shot out into the yard. "How could you Sam?" She yelled as she pulled open his door. "Do you realize what could have happened? What would Cass have done if something had happened to you? Why don't you think before you do these things?"

Suddenly Sam seemed beyond tired as if he had been stretched too far. He held up a shaky hand to silence his wife. "Cassie," he croaked, "we had a great day. Look at her so happy, full of good memories. I wanted her to have something to hold on to besides home hospital beds and hospice nurses." As if on que a kindly middle-aged woman in blue scrubs came out the front door pushing an empty wheelchair along.

"I wanted her to remember that I took her up a mountain, that I carried her when she was tired, and that I loved her." He padded Cass lovingly on the knee. "This was the very best day of my life. I am so happy I spent it with you, honey. I love you." Tears were spilling down everyone's cheeks his nurse Rachel helped Sam into his wheelchair as the last of his strength was quickly fading.

"I shouldn't have gone with him mom," Cass cried into her mother's chest. "Oh baby," Cassie soothed her, "you did not do anything wrong. Your daddy wanted to spend this day with you. I just wish I had not made him feel like he had to do it in secret." They stood for a while their grief mingling together as their tears soaked through their shirts. "Let's go see if Rachel has Daddy in bed." Cassie finally urged them to move forward with the rest of the world.

Cass tossed the rock into the water watching the moonlight distort in the ripples. She felt so empty, as if she had spent her entire life supply of tears as they lowered him into the cool ground that morning. People had been speaking to her all day offering various forms of condolences but she could not remember a single word. When her Grandfather Paul had offered to take her up to his lake house for a few days she had only been able to nod.

"Tip tip cheerio and all that,"she whispered to herself in her awful British accent. A tall dark form loom behind her, as the ripples cleared she saw Grandfather Paul had joined her. "How you doing kid?" He asked as he settled on the ground next to her. Suddenly that empty well inside her filled with tears once more. She fell against him as he wrapped her in his loving arms. "It's okay you just cry it all out," he encouraged her. After a while she pulled away to toss another pebble in the water. Grandfather Paul sat patiently waiting for her to decide on what she wanted to say. Finally she asked him. "Did I ever tell you about the sun rising over the mountains and the pancake museum?" When he shook his head no she felt herself smiling. "Well," she started slowly. "Last week Dad woke me in the middle of the night... "